


Emotionally

by jyuubi



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Emotional Infidelity, Emotional Roller Coaster, First Kiss, First Long Fic, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, Romance, Sasuke is one of the most emotional characters in naruto, Slow Burn, he is somewhat more passive than the asshole he is in canon., i try my best to show how emotional he is, poorly edited lol, slightly OOC: Where Sasuke is already comfortable and very much in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:48:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 52,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24917122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jyuubi/pseuds/jyuubi
Summary: (edited) Sasuke, young and set on whatever future that was entrusted onto him, never in a million years thought his life would change so early in it's course.Running away from things he was yet to understand; running away from his bestfriend who he hopelessly fell in love with— running away from him because what else would you do when they've, just like Sasuke, hopelessly fallen into a love of their own?But Naruto wasn't one to forget without forgiving, not one to forgive without an explanation. That was what was expected from him, yet he was all but a mature man— pettiness was normal for a mere teenager like him, and when your perfect bestfriend decides to treat you like you don't exist for God knows what, being 'the bigger person' was well out of his head.It's a wild goose chase in hopes for a mutual understanding; that the two of them will have to inevitably meet in the middle.
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 57
Kudos: 69





	1. Enter

**Author's Note:**

> \+ this fic will prolly be 10 ish chapters! i update whenever i can but since it's summer break for me i can maybe do 2 updates per week... each chap no less than 5k words 
> 
> \+ it's not *heavily* edited/beta'd bc i get too excited and end up posting it but i eventually go through it and re-write some details
> 
> \+ the fic is a mix of the real world and narutoverse! so some details might be confusing/wrong but you can just tell me n i'll figure it out
> 
> \+ highschoolers r underage
> 
> start: june 25, 2020  
> end: august 4, 2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke needs to solve his problems, just as he usually did. But with Naruto in the way, he couldn't pin point who or what the problem truly was. His own feelings, or Naruto? Dumb crushes and shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not properly edited <3

_Where was that idiot?_

Their first day of senior high school, and Naruto was already late? It wasn’t like there was traffic, and he could easily run his way to their new school with his monster stamina.

Yet, he wasn’t here.

Sasuke impatiently stayed on his desk, chin resting light on his palm. He wanted Naruto here, but at the same time, he didn’t. His heart and mind truly loved to force him into conflicting spaces. 

The class was fairly noisy, his fellow classmates already acquainted with each other. Despite that, no one had bothered him yet, and he wanted to keep it that way— he was scared to be approached.

But of course, such things were never meant to last. Someone had plopped themselves on the desk besides his, loudly sighing as if to grab Sasuke’s attention. Sasuke turned to the source of the racket, his heart racing in anticipation. _Not_ Naruto, right?. He forced himself to school his expression, not wanting to show his anxiety.

“Inuzuka Kiba,” the stranger introduced himself, a large smile spread on his tanned face, messy hair just barely touching his eyelids. He felt his shoulders relax. When Sasuke doesn’t say anything, he continues speaking. “And you are?”

Sasuke, dazed yet calculating, took a few moments to speak. “Sasuke,” he said. “Uchiha Sasuke,” he continued.

Kiba nodded enthusiastically, amazing Sasuke with his carefree attitude. Once Naruto befriended this dude, they’d be an annoying force. “Well, just wanted to know all my classmates’ names,” he grinned, not noticing Sasuke’s perceptive eyes. “Nice to meet ya, Sasuke,” Kiba patted his back, turning to walk away.

Sasuke had completely forgotten about Kiba right away. Fuck, what if Naruto decided last minute he was going to choose another school? He didn't want to think about how his stomach had curled in the thought of it, how his palms started to sweat. He sat there, reliving the moment again and again in his head, sorting out his thoughts and imagining how the rest of his day would go. Naruto would come to school late, avoid Sasuke, and—

He knew this was just the first-day-nerves, and he went back to wondering if Naruto was too afraid to go to school.

_Afraid to face Sasuke. Hell, this wasn’t first day nerves— he was a fucking debater for God’s sake. First time nerves weren't shit to him. He just wanted to make friends so he could avoid Naruto too._

A few minutes later, his thoughts were yet again interrupted when a teacher had stepped in, his presence forcing the students to scatter into their seats, and Kiba sat right beside him. Sasuke imagined he probably looked a little squirmish, but he quickly convinced himself that people cared less than he thought. There were more important things to think about. 

The teacher’s hair was tied into a short ponytail, and a scar— the raised flesh across his nose and lay half on each his cheeks. He had walked right into the middle of the room, picking up a piece of chalk and started to glide his hands over the chalkboard. When he was done, he stepped aside, Sasuke noticing the _Umino Iruka_ written in kanji down the board.

“Everyone,” he started, the gentle voice startling Sasuke. “Umino Iruka, Umino-sensei, Iruka-sensei, Teach, whatever you call me, I’ll be there,” he smiled. “I’ll likely be your homeroom teacher for the rest of your senior highschool. We don’t need to know everything about me today,” his smile widened, eyes fondly skimming the room. “Let’s start by introducing ourselves, shall we? Let’s start with…” He looks around, pointing to his left, to the seat closest to the sliding doors.

Everyone’s eyes were brought to that direction, and there sat a girl with bright, pink hair and green eyes. She stood up quickly, her chair screeching as it was pushed backwards and turned to face the class. “Haruno Sakura,” she said aloud, her face bright and cheerful. Sasuke met her eyes, and she suddenly turned away and flushed. “Please call me Sakura! I’m sixteen, my birthday is on March twenty-eighth, I like to dance, sing, and my least favorite subject is Math!”

Their teacher chuckled, arms crossed, his head cocked to the side in amusement and eagerness to understand his students. “Anything else?”

“No, Iruka-sensei!” She exclaimed, blushing. She sat down shortly after. 

"I hope you'll like math, especially when I'm the one teaching you, Sakura," he maintained, then gestured for another student to speak. 

The rest had pretty much introduced themselves in a similar fashion, with a few exceptions like this girl named… Hinata, who had whispered out her name and sat down. It matched her outward appearance, soft and relaxed eyes. Encouraged by her actions, he decided he’d do the same, not bothered to put out a facade. When it was finally his turn, last, as he sat in the corner of the class closest to the window.

He stood up, and opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He couldn't, his mind was forced to sidetrack. 

Again, he was interrupted. It was Naruto, who had swung the doors open, and it hit so hard Sasuke wondered if he had broken school property on the first day. But it only ricocheted, hitting Naruto back on the side of his face. The class had let out a light laugh, and Sasuke only sighed, resisting the urge to face palm at his friend’s antics. Naruto was groaning and rubbing his cheek, tears brimming his eyes in pain.

“Naruto!” Iruka exclaimed, “you’re late!”

Sasuke arched an elegant brow. “Uncle… why—” So _this_ was the uncle Naruto was so excited to meet. Naruto snapped his wrists up to look at them, probably expecting a watch. There wasn’t, so he quickly scanned the room, looking for a clock. Instead, his eyes landed right on Sasuke, and Sasuke hastily looked away. He couldn’t… face him right now, with the way things were between them. 

Naruto always proved him wrong, of course. “Sasuke!” He happily yelled, as if nothing has happened in the past half month, and slowly started to march towards him. Sasuke glared at the approaching blond, forgetting his earlier anxieties. If a fight was what Naruto wanted, he was going to give it, and he was going to win. He really ought to credit Naruto’s power of making him forget.

Naruto flinched, his nose scrunching in confusion. “Why’re you mad so early in the morn—”

“Sit down, Naruto,” Naruto turned around, towards their teacher, glaring. “I’m your teacher, as long as we’re here, and I expect you to treat me like so.”

“Fine,” Naruto quickly grumbled, sitting on the only seat available that was in the middle of the classroom. He turned to the girl beside him, who Sasuke recognized as Ino. “Hi, I’m Naruto,” he whispered loudly. Ino nodded back, and her lips seemed to move, implying she was introducing herself to the loud boy beside her. Naruto was really damn good at being… normal. Something Sasuke had great troubles with.

Sasuke turned back to face the whole room, palms flat on his desk, sweat slowly oiling up the surface. “Continue, Sasuke,” Iruka said, and he noticed how Naruto quickly looked at Sasuke, waiting.

“Uchiha Sasuke,” he said, echoing the same lame introduction he had said to Kiba. Kiba chuckled, and Sasuke ignored him. “I’m fifteen.” He quickly noticed Naruto’s unimpressed frown.

“Really? That’s it?” Naruto said aloud, and Ino quickly slapped his head. She hissed for him to shut up. Of course they were chummy already. “Geez, Ino… Sorry,” he apologized, the apology obviously not directed to Sasuke when it should’ve. Sasuke sat down.

Iruka looked at the watch on his wrist, completely ignoring the fact that Naruto had yet to introduce himself. Sasuke knew as well that the whole school would get to know him within the week, anyway, and a minute-introduction wouldn’t be enough for Naruto. 

“The bell will ring in a minute, so get ready to meet your other teachers!”

Naruto, to Sasuke’s surprise, didn’t let out any protests or questions on why he wasn’t given his time. He just sat there, leaning down to open his bag and take out a notebook.

“The schedules will be distributed tomorrow, along with seating arrangements and mandatory club-application forms,” Iruka smiled at them, uncurling his arms and grabbing the folders on the teacher’s desk. He gave them a quick wave, “see you all later!”

—

The bell had insistently cut off their Geography teacher, causing him to pause and drop the chalk. He turned around to face the class one last time for the day. “Well, again, I’m Kakashi-sensei, bye,” he muttered, grabbing his belongings and walking out and passing the sliding doors. Not a teacher he expected to be taught by… but he couldn’t care at the moment.

Kiba bolted right as their teacher left, muttering a quick explanation; ‘ _toilet_ ’, he said, stumbling around the desks. 

Fuck. It was now lunch, and Sasuke knew he would have to face Naruto soon. He knew he had to get over this problem _now_ , but he just wanted it to prolong it and even more so: ignore it. He knew it was wrong, and Naruto had been acting normal and maybe he should too— but no, he wasn’t Naruto and there were some things he couldn’t do that Naruto could. This was simply one of them.

“Sasuke!” A girl stood by him and greeted him. Sasuke looked up, forced to hold a stare with intense green and his own pitch black eyes. Her eyes formed crescents as she smiled. “I’m Sakura…” She trailed off, “just in case you weren’t listening…”

Sasuke shook his head. “I heard,” he simply said. Why was this girl approaching her? It seemed like he only attracted people that were his complete opposites, such as Naruto… and now, Sakura. Loud and obnoxious and so fucking _eccentric_. Her pink hair was weird and unnatural. Sakura didn’t wait for him to continue, though it seemed more like she knew he wasn’t, so she sat down on the empty desk beside him, dragging it so they were right beside each other.

“Let’s eat together,” she explained, probably feeling compelled to when she saw Sasuke’s confused expression. Sasuke nodded, leaning down to his side to grab the bag he’d lay on the floor that had his lunch. He softly placed it on his desk, unfolding the knot his older brother had done for him. He hesitated once the cloth was off and laid flat underneath the plastic box.

Sakura notices. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“What’s in there?” Sakura asks, curiosity lacing her voice, “can’t be that bad.”

Sasuke knows it _can_ be that bad, for a high schooler, especially. He knows Itachi always added a little flair to his food, maybe a cartoonish design of him in tamago and nori or some corny _good luck Sasuke_ rice beside octopus sausages. It wasn’t really a problem until now, and that was because Naruto was always there to eat his food with him, not caring about the cheesy designs, because food was food. But now, he wasn’t.

Sasuke looks around to look for Naruto, expecting the familiar blonde hair to be hidden amongst a group of heads, but it was nowhere to be seen around the class. He turned back to his food. Thinking about Naruto one-sidedly was doing him no good. He also knows it wasn’t a big fucking deal, it was just food and his brother acting cutesy, but he still couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed.

He hadn’t reacted fast enough when Sakura swiped his food away, pushing her own lunch in front of him. She quickly stood, skirt swinging in her movements, and he could feel the guys around them swoon at the girly movement. Lucky Sasuke, the pretty girl choosing to approach him, the pretty guy. Maybe they’d make a good visual couple… but…

“Sakura,” Sasuke whispered darkly. He needed to see it before anyone else did. He looked up at her, slowly standing up on his own. “Give it back.”

Sakura laughed light heartedly and shook her head. She stepped back, opening the lid and peaking in. Sasuke had lunged for her, completely forgetting the chair that was between them.

The next scene went down in slow motion. 

His shin painfully made contact with the chair’s side, causing him to topple over. One knee landed on the chair, hoping it would save him, but he only continued to move forward and something hooked his slipper, forcing his attempted balance to a halt. His arms loosely flailed, and maybe he could reach for the desk ahead of him… but Sakura was in the way. No way in hell would he grab her hips or anything just as vile. He met Sakura’s terrified eyes, pleading with her to somehow save him. She looked like she didn’t know whether she should save Sasuke or his lunch. The latter choice was closest.

 _Oh God…_ It was their first day and he was already embarrassing himself! He braced himself to land on his forearms, or on his side, but we was much too close to the floor and—

“Umph,” strong arms quickly circled his waist, ending his fall. Sasuke quickly moved to untangle himself from the arms, to save from further embarrassment. He quickly put his brain back to work and glared at Sakura. She handed his lunch back, and turned to look at who saved him, hoping it wasn’t who he thought it was.

His eyes flickered into blue ones for a second. “Naruto,” he greeted.

Naruto frowned. “Huh. Not even a thank you?”

Sasuke rolled his eyes, pretending not to be affected. He pushed Naruto away and sat down back on his seat, this time carefully pulling the chair back so he wouldn’t be hurting any more shins. He replaced Sakura’s lunch box with his, “sit down, Sakura,” he said, now purposefully ignoring the blond. Sakura slowly sat beside him, looking what seemed to be guilty.

Sadly, Naruto didn’t leave, instead, he bent down and hugged Sasuke's neck, cheeks pressed to the raven’s hair. Sasuke felt his cheeks go warm at the sudden contact, and he hoped Sakura was dumb enough to not notice. “You ignored me for a month, stupid. I missed you.”

Sasuke snorted and pinched one of the arms that engulfed him. “Get off,” he hissed.

Naruto whined and gave him one final squeeze, arms finally loose around him. “You better walk with me later,” he mumbled, grabbing Sasuke by the chin and forcing their eyes to meet, poking Sasuke’s cheeks with the same hand. “Okay?” He’ll never understand why the stupidly large blue eyes affected him this much despite years of constantly seeing them.

Sasuke huffed and nodded his head, “yeah, whatever. Just wait for me." Sasuke didn’t want to admit that he expected Naruto to whine about him leaving Naruto alone, despite knowing friends came easy to the blond, and he’d be proud of Sasuke ever making friends himself. Naruto quickly stopped the annoying (heart wrenching) poking, a grin plastered on his face that seemed to stretch the scars on his cheeks and only intensify his attractiveness. “See ya.”

When Sasuke turned to look back at Sakura, she had an eyebrow arched at him. He mirrored her expression, “what?”

“I think we’re the same,” she said. Sasuke continued to silently stare at her, waiting for her to explain. She leant forward, her hair swiping across Sasuke’s cheek. Her lips were right beside his ears.

“Hopelessly in love with our best friends.”

—

Sasuke stayed back for a while, moving as slow as he could to make Naruto impatient and hopefully end up going home on his own. He knew that wouldn’t happen. Naruto had the _biggest_ patience for Sasuke and they would never break their go-home-together ritual unless absolutely necessary. For all Sasuke knew, Naruto would wait as long as his life lasted for him. He knew he would do the same, yet he looked at Naruto in a completely different light. So Sasuke did everything he could, packing his notes slowly, small-talk with Sakura until she frowned and told him to leave then she ran after Ino like a lost puppy, and lastly asking Iruka-sensei questions he already knew the answer to.

Iruka had patiently arched an eyebrow at Sasuke, probably finding the rambling and obviously forced questions amusing. At the sixth question, Sasuke wasn’t even maintaining eye contact at that point, staring at his fumbling fingers, building up another question in his head. When Iruka doesn’t answer fast enough, Sasuke looks up, desperation in his eyes. The time to leave was getting closer, and he was dreading it.

“Iruka-sensei?” He asked, meeting his teacher's eyes.

“What’s wrong, Sasuke?” Iruka asked, ignoring Sasuke’s previous question, “I’m sure you don’t need to ask, right?”

“N-nothing,” he weakly choked out. “I was just confirming some things…”

“Well, confidence is key,” Iruka smiled, patting standing up and patting Sasuke on his shoulders. He turned Sasuke around by his shoulders, giving him one final and firm pat. “Whatever you’re about to do, you’ll do it well. Now go off, I’ve got records to sort out.”

“Thank you,” Sasuke murmured after a moment, but his teacher was no longer listening, already sitting down.

Retracing his steps the way he got to his class, Sasuke continued to— as naturally as he could— walk slowly. The halls were scarce of students, the only ones he’d encounter were those who were unfortunate enough to be on cleaning duty the first day. He unconsciously went to his (currently) useless critical thinking.

The school he and Naruto had previously attended only went as high as junior high, forcing them to transfer. Making the two of them essentially the cliche t _ransferred-in-the-middle-of-school-life_ students, if they were anything like that. Or maybe they were the _two hot transfer students that girls drooled over._

He was already down the last flight of stairs, passing by some juniors who stuttered in their movements as they saw him. He ignored them, turning by a corner to the shoe lockers. Finding his locker and slowly opening it, he grabbed his loafers out and carefully placed his indoor ones in. Pushing past the double doors, he was instantly hit with the breeze that fluttered past the pink flowers. It made him forget who he was about to meet for a moment. Only a moment.

Naruto stood by the gate, on his phone. The light that hit the blond moved along with the wind, reminding Sasuke of the power Naruto’s charm held against him. Naruto was exactly a weakness he could never overcome.

 _Confidence is key_ . He had a lot of that already, in fact, he had too much. He was nearly completely shameless; the blunt, bold, asshole he was. It was _Naruto_ who was the fucking problem, always giving him cold feet once the time came. He remembers the last time he’s seen the blond, a month before now.

It was almost an exact replication of back then, the only difference was that they were in front of the school instead of behind. And the cherry blossoms were fully bloomed; completely different from how he was— far from the true ends of his potential, all because he became all gooey and weak to a simple, fucking, _boy_.

_“Sasuke.”_

_“Naruto?” Sasuke nervously mirrored Naruto’s tone, refusing to look at Naruto. They were currently outside, the cherry blossoms that had started to bloom scatter around their new school casting a dark pink shadow on the two._

_They were about a meter away from each other, and it was their feet that met instead of their eyes. Part of Sasuke knew that if he looked up to those bright blue eyes, he would forget the things he had to say. Sasuke grind his loafers on the ground, obviously uncomfortable, even though—_

_“You’re the one who dragged me here, y’know?” Naruto reminded him, and Sasuke sighed. It was their last day of junior high school, and Naruto had things to do before he could get home, probably some club party or one final game of soccer. Sasuke was eating a lot of that time Naruto could’ve used for his goodbyes._

_Naruto frowned, clearly getting a little annoyed and impatient, but still; his eyes were clear and anticipating, expecting. Naruto crossed his arms and stared at Sasuke’s slumped shoulders. He could wait a little. Maybe he could consider this his patience training. It was indeed very difficult, after all._

_Once Naruto had let a few minutes (that had seemed like hours) pass, he uncrossed his arms and swung the bag he’d left beside his feet over his shoulders. “Look, we can literally talk later, I don’t see what the big deal is that you’re even keeping me here,” Naruto suggested._

_When Sasuke still refused to talk, Naruto had started to worry, “or, I can go home with you, and we can talk about it on the way? You look—”_

_“I…” Sasuke cut him off. He choked on his words before he could continue. He really needed to look up before more of the air he swallowed clogged in his throat._

_“You what?” Naruto softly pushed._

_He looked up quickly, eyes fierce as a show of determination. He nearly froze when he met those deep, blue eyes. But he couldn’t stop now. “I like you.”_

God, Sasuke didn’t want to remember any of that. Naruto had simply chuckled and stepped back at the confession. Sasuke would’ve been pissed at the unusually passive reaction, but the blush on Naruto’s cheeks told him otherwise. Stupid, weak heart catching feelings so easily.

_“That’s all,” Sasuke continued, his face flushed with heat. “Have fun at your party,” and he turned to leave. He abruptly stopped when Naruto gripped his arm, and he turned to look at Naruto. “What?”_

_“Let’s talk about this later,” Naruto whispered, letting go of his arm. His body twists towards the direction of the field, a grin on his face. He salutes at Sasuke, yelling a quick ‘cya!’ and running off._

Obviously, Naruto wasn’t able to contact Sasuke whatsoever. Sasuke, the same day, had a flight to Singapore with his family. The situation made sure that Naruto couldn’t meet him face to face and he could easily ignore the persistent messages.

He’d spent a whole month in Singapore, arriving back in Japan only three days before their first day, with another excuse to ignore the blond: _getting rid of jet lag like the time difference wasn’t only one hour_ and preparing for another school year. Naruto wasn’t dumb enough to believe that. He was also not dumb enough to not understand Sasuke didn’t want to talk to him.

Now they were in a similar atmosphere, a month older.

Sasuke lightly walked towards Naruto, making sure he was expressionless and passive. He was a few steps away when the blond finally looked up. He doesn’t stop walking, passing by the gate and on to the street. Naruto jolts and scrambles to run beside him.

They walk in an agonizing silence.

“Sas—”

“I don’t like you anymore,” Sasuke blurts out, only looking ahead. Another _big_ , _fat_ , _lie_. “If that’s what you’re thinking.”

Naruto’s mouth snaps close. Sasuke can see the blonde head turned to him in the corner of his eye. He misses how Naruto purses his lips, letting odd silence pass by. Naruto cuts through the tension like he always did, a chuckle escaping him. “Well, if you say so. You get over people so fast!” Naruto bursts into a full on laugh, yet Sasuke doesn’t feel the tension leave his shoulders as the laughter always did. The laughter felt forced, insincere, weird… he didn’t like hearing it. He didn’t comment on it, he shouldn’t, when Naruto was always the one keeping it together between the two.

“I wondered if you really meant it. Right, Sasuke? A little uncanny coming from you.” Naruto smiles ahead, and despite the topic, Naruto’s smile finally infects him. He feels his chest get a little lighter at Naruto’s own lightheartedness. “Well, now that that’s over, let’s enjoy our high school life!” He declares, arm wrapping around Sasuke’s neck to pull him close.

He feels knuckles roughly grind on his head, he scurries to push the blond away, laughter threatening to rumble up his throat as he feels another hand climb and poke his waist. “Still ticklish as ever, huh, Sasuke?!”

Naruto’s fingers were now fully pushing into his waist, Sasuke squirming as he wheezed out light airless laughter. “S-Stop,” he gasped, losing focus and instead of pushing the annoying boy away, he clutched his stomach, growing exhausted and lightheaded. “N-Naruto, you fucker…”

At that, Naruto finally stopped, wrapping his arms around Sasuke’s own, squeezing so hard he was lifted a little into the air. He feels Naruto press his forehead into his shoulder. “I missed you, bastard. Running off like that.”

Sasuke ignores the feelings rising in his stomach, attempting to pinch the other’s stomach— but motherfucker had nothing to pinch. Just stupid smooth skin and tight abs his fingers ran over as he unconsciously caressed in a futile attempt to scratch through the fabric.

Then, Naruto lifted his head, and bit his shoulder. Sasuke froze for a second. “ _Gross!_ oh my god, Naruto! You _cunt!”_ He flailed harder in the arms that were wrapped around him. Naruto eventually let him go, Sasuke taking the opportunity to quickly elbow the blond on his stomach as hard as he could.

Naruto hunched over, it was apparently (thankfully) strong enough to penetrate those stupid abs. “Ughk,” Naruto groaned. “Strong fucker. Join the soccer team already.”

Sasuke smirked, “I’m no sport guy.”

“You beat my fucking team in relay during sports day. Then your team won when _I_ forced you to join one game of soccer. _Then_ you fucking aced in volleyball. Leave your bullshit debate,” Naruto sighs, exasperated. “You’ve got so much potential in sports, but you’d rather _debate?_ ”

“You’re right, you’re right,” Sasuke agrees, humming. He eyes the idiot, as he finally brings himself up to stand straighter. “But I _like_ debate.”

“You seem to be having fun with sports too,” Naruto points out.

“I do have fun.” Sasuke starts to walk again, happy that a little painful noogie was all it took to lighten up the mood a ridiculous amount. “It’s just not my thing.”

Naruto lets out an unamused snort, “yeah, okay, fine. Sasuke Uchiha, the genius.”

“I work hard, Naruto,” Sasuke corrects, but not only does Sasuke’s heart flutter, his ego inflates. “Maybe I’m a little bit of a fast learner too.”

“Hm. Yeah. I’m looking forward to this year.”

—

“Alright,” Iruka-sensei starts, erasing the math equations he put on the chalkboard. “Cleaning duty… and… you all got your club forms. Find the club room you want, enter and see if you like it… and fill up your form. Nothing too different when you were juniors, right?” He looks over his shoulders to look at Sasuke. Sasuke lightly nods his head in reply.

When the clock hits three thirty, the bell thrums through the school and everyone immediately moves, Sasuke included. He packs his things, swiping the club sheet and form off his desk. Slinging his bag over his shoulders, he maneuvers around his classmates and reaches for the door. He waves Sakura a little goodbye on the way as well.

“Sasuke!” It was Naruto. “Wait for me!” Sasuke bothers enough to look back, nodding. He walks out the door and leans against the window frame to his classroom.

“Oh, first year,” someone says. Sasuke looks up from the sheets he was skimming, eye to eye with a stranger. This one was much like Naruto, blue eyes and blond hair that fell over one side of his face. He looked down at Sasuke, a large smile plastered on his face. “Well, join the art club? Model for us!”

“No thanks.”

“Hmm, I see. What club do you plan on joining, then?”

“Debate.”

“Hmm. You don’t look like the type.”

Sasuke doesn’t reply. It doesn’t stay quiet for too long, this senior of his getting tugged away by another student, a second year, judging by the color of his slippers. “Deidara!” The dragged-away senior calls out, and Sasuke infers it was his name.

“Sasuke! Let’s go,” Naruto peeks his head out the door. Sasuke spots the trash bag in Naruto’s hand.

“That was really fast. Did you even help?”

“Yes, I fucking did, asshole. I need to throw this out. Let’s go,” he mutters, grabbing Sasuke’s wrist. Sasuke lets him get pulled wherever, eyes glancing from time to time at the paper that he held. It was a fruitless effort in pushing down the butterflies in his stomach.

—

“Yuck, you’re stinky,” Sasuke scrunches up his nose, eyes squinting at Naruto. “First day of club activities and you’re already… _that_ stinky?”

Naruto rolls his eyes, walking alongside Sasuke. “ _Activities_ , Sasuke. You said it yourself. We were _active_.”

“Whatever you say, dumbass.”

“Let’s get some onigiri,” Naruto suggests, ignoring the common insult. 

“I don’t have money,” Sasuke says, inching away from the blond, the stench really getting to him. Stupid erotica saying it was sexy. This was just disgusting.

“I’m paying, duh,” Naruto chided, “you never have money.” And Sasuke shrugs. It was true. His brother and parents provided him enough and he never found the need to spend too much for himself or carry it to school.

“I don’t need anything extra.”

“Yeah, yeah. Okay, nerd, how was your club?”

“Fine.” More than fine, actually. He’d enjoy it. They’d had a debate with twenty minutes of research, the first years versus the third years. They'd lost beautifully, a good feeling coming upon him; something that you usually don’t feel when you lose.

“God, you’re so boring,” Naruto groans, rubbing a temple, as if it was painful listening to Sasuke. 

“I had fun.” Sasuke couldn’t bring himself to babble about the fun and excitement he’d had with arguing.

“I don’t get it, you have fun arguing?”

“I don’t see what’s hard to understand,” Sasuke sighed. They were turning a corner the opposite of their usual path home, towards the grocery store. “Maybe you should try it. I have fun with sports, maybe you’ll have fun debating,” Sasuke chuckled. “Considering how much we argue.”

“One day…” He trails, then, “I wonder what’s keeping us together,” he mumbled. “Whatever, I’m not complaining.” They were already in the parking lot in front of the store, they’re half skipping closer to the entrance. 

“I want tuna mayo onigiri,” Sasuke says, as they enter the grocery.

Naruto nods, heading towards the open fridge on their left. “Go get us some drinks. Get me pudding shake.”

“Gross,” Sasuke says loud and clear for Naruto to hear. It was indeed a fucking gross drink, oversweet and it stuck to your throat. Naruto throws a glare at him, “ _I’m_ paying!”

“I’ve never tried tarako. Cod roe is so weird,” Sasuke says, plopping the drinks onto the counter. He eyes the two onigiri wrapping that read _tuna mayo_ and _tarako_ , both with cartoonish fish as a design.

“I’ll give you a bite. Give me some of yours too— _corn potage?!_ And you bully me for liking pudding shake? The hypocrisy.”

“Corn potage is delicious.”

“So is pudding shake,” Sasuke rolls his eyes, and he doesn’t continue, letting Naruto shoo him out of the way to pay for the food. When the trade has completed, Naruto thanks the cashier and grabs the plastic bag, for the first time walking ahead of Sasuke to leave the store. The sun was starting to set, orange sun hitting the two nicely. Sasuke felt warm despite how cold it actually was.

Naruto sits out the glass door, right beside the newspaper rack. Sasuke sits beside him, grabbing his food. He opens the wrapper without waiting for Naruto and leans against the window, taking a bite of his onigiri. The rice was sticky and soft on his tongue— it was some good fucking store-bought rice. He ate it slowly, as he usually did, also keeping in mind that Naruto wanted to try his tuna mayo onigiri.

“Can’t believe you’ve never tried tarako. And that I’ve never tried tuna mayo. We’re too non-experimental,” Naruto says between chewing. “Nah. You don’t even eat onigiri, you wicked soup addict— and I eat too much ramen to bother… Here, some tarako,” Naruto holds out his own rice ball to the direction of Sasuke’s mouth.

Sasuke swallows the leftovers in his mouth, turning to lean in into Naruto’s offering. He frowns when Naruto’s hands quiver, and he tucks a strand of hair behind his ear as it nearly touches the food. He bites into the rice, immediately tasting the fish.

He leans back up, chewing. It tasted okay, and he certainly didn’t like the textures of the roe with the rice. He liked tuna mayo better. He turns to grab his drink, flicking it open and taking a few quick gulps. Then he’s leveled with Naruto again.

They stared at each other, and Sasuke doesn’t miss the barely-there blush on his cheeks. Nearly invisible as his tan skin blended in with the warm light. Sauke was sure he had his own blush on his cheeks, more obvious due to his pale skin. He arched an eyebrow at Naruto. 

Unexpectedly, Naruto glares at him, eyes narrowing. “You ate all the damn fish, bastard.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hopefully i don't lose motivation for this lol NARUTO POV NEXT TIME IM EXCITED TO WRITE IT!!
> 
> \+ Narusasu will turn 16 soon. Sakura's 16 already, stupid early-in-the-year-birthed people. 
> 
> PLEASE READ IF CONFUSED! american society and japanese society is very different!
> 
> \+ japan is really keen on honorifics and formalities (calling someone by their last name, and not their first, as they are not close), but with the way naruto (the show) is, where everyone is really casual with each other and last names are only mentioned when talking about clans, it felt awkward to put. aside from the whole thing written in english, hopefully that's as american as it gets, lol.
> 
> \+ rest time between spring break to a new school year is only about two weeks in japan, just in case it's confusing. they have summer break after the first term, so no worries.
> 
> // kudos to my friends from japan helping me out!


	2. Paying Attention

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol unedited pls i'll edit everything after i finish... hopefully
> 
> i have an obsession with writing in medias res and adding flashbacks lol

“Woah!” Naruto watches as Sasuke and a few other students walk on the auditorium stage, their necks barely visible with the amount of medals that they had to carry. Few of them had trophies in hand, and of course, both of Sasuke’s hands were occupied. The raven's face was passive as always, quite grim compared to the bright smiles of his teammates. 

Sakura elbows him on the side, her eyes full of pride and amazement, just as Naruto’s were. “Your boyfriend is amazing.” 

Naruto snorts, his shoulders and chest jumping, a mix of shock and hesitance. “Not my boyfriend. But yeah, he’s amazing.” 

God, boyfriends and girlfriends. He didn’t want to think about them; but he does. Aside from playing soccer, he liked the idea of fooling around _that_ way with another person. At the moment he couldn't think of who he wanted to be with, finding friendship the highest node of connection with others. But he doesn't have to think about that now; as things come and things go, and waiting was the right thing to do. 

Several names were mentioned through booming volumes, along with Sasuke’s, explaining what they had done; brought pride to the school— claiming multiple spots at the top of the competition they’d participated in. They were given a moment to shine, a photographer on the foot of the stage taking flashed-photos. The flickering lights in the room made the students on stage truly like the big shots they were.

Naruto had heard from Sasuke about the regional competition he signed up for. Sasuke was gone for a full weekend to go and compete in one of the high schools in Chiba. The boy had texted him how large and prestigious the school was, how he’d sat beside a girl during one of the events when he wasn't allowed beside his teammates, and that she’d ask for his Line ID. 

Sasuke, as expected, turned her down by lamely saying he didn’t have Line, and went to find his teammates as soon as the event was over. Naruto replied with some laughing stickers to show he was only charmed with his near-straightforwardness. He only found Sasuke’s anti-socialness terribly funny, especially when Sasuke was open to him and no longer faced the boy’s bitchy side. 

Sasuke excused himself after a little online small-talk, saying the debate portion was coming up. Naruto gave him a cheery _good luck_ , and patiently awaited Sasuke's later texts. 

He got one hours later, but it was only Sasuke saying he was tired. Understanding of Sasuke, he simply wished him another good luck, some praise, and a good night. It was when Naruto was out for a late grocery run the next afternoon when he was finally contacted by his friend, suddenly calling him on his way home from the store. 

_“Sasuke!” Naruto enthusiastically answered the call. A day without contact with his friend made him realize how much he missed him._

_“We’re done with everything,” Sasuke easily continued, his voice relaxed and almost breathy. Naruto could imagine him slumped backwards, shoulders loose, eyes lidded. “We’re headed home now.”_

_“Congrats! Did you have fun?” Naruto stopped in his tracks, his giddiness making it difficult to focus on the streets._

_Naruto hears a husky chuckle across the phone. “Yes I did, mother,” Sasuke teases. Then there's some murmuring that Naruto can’t make out, but he doesn’t get to question it when Sasuke continues to speak. “We’ve qualified for the next round. Overseas…”_

_“Oooh…” Naruto muses, surprised. He’s yet to weigh the pain of feeling Sasuke away for a more extensive time. “You’re going?”_

_“Of course I am.” Sasuke answers right away, an air of confidence pouring out of his words._

_“Anything special about it?” Naruto could tell that despite Sasuke being obviously relaxed, he was also obviously tired and begging for some rest. “Actually,” Naruto interrupts, they could always talk to each other the next day, just like how it usually was. “tell me tomorrow.”_

_“Yeah,” Sasuke agrees, sighing. “See you.”_

_—_

“Wow,” Naruto let out a breath. He still didn’t believe Sasuke would get this far so fast and early into the year. He was just so _amazed._ It had already been a few days since Sasuke enlightened him with the details of the overseas competition, but he still couldn’t get over it. Naruto would repeat what Sasuke told him, Sasuke correcting him here and there until Naruto basically perfected his memory; reciting the details word-by-word in his head.

The two were sitting by the window— or more like Naruto leaning against it while he observed his club members play on the field. It was their unspoken deal: Naruto would spend one of his lunches of the week to accompany Sasuke, instead of sweating on the field. It seemed like going home together everyday after school and constant chatting wasn’t enough. 

“Yeah,” Sasuke confirmed, swallowing the fresh cherry tomatoes he was chewing on. The day Naruto decided (usually Fridays) to stay with Sasuke were the same days Sakura had other, more important things to do. She had been elected by their class as their representative and had to report to the student council every once in a while. Naruto cringed at the barely dodged chance of him becoming President, after he was jokingly recommended to Iruka-sensei by Ino, the class wholeheartedly agreeing. His grades were hardly above average back at junior high, and not to mention he probably couldn’t handle such responsibilities when he was just a first year. Leave that to Sasuke. 

“Maybe I should join the debate club,” Naruto shrugged. “I wanna go overseas too!” 

Sasuke eyed him amusedly, packing up his bento. “Well, you’re welcome any time.” 

“Oh, I know,” Naruto turned to luck at Sasuke, crumpling the foil between his palms. “You think I’d be good at debate?” He watched as Sasuke wrapped his empty lunch box with a fan-patterned fabric. 

Sasuke doesn’t look up to answer him, tucking the box neatly in his bag. Naruto thought if it were him he would’ve just dumped it in. “Who knows?” 

Naruto seriously did consider it. Soccer was a blast but he wanted to be good at something else too, just as Sasuke was. And he loved talking, and apparently Sasuke’s overseas trip wasn’t just debate and win or lose. The competition encouraged communication between participants through special events and even a huge party before the end, and Naruto wanted to experience that too. Maybe he’d have to get his grades up first. 

Naruto snickered and tossed the foil in the bin across the class. He hummed as it fell right in, “maybe I should just try basketball.” 

Sasuke rolled his eyes and stood up, “you want to try everything, don’t you?” He steps out of his space and walks towards the sliding doors, twisting and turning between the desks. Naruto follows him, knowing Sasuke was probably going to wash his hands in the toilet. 

“I want to find something to be committed to,” he easily says, stuffing his hands in his pockets. 

“Fucking cheesy,” Sasuke snorts. Naruto doesn’t miss how the boy squirms at his answer, but he doesn’t say anything about it. His friend was always damn unpredictable just as he was.

They walk beside each other, Naruto having to wave at the few students that call out his name. After a few rounds of exchanged greetings, he hears Sasuke mumble ‘ _popular_ ’ under his breath. 

Naruto barks out laughter, finding his friend’s anti-socialness hilarious. “You’re very popular, bastard,” Naruto chuckles, remembering the girl who stuttered as she spoke to him, asking to relay a letter, to which Naruto just encouraged her to do it on her own, saying Sasuke was nice. In the end, he didn't know what happened, and neither the girl or his friend told him anything. “Some girls I expect who’ve come for me just want to know if you’re single.” 

“I don’t care,” Sasuke dismisses as they finally reach the toilet. He brings a hand under the faucet while the other turns it on. Naruto does the same, but he doesn’t let Sasuke forget anything. 

“Yeah, right. I always say I don’t know, and maybe I truly don’t,” Naruto starts again, flicking his wrists in the air and drying his palms with his pants after soaping and rinsing them. “We don’t really talk about our… love lives.” 

“Because we don’t have any,” Sasuke replies, patting his hands dry with his handkerchief. “And friendship is all about emotional vulnerability, anyway." They start walking back to their classroom.

“You say that, but you’re rarely any form of vulnerable with me," Naruto says— what a cheesy thing to say. Maybe Sasuke thought more of their friendship than he originally thought. 

Sasuke shoves his arm in annoyance. “Idiot. Maybe if you paid attention.” 

Naruto’s mouth immediately forms a pout, and the sight of it only annoys Sasuke further. “But I do!” 

Sasuke only shakes his head, likely not believing the him. 

Naruto didn’t understand what the hell Sasuke meant.

The most vulnerable he’s ever seen Sasuke was when he’d confess before absolutely disappearing and leaving Naruto in the dust. He was first annoyed when he was greeted by Itachi when Naruto visited their home, who explained the suitcases by the door meant they were going to travel. _Duh. But Sasuke didn't say shit!_

Naruto insisted he be allowed to say goodbye to Sasuke, but Itachi didn’t let him step in, as he would apparently only distract his brother from packing properly. 

_“I thought you were already done! You have suitcases there already!” Naruto whined, an accusing finger pointed past the older boy._

_Itachi only shook his head. “He hasn’t done his packing, Naruto.”_

_“He told you to hold me off, didn’t he?” Naruto was on the verge of stomping his feet in annoyance and desperation. “He tells me that—“ Naruto pauses, glaring at Itachi._

_Itachi smirks, leaning against the doorframe. “He told you what, Naruto?”_

_That he likes me, then he runs off like this! “Nothing, you bastard of an older brother! Let me see him!”_

_“Sasuke loves me very much, thank you,” he eyes Naruto, eyes squinting a little that made Naruto feel a little nervous and embarassed from acting like a spoiled child. “You may not see him.”_

_“Fu… Itachi, help me out!” Naruto hears Sasuke’s voice. He perks up, twitching to shove Itachi out of the way and face Sasuke. He holds it instead._ _When Itachi doesn’t move right away, he hears Sasuke yell out his older brother’s name again._

_“That’s my cue,” the older boy says, and pats Naruto on the shoulder. Naruto doesn’t have time for any more protests when the door was slammed shut only inches from his face._

“It doesn’t matter,” Sasuke says. Boy was Naruto glad things were quickly back to normal after Sasuke had come back. He was thankful for the mutual want to set things as right as possible, even with the underlying feeling that things have changed after that confession. “Get back to your seat.” 

The pout on Naruto’s face only deepens. “Why do I have to sit so far from you?” Even after he’d begged Sakura to exchange seats with him, she didn’t budge. Sasuke didn’t seem too bothered to not be sitting with the blond, and he didn’t want to admit that he was a little disappointed in the lack of response, even if that was how Sasuke usually was. 

“I think it’s better like that,” Sasuke nods at him, flicking his wrist, a gentle request that Naruto should go away. 

“Why? Scared I might steal your light?” 

“I’m scared to suck up your dumb, idiot. I have Sakura in charge of being in the spotlight all the time. Don’t try to make yourself special.” 

“Aw,” Naruto’s pout fell into a frown. “No need to be so mean,” Naruto half-cries. But Sasuke doesn’t bother to talk anymore, settling his point. Naruto observes his friend’s eyes move as they follow someone’s movements. Naruto turns as well, spotting Sakura walking back into the class and towards them. Naruto hastily steps aside, bringing back a pout on his face. 

He points two fingers to his eyes and then to Sasuke, “we’re not done here,” he insisted, the corners of Sasuke’s lips curling in amusement. 

_

  
  


It was raining outside, and the gloom from the rain seemed to seep into the large, bright, people-filled halls. 

Once Sasuke was done bidding his goodbyes to his own family, he slowly strolled towards Naruto, who stood with sagging shoulders. The blond was anticipating this moment, and he was surprised to feel more sad than he thought it would. 

“You’re actually leaving,” Naruto showed a face that resembled a gloomy dog. Anyone could imagine Naruto would droopy ears at that moment— almost pleading for Sasuke to not go. They were currently at the airport, Sasuke about to leave with other students. His friend had already checked in, his big bags sent away, only carrying a backpack that held some essentials and his laptop as his hand carry.

Sasuke nodded, stuffing his hands in his coat pocket. He was wearing a black long coat over similarly black long sleeves, and loose gray trousers starting a little above his hip. “It’s just for two weeks.” 

“Still!” Naruto protests, “It’s two weeks. You’re leaving me in the dust, Sasuke.” Naruto was bouncing on his knees as he complained. He ignored Sasuke’s teammates that chuckled at his childishness. “You probably won’t even message me!” 

“I will—”

“You will, but barely!” Now, Naruto knew he was being stupid. Everything was already settled, as if some stupid whining from him would change anything. He just wanted to get as much reaction from the other as he could at the short time, yet he wasn’t getting much compared to the usual. “Two weeks, Sasuke. Two,” he whined. 

Sasuke only shrugged, knowing he would be unable to do anything. “Use it as time to make more friends.” Naruto didn’t know what to say to that; he already had a lot of friends. He plainly was going to miss this stupid-smart best friend of his, even if he was only going for a short amount of time. “I’ll get you souvenirs,” Sasuke offered, probably not wanting to leave Naruto in a sour mood. 

Naruto was truly distressed, not knowing what the hell he would do without Sasuke. He didn’t like the idea of going home alone, especially when he knows his friends went in different directions or sometimes couldn’t deal with his sweaty gross sun smell. In addition to that, it was already the rainy season and who could he share an umbrella with if Sasuke wasn’t there? He’d have to run under the rain!

But the offer had worked tremendously, just as any other plans Sasuke had. Naruto’s eyes brightened, giddily nodding his head. “You fucking better, bastard. And food. Bring me food.” 

Sasuke rolled his eyes, nodding to show his acknowledgement. “Noted.” 

Naruto then engulfed his friend in a bear hug, similar to the one they had weeks ago. He let go of Sasuke a second later, hands flat on Sasuke’s shoulders. “Good luck.” 

Naruto fondly stares at Sasuke, doing his best to ensure his eyes were filled with honesty and sincerity, despite not wanting the boy to go only a minute ago. He ignores the way his heart leaps at the sight of Sasuke with half-rumpled hair and flushed skin. He steps back, letting his arms fall to his side. 

“Thanks,” Sasuke says, just as he hears their chaperone call out for him. He turns around and walks to his teammates. Before they reach too far, though, Sasuke turns to walk backwards and wave to Naruto. Naruto eagerly reciprocates, vigorously waving his arms. Sasuke then turns back and they pass sliding doors that read _international flights_ in big bold English and kanji, not looking behind him again.

Once Sasuke was completely out of sight, Naruto felt his shoulders slouch in the coming sadness. After a minute or teo, he then feels a presence beside him, and turns to see that it was just Itachi. 

“Hello, Naruto,” He greets, a gentle smile on his face. Naruto looks over Itachi’s shoulder, seeing Fugaku and Mikoto walk away. Itachi glances towards the direction Naruto looked at. “They’re going to grab some food from Obon de Gohan,” Itachi explains. 

“Hi,” Naruto nods. “Your family is healthy as always, huh?” 

Itachi laughs, turning to walk as well. He pats Naruto on his shoulder as a signal to come follow him. Naruto trails a little behind Itachi, following like a hopelessly lost puppy. “You like ramen, right?” 

“Yeah,” Naruto answered. “But I only have money for my commute back.” 

“You treat Sasuke every time the two of you are outside, so take this as a little payback,” Itachi reassures. As they walked, _Ichiraku_ , the nearest ramen shop, was finally in sight. “And I can get my parents to take you—”

“No thank you. Can’t _you_ take me home?” Naruto chuckles. Sasuke’s parents were fucking scary, even if he’d only had direct contact with them once or twice. It was Naruto’s place where they would both rather hang out in. He didn’t like the sound of a ride with or from them… not now, at least. 

“I have to get back to my campus.” The older boy shakes his head. They enter the ramen shop, sitting a seat from each other in the booth. “Just say your order, and I’ll pay.” 

—

Naruto was now on the way home, reliving and reliving what had just happened. He didn’t know Itachi could be so damn scary… protective, over his little brother like that. Not when most of their interactions were carefree and never held strong topics and tension. 

_“Do you like Sasuke?” Itachi asks, snapping his chopsticks apart, not looking at Naruto. He whispers a low itadakimasu, proceeding to pull on his noodles._

_Startled, it took a little while for Naruto to answer. There’s only silence and dead air, as he copies what Itachi did, bringing the noodles into his mouth. “Pretty sure I’m straight,” Naruto says happily, a fruitless attempt in getting rid of tension. Itachi hums, silently slurping on his own food. The lack of reply made space for tension, so heavy it clogs Naruto’s vocal cords. There’s only gentle slurping amongst silence._

_A minute or two later, Itachi gets up, pushing his stool backwards with the back of his thighs. Naruto glances at the older boy in the corner of his eye, as he asks for the bill, quickly dropping the money into the cashier's hand. He had apparently already finished eating, chopsticks neatly balanced across the diameter of the bowl. The next words that came out of Itachi’s mouth sent his mind into a frenzy._

_“I didn’t ask for your sexuality, Naruto. I asked if you liked him.”_

On the surface, it certainly wasn’t that complicated. But he knew it was more than that. Itachi left the next second, not turning back to look at flabbergasted blond. He seriously didn’t fucking know what the hell that meant. He wasn’t very aware of the brothers’ closeness, and if Sasuke told him things about Naruto that he didn’t favor too much that resulted into this. He was left to wonder on his own, but he didn’t know where to goddamn _start_. 

—

“Naruto!” Three girls followed him to his classroom. He greeted each of them one by one once he sat down, all smiles and small talks. He was having a good conversation with one of them until she suddenly walked away along with the other two. It wasn’t even time yet, getting a little embarrassed when they started dispersing. They couldn’t leave him alone when they’d push his friends away just for his attention! 

But he wasn’t left alone, when a girl with light brown, bouncy long hair approached her. She stood in front of him, the desk in between them. She settles a palm on his desk and another on her hip, staring. Naruto lets himself get carried away in her emerald eyes, hers a shade darker than Sakura’s. They smile at each other, Naruto blinking in anticipation. Was she some mob boss that she could easily push the others away? 

“Hi,” he decided he’d greet first. 

“Hotaru Tsuchigumo,” she introduces. She was one hell of a pretty girl, the modesty of their uniform making her look innocent yet welcoming and experimental. “Hi, Naruto.” 

“Have we met before?” 

“No. But I’m from the class next door.” 

Naruto’s eyes widened a little. “How come I’ve never met you, then?” 

Hotaru squints at him, perhaps looking confused as to why he _didn’t_ know her, even if they’ve never interacted. “It’s because you’re always with that damn emo.” 

“Sasuke?” He tries, confused at her over-confident, nearly jealous attitude. 

“Yes. Him. Whatever his name is.” 

Naruto sheepishly smiles, rubbing the back of his head as leans back on his chair. “Well, he’s not here now.” 

“Anyway,” she smiles, Naruto following the movement. “Iruka-sensei was calling for you. He’s currently downstairs.” She gets her palms off his desk, flicking her fingers upwards as to order Naruto to follow her. The rest of the class paid them no mind. 

They made it down the stairs, and he was ready to turn around the corner but was pulled back, and dragged behind the staircase. Silence hangs in the air as Naruto stares at the girl in front of him. He was the one being pulled here, so he didn’t have to be the first one to speak, right? 

She looks up at him, eyes large as light barely hit it. “I like you, Naruto,” she whispers, fiddling with her fingers, an act of nervousness that wasn’t present when they first met moments ago. 

He immediately was reminded of Sasuke; but cuts it off, knowing his friend no longer felt that way towards him.

His eyes widen, a blush spreads across his face, this situation still foreign to him. He’d never been confessed to by a girl, loud and obvious about his absolute disinterest in relationships. The girls that followed him around, ignoring the fact in hopes to maybe infatuate the blond through conversations and not just confessions (which he didn’t know what they wanted, but he was glad to participate in any form of conversing, and he unconsciously encouraged the girls to continue to pursue him). 

Though this confession was a lot less charming than the one he received from Sasuke, he felt an odd pull towards her… forcing him to reciprocate, a clawing in his heart that made him uncomfortable. Naruto had never thought of engaging in any romantic relationships whenever he was with Sasuke. And now that his best friend wasn’t here, he was contemplating jumping head-first into this one, despite knowing how rash and fucking weird it sounded. 

The one he received from Sasuke felt pure… neat, and unsolicited. He felt a sense of ease in his heart when the boy confessed and painful shock when he was directly told those feelings were gone. 

It was always different without Sasuke. He remembered how he would only talk about girls and wanting to do stuff with said girls to friends who weren’t… _Sasuke_. But why was he suddenly considering it? It was just the third day of the absence of his friend and he was already this lonely? Talk about fucking pathetic. 

_It was like there was always a void to fill when Sasuke wasn’t there._

Naruto was reminded of the incident long ago, of how Sakrua called Sasuke his boyfriend that one special morning, and how… good… it felt. He would hopefully feel the same excitement when someone recognized his relationship with someone who actually liked him, but he’d have to decode what the hell Itachi meant before he jumped into anything. “Let’s be friends first.” 

Hotaru brings up a frown to her face. She huffs, turning around so fast her hair nearly hit him on his face. Maybe she was one of those girls in shounen who didn’t like not getting what they wanted when they wanted. Even if she truly wasn’t, his short interaction with her certainly made him think she was. Naruto dismissed it as quickly as possible, not wanting to jump into conclusions about a stranger. 

He moves away from the shadow the stairs provided, walking towards the general faculty room. He wasn’t surprised when his uncle— Iruka-sensei, was nowhere to be seen. 

—

He approached Hotaru the next morning, showing up in her classroom. He waved at her classmates as he reenacted how she had approached him the first day. He placed his palms on her desk, watching as her girl friends, who he recognized as the girls who followed him to his desk the other day, let out soft laughter and walked away to another corner. 

“What do you want, Naruto?” She asks, not looking at him. She was staring at the scene across her left, past the window, where the clouds had started to get gloomy, lightly sprinkling rain. 

After a moment of realization, Naruto easily cuts through the silence. “Oh fuck. I didn’t bring an umbrella,” Naruto muses. 

Hotaru chuckles, finally bringing herself to look at Naruto. He can’t seem to look away from the way the eyes looked back at him; challenging and inviting. “It’ll put off later,” she assures him. 

“Sure,” Naruto hopes, but talking about rain wasn’t why he was here. “Why do you like me?” He gets straight to the point. Maybe if he found out what people liked about him, he’d figure out what the hell Itachi meant. 

She shrugs, turning away again, but this time not because of annoyance or awkwardness as she did before. She simply found a more interesting subject, and that was the rain. “You have a good energy to you.” 

Naruto was a little taken aback. Now he was truly confused. He never received such a type of complement, making this one a first. Usually it was him being friendly to athletics or somewhat attractive. “Well… You have a weird energy to you,” he says, an abashed look on his face. 

Hotaru’s eyes narrow, but she doesn’t look at Naruto. “I know. The type of rich girl energy? I’ve been told.” 

“No, no… not really,” Naruto denies, even if he knew she was somewhat right. She seemed like a spoiled child— but the gloominess made from the scarcity of light in the room and the sadness in her voice made him change what preconceived ideas he had of her. Alone in each other’s bubbles, Hotaru just seemed lonely and… lost. “Just weird.” 

Silence overcomes the two, and Naruto doesn’t try to change that— the silence was comfortable and understanding, something he’d never felt around anyone before. 

  
  


—

  
  


It was still raining. Harder, compared to how it was in the morning. Clubs for the day had been cancelled, but Naruto had to stay back and do some work. That meant that most of the students had already left, so Naruto had no one to beg to share their umbrella with him. 

He _could_ make a run for it, and endure some scolding from his mother, but… 

Oh, yeah. Fuck it. Who cares? 

Naruto bolted, his sneakers bound to get soaked in rain water by the time he reached his house. But it didn’t matter… or he didn’t think it didn’t matter that much. He was too impatient to wait more than a minute in the shelter of his school. So, he ran. 

He ran with his bag in his arms, shielding it as much as possible from the rain. His notes _cannot_ get wet. Not when he was actually paying attention in class and writing down information right away instead of Sasuke teaching it to him. He was running well and fast— until he heard his name getting called out above the patter of raindrops on the pavement. 

He frantically turns his head like a madman, lost as to where the noise could’ve come from, but he hears it again. And he finally sees Hotaru— under a small shed and is soaking wet. He skip-runs toward her. 

“Oh, hi. Are you okay?” He asks. 

“Clearly not,” Hotaru snaps, twisting her sweater sleeve to get rid of the water. 

“We’ve been meeting a lot lately,” Naruto points out, and it was true. He never noticed Hotaru prior to Sasuke’s overseas trip—and speaking of the boy, he hasn’t even heard from Sasuke since then, only from Sakura who had showed off a photo of Sasuke taking a selfie with teammates, explaining that they’d land safely. He would talk first, usually, but Sasuke promised him he’d text first the moment he could. But Naruto didn’t receive any messages yet, despite Sasuke being three days into his fourteen day trip. He would spam the other boy later with dumb stickers—

“Well, yeah,” Hotaru hauls him out of his trance. He didn’t even realize how he spaced out in such a short amount of time; the cold was preventing his brain from functioning efficiently. “You’re always with that friend of yours… Sasuke.” 

“He’s a close friend.” Naruto shivers, a gust of wind pushing the rain into them even when they were under a shed. Naruto squawks, jumping backwards, Hotaru, startled, does the same. “Why’d you call me?” 

Had Hotaru not called for him, or if he didn’t hear, he would be at home right now: facing the wrath of his mother and yelling at him for not bringing an umbrella, then he would be excused quick enough so he wouldn’t get sick. He would be warm, his notes safe, and perhaps finally receiving a message from Sasuke. 

“Now that I think of it… I don’t know,” Hotaru said, tone apologetic. “But I’ll take the opportunity to say sorry. So, sorry.” She looks at him to show sincerity. After a moment of silence, Naruto breaks off, laughing bashfully, his head swung in the air, missing how Hotaru blushed and looked away. “I’m serious,” she relented. 

Naruto flicked a tear off the corner of his eye, laughter slowly subsiding. “Whatever you say.” 

“I’ve never confessed before,” she explains. “I would take you outside and then confess, to make the scene more appropriate… but it’s raining.” 

“Neither have I ever confessed,” Naruto admits. “Not yet, at least.” 

The mood lightens more, Hotaru letting out laughter. Naruto mirrors her, a large toothy grin on his face. Just as their mood, the rain had let out, sunlight reflecting off the large puddles of water on the street. 

Why not decode Itachi’s words _and_ get into shit? 

—

The rest of the time without Sasuke was spent with Hotaru, and Sasuke was able to talk to him the same day he had a little conversation with his new… now _girlfriend._ Sasuke had sent him the same selfie he’d given to Sakura, explaining that the photo was only sent two days later once he finally got wifi again. They had their usual talk for a few days, but then Sasuke had suddenly started chatting much, much less; replying with yes, no, even and ‘idk’… and Sasuke wasn’t one to use abbreviations, claiming they were lazy and corny. 

Naruto asked if everything was okay, to which of course Sasuke easily dismissed it. He even asked Sakura if they were still communicating, but she had only ignored him and said she was busy— which sounded so bullshit, because how hard was saying _‘yes, I talked to him’_ or _‘nah’_ to Naruto? The two were clearly ignoring him, but Naruto felt once he spoke to Sasuke face to face, things would get back to normal. 

He knew it was a little odd to get into a relationship after someone’s confession, but he wanted to give it a try. He told her how it was purely his first time again and again, to ensure both of them had space for accepting failure. Hotaru had excitedly gone along with it. Maybe this was what Naruto wanted to be committed to: a relationship. 

On the other hand, Naruto and Hotaru have been your cliche happy couple. He learned that she was indeed a rich girl, but her behaviour was only due to the required boldness forced upon her, needed for speeches, as heiress of her father’s company. Not because she got everything she wanted when she asked for it. 

Instead of playing soccer, he stayed with her every lunch when it wasn’t too muddy outside, and only playing after school. Then they’d walk home together as far as possible until they had to part ways— unlike how he and Sasuke would take every corner together until Sasuke went home first. The couple occasionally detoured to buy some snacks together, and split paths again. They haven’t had their first kiss together yet, but neither of them seemed to mind, patient with what progressing speed they moved in. 

Now he was a day from seeing Sasuke; from cornering him once again, this time, he would make Sasuke speak. He hugged his pillow, laying on his side on his bed. He was texting Hotaru, ranting about how Sasuke was being more of a dick bastard than usual and accepting her advice. 

_Just talk to him. Communication is key._ She’d say, assuring him everything was okay and a long-term friend wouldn’t leave him too easily. He agreed, ending the conversation with thanking her and greeting a quick good night. He would see Sasuke tomorrow, they would have a proper conversation and he would congratulate him once again. They have been friends since… forever, and they both were good at talking, weren’t they? Sasuke, a debater, and he, a fucking socialite. Things aren’t ever as bad as they seem. 

He certainly expected his friend to be more patient, not get angry at the sight of him. 

“Fuck off, Naruto,” Sasuke sneered as soon as he saw Naruto make his way towards him. “I don’t want to fucking talk.” 

Naruto missed his chance to talk to him during homeroom, as Sakura sucked all of Sasuke’s attention by giving him notes to copy and another appreciation assembly for them for going overseas. Just like last time, Sasuke and his team carried a shitton of medals and trophies. So it was currently lunch, and Sasuke was with Sakura as they stood beside the vending machine near the field. It was empty, no one wanting to play under the rain. Sasuke looked like he was trying to control his grip around the tomato juice within his palms. Sakura looked worried, her hand on Sasuke’s arm, an attempt to calm the raging boy down. 

What in the fuck was wrong with this friend of his? It was never like this. Naruto himself was starting to get angry as well, each passing second of Sasuke’s rage overflowing and pouring into him. “Why are you fucking angry? What’s there to be fucking angry about?” Naruto glowered, surprised when Sasuke flinched in reaction to him. He softens at the sight of it, his next words coming out less fierce. “Did I do something wrong?” 

Sasuke looked like he was about to provide some sort of explanation, but he snapped his mouth close and turned away, quickly grabbing Sakura’s wrist and walking away. Naruto glared at his friend’s retreating back, fighting the urge to call out to him. 

“Naruto?” Naruto jumped at the call for his name in Hotaru’s voice. Was Sasuke afraid of Hotaru? They hadn’t even met before! Naruto was fucking enraged at his friend’s rash and confusing behavior. With the way Sasuke was acting, and Itachi's words in mind, he only felt lost, already losing his motivation to... commit. Naruto could feel his heart breaking as he stood in his spot in disbelief. 

But he still believed this was a fight he could settle in a week. He _hoped_ it would be settled as fast as possible. But oh, fucking boy was he wrong. 

_Maybe if you paid attention._

_Do you like Sasuke?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \+ it's (edit) June** now ^ rainy season
> 
> \+ Naruto het? :O 
> 
> // Sasuke POV next AND IM EXCITED TO WRITE IT!!  
> AND i have a PLAN i promise . .. . . .. . 
> 
> thanks for reading!


	3. Fights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol i quarantine making me less flexible... fr couldn't touch my toes anymore. guess im getting back to flexibility work outs again
> 
> +++ jfc writing is so tiring.......... boutta hit 12 i been on this for 6 hours
> 
> unedited

“You’re being irrational.” 

Sasuke flinched at his friend’s criticism of him. Sakura’s right. He knows he should talk to Naruto, apologize, and explain his actions. But explain what? What was there to explain? There was no explanation to his sudden anger at seeing the stupid blond. It was fucking  _ irrational _ , after all. 

But his hard-headedness that rivaled the blond’s own was in effect. He wasn’t going to talk to him. He could care less for whatever relationship they had at the moment. Instead, he was going to be the pathetic genius he was— “I don’t care.” 

“You clearly do,” Sakura exhales, obviously annoyed at her friend’s unfamiliar stupidity. She crosses her arms, and it forces him to stop dragging her up the stairs. He throws a glare at Sakura for wanting to stop in the middle of a common area. But he didn’t leave her, not wanting to be more left alone at the moment. “So? You’re going to ignore your closest friend?” 

Few students walk by them, some shamelessly taking a look longer than a glance. He resorts to whisper-yelling. “I’m not ignoring you,” Sasuke spits out, his way of removing Naruto off his short friends list. He hated how much this class representative of his was making so much sense, the feeling of getting scolded and not being able to do anything about it residing in his heart. Part of him felt like he would regret this sooner or later; once he was back to being level-headed and logical. 

Sakura rolls her eyes, which usually meant that she took light of a situation, but he knew better. Sakura didn’t want to hurt him, sticking by him through the painful feeling of one-sided love. She understood him more than Naruto ever would, and that was purely because he now considered her his true closest friend. “I’m not your closest friend. And you know it.” 

Conversations were never the strongest between them, but he knew what she meant. Despite the fact, the glare never leaves his face, still refusing to accept Sakura’s painfully accurate words. His eyes remain rock hard for another extended minute, a void incapable of keeping. 

Eventually, she sighs, hiding her own piercing eyes and revealing softer, empathizing ones. She understood that he was in no mood to talk about whatever happened. 

“Fine. Do you have club after school?” She quickly asks, and Sasuke is thankful that she let the subject be postponed. 

“No,” Sasuke answers. Then, he adds, “not for the rest of June.” After their overseas trip, their debate coach was considerate enough to give them the rest of the month to catch up, especially since their exams were in a few weeks. 

“So, can we hang out?” Sakura asks, smiling, and Sasuke nearly forgets the sudden outburst he had earlier. He feels a little shame form in his head as he starts spinning his gears, and he was already starting to regret what had happened. But he wasn’t one to sidetrack; Sakura was clearly trying to lighten up his mood and he was sure as hell going to let it happen. 

“Exams are coming up soon,” he still tries to reason, but part of him felt attached to Sakura now that he wanted to get rid of Naruto. He didn’t want to be alone. 

“We can study hard the week before it, right? Just as usual,” Sakura counters, pulling Sasuke’s arm through hers, hooking themselves together. It was an awkward movement, getting someone to cling onto you. Sasuke nearly chuckles at the movement. She pulls on him, her turn to drag Sasuke to wherever they were headed, probably back to class. 

Despite her attempts, the air was still rigid and suffocating. He didn’t want to carelessly pull Sakura into his trivial friendship problems, mostly because she was in no way close to Naruto. But he knew he didn’t want to deal with such foreign and hurtful feelings, especially not alone. He tightens the arm looped around her friend, a strange pang of loneliness slowly corroding his heart. 

— 

“Sasuke. You can’t ignore me forever.” 

_ Oh no, yes I fucking can.  _

So he pays no mind to the blond, who was walking backwards while he faced him, arms out as if to beg for understanding. Sasuke quickened his pace, spotting Sakura in the distance as she stood beside the gate, an open umbrella in one hand as she scrambled the contents of her bag with another. The sky was gloomier compared to how it was in the morning, heavy invisible droplets in the air. His skin slowly absorbed the humidity, forming an uncomfortable, wet sheen on his skin. 

“Please, Sasuke, I’m sorry.”

Naruto looked like he was on the verge of falling backwards, and Sasuke hopes he won't, knowing he’ll only get guilty. He swiftly changes direction, moving diagonally past his ex-friend, harshly hitting one of the extended arms. 

Rather than feel apologetic for being a bitch to Naruto, he feels the need to let it out and be stupidly irrational again. The anger that Sakura settled within him was slowly rising back onto the surface again, and he was ready to snap at any moment.

Naruto starts jogging beside him instead, still spilling pleading words out his mouth. “Just please, please—”

“Sakura!” Sasuke calls, a few meters far from her. He walks faster towards the girl, who stopped her scrambling to look up at him. She seems to purposely not look at the blond who was on his tail, a grin on her face. He doesn’t smile back, not having the need to anyway. 

But Naruto could only take ignoring for a short time. He forcefully yanks Sasuke backwards by his arm. Sasuke weakly stumbles backwards, the blond being much stronger than him. It was all it took; Sasuke’s anger started to boil furiously, threatening to spill out through the glare that he held on his face. 

He tried to snatch his arm back, but Naruto’s grip was too strong. He was currently unconsciously creating a poisonous feeling, all the negative emotions he had bottled up stirring up inside him. Everything was so, so foreign, and he didn’t know how to deal with it. His stomach uncomfortably churns and if he let up anymore he’s going to fucking cry.

“Hi, Naruto,” he hears Sakura butt in. Sasuke feels a cold wet plop on his skin, telling him it was going to rain, but he can’t move to take his umbrella out with Naruto’s hand on him. 

Though Naruto lessens his grip on him in surprise, he doesn’t let go. He sends a wishing smile at Sakura, probably hoping she wouldn’t take Sasuke away. Sasuke only wishes she would. 

“I have Sasuke booked for today,” she speaks again, a hand dropping on the wrist that held close to him. Sasuke’s shoulders were stiff, feeling heavy of his own emotions, and with a final pull, he’s off Naruto’s hold, taking his umbrella out and quickly hanging it above himself. 

“But—” Naruto stops himself. His arms drooped sadly on his side, eyes low as he looked at his two classmates. The rain starts to trickle on him, wetting his hair and causing its natural calamity of a style to droop down. 

Right. Their ritual of walking home together that  _ he _ was so keen on following, yet he was the one breaking it when he easily shouldn’t have. 

But fuck, fuck,  _ fuck.  _

“Naru!” He hears the high pitched voice of Naruto’s girlfriend. Immediately his rationale is thrown into the gutter, and he feels every cell in his body need to be aggressive. 

“Your girlfriend, idiot,” he snarls, showing his canines in a threat. He rips his eyes off the blond, stomping away and letting Sakura follow. He ignores the gentle tapping his angry stepping made as it splashed the puddles underneath him, wetting his socks. 

Sakura catches up to him, the umbrellas keeping them a distance apart. He can feel her concern, reaching up his throat and tickling his vocal cords. He again is reminded that he needs to apologize. 

He looks over his shoulder, Naruto and the girl still talking where he had left him. She held an umbrella over their heads, a concerned look on her face. The girl must’ve felt him looking at her, as when she looks up, their eyes meet. By that point, Sasuke had already rid of all emotion in his face, but it didn't stop the girl from looking at him with curled eyebrows and the corners of her lips tilting down.

Sasuke interprets it as sympathy, making another wave of emotion coming over him as he feels pathetic and inferior and  _ annoyed. _ He quickly looks away before the other half of the stupid couple get to see his face. 

It’s ridiculous, feeling inferior to a girl Naruto met under a month. He feels pathetic to have taken Naruto’s friendly affection as genuine interest; feeling fucking played even if he knows he intentionally never was. A fool for daring to take their relationship to another level. 

He feels the urge to cry, his young age making him more susceptible to emotion. He doesn’t even realize how the angle of how he held his umbrella welcomes rain on him. 

“You’re going to get wet, Sasuke,” Sakura’s gentle voice enters, and it kills his need to shed tears. He grips his umbrella tighter, moving his wrist to adjust the protective item to shield himself better. 

“Where are we going?” He asks, voice a little tired. Other than his voice and the context of the situation he had gone through earlier, anyone who looked at him at first glance wouldn’t be able to tell what he was feeling. That he was upset, and mentally exhausted.

“Just my house,” she replies with ease, leaving the rain to do the rest of the talking.

— 

Sakura’s house was huge, but homey, just as Naruto’s was. He believes he would’ve been as close to her had he met her first. But of course not interested in anything other than a friendly light given his strict attraction to boys, and only boys. Sakura almost felt like a friendly rebound, but he knew thinking of her that way wouldn’t do either of them well. They were friends prior to this incident, after all. 

He was tired, the overwhelming amount of negative emotion he experienced in that short while draining him. He felt too young to be handling all those types of emotions, all  _ Naruto-related _ and  _ crush-related _ . 

In the end, he couldn’t truly blame the blond. It was  _ he _ who caught feelings, and  _ he _ knew anyone who looked at the bigger picture— would put the blame on him. After spending years with the other, eating together, studying together, going home everyday together whenever they could, he had become someone who wanted to show as much emotion as Naruto did; but it only seemed to happen towards Naruto. 

Clearly, he was unable to succeed completely. But the influence and power the blond held against him and not abusing it encouraged Sasuke to confess, knowing he’d take it well. And he did take it well, casually—  _ too _ casual that it scared him— even with the promise of conversation later, he, being emotionally vulnerable and only expecting the worst, hurt himself with his own emotions. It was always himself who brought pain to himself. 

Next was his nature of being easily jealous; Naruto was a goddamn fast learner. It picked on his ego when the blond’s name laid a little below his when ranking the top students by the end of their last junior year. It all depended on whether he was motivated or not, and it ticked Sasuke off on how easily Naruto had gotten himself into a relationship and seemingly left Sasuke behind. 

He was too self-aware. He realized long ago that he was somewhat toxic, but his resolve was weak and his ego was too big. Humbling himself was difficult, as he was too confident. 

He slumped backwards on Sakura’s bed, not wanting to talk but he knew it was coming. He had to face it, Sakura pushing him for the better, ripping his walls apart and building a sturdier one with a gate instead. To let people still be able to enter his heart but not let the littlest things hurt him. 

“You’re jealous.” Sakura, now in her home clothes, landed right beside him. She laid her hands on her chest, staring at the ceiling. 

Sasuke doesn’t move. “I’m not.” 

“You should be happy for him.” 

“He’s left me behind.” 

_ “You _ left him behind,” Sakura corrects. “He’s trying to talk to you.” 

“What’s he going to tell me anyway?” 

“You’ll know once you talk to him.” 

Sasuke groans, closing his eyes and tilting his head back in exasperation. But he doesn’t want to. He feels okay not talking, he feels fine with just leaving the issue behind. Forgetting was always easier than forgiving or admitting. But he knows he needs to resolve the issue.

“What do I tell him?”

“Sorry,” she advised. “You apologize with all your heart. To his girlfriend too.” 

Sasuke cringes at the picture he created in his mind— him, apologizing, as the couple stood beside each other while they looked down at him. An image that pricked his heart and his ego; something that made him want to drink rat piss instead of letting it happen. “No,” he says, even if he knows Sakura’s right, for the hundredth time. “No thanks.” 

Of course, he knew what he had to do. He also knew he wasn’t going to do it. The shame and guilt he was drowning in earlier seemed to be completely gone when the girl had looked at her that way. His impulsivity did him no good unlike it did the blond. “You have to, though.” Sasuke feels her shrug, the sheets the two laid on shifting. 

“Anyway...” He wants to dismiss the topic as soon as possible, and he genuinely didn’t want Sakura to be too involved, even if she was at the point she knew too much. It was also about time he start knowing more things about his new one-and-only friend, and not just that she was a hardcore lesbian that was good at biology. 

Love seemed to be the topic that kept them both interested. “Tell me about… your girl problems.” 

—

  
  


Sasuke went home after an hour or two hanging out with Sakura. It was different; spending time with a girl that endlessly talked about girls. She had nicely avoided the topic of Naruto, dragging him down to their living room to play video games and eat snacks. He learned that both her parents were business owners, and their house was huge as it was often where the Harunos, her family, went for family reunions. 

She walked him out to the nearest corner, exchanging hugs and parting ways. It had long stopped raining, and the sun was starting to set. 

“Is that Sasuke?” Sasuke hears as soon as he unlocks the door to his house, taking off his shoes and placing them on the shoe rack. He walks towards the source of the voice, his father, who sat in their dining room. 

The old man was still wearing formal clothing, suit jacket off and tie loosened that indicated he only recently got home. He greets them with a quick wave and an attentive glance to show them he heard. “Sit down right after, we have to talk,” Fugaku says, Sasuke’s mother simply nodding as she pours the contents of the kettle she held over small, navy blue mugs. The two adults seemed to blend in like ornaments of their home, their clean-fit clothes amongst blinding white walls. 

His house felt cold and blue, the modernity of it all stiffening. Nothing like Sakura’s nor Naruto’s, making him fight the urge to  _ escape _ . His family without Itachi brought no warmth, no soothing feelings to him— no feeling of home. 

Sasuke nods, forcing down the shiver that had threatened to shoot up his spine. He climbs up the dark staircase and walks down the hallway that led to his room, hoping that their talk was going to be about him doing wonderful in the competition. 

After changing out of his uniform and leaving his feet bare and cold, he heads his way back to where he was told to go. His parents sat beside each other, placing down the tea they were sipping on as Sasuke entered their vision. He takes a seat in front of them, slowly dragging the chair to not make noise. 

“Sasuke,” his father begins. Mikoto pushes an empty mug towards him and pours tea into it, and Sasuke wraps his fingers around it to warm up. “I don’t know what relationships you’re making…” 

_ It was never going to be about praising him.  _

Sasuke dreads. He could barely fathom the idea of telling his parents he was deep in a one-sided crush with a friend. They knew of what had happened to him and Naruto… That he had confessed… he would be forced away from the blond. Yet part of him wanted the idea to be executed no matter how wrong it felt. 

“… but you need to know that you are forbidden from dating during high school. Let alone in your first year.” He frowns at their words, not bothering to hide his confusing and near-distaste, acting as if he didn’t understand what his father meant. 

“Why are you suddenly saying this?” He asks a little late, already having to jump at conclusions. 

“I saw you earlier leave a girl’s house, Sasuke.” 

“She’s a friend,” he explains, hoping it would end the stupid relationship discussion. God forbid him having opposite-sex friends. But he was gay, anyway, for God’s sake.  _ Gay _ . Though part of him felt if he came out he’d be accepted, another larger, deeper, darker side said that it would only hurt him more. He wonders what the blond idiot would’ve done in Sasuke’s current situation, gay and with the opportunity to out himself. 

But fuck that. Naruto wasn’t gay. What would  _ Sakura _ do? 

“Is that so? Point still stands,” his father says. To him, it didn’t seem like his son was capable of entering romantic relationships, but making sure and nailing it to Sasuke’s head seemed to be the better option. Better safe than sorry. 

Sasuke takes a sip of his tea, eyes still raised up. “Next…” Fugaku turns to look at Mikoto, implying it was her turn to speak.

And she does, feminine voice penetrating the atmosphere. “You’re going to start attending cram school next week. The one by the station.” 

“But Itachi didn’t go…” He tries, knowing what was coming next. His parents were going to create an invisible chart that featured his older brother’s feats compared to his in different stages of life. 

Despite the words being expected, it still hurt, hitting him straight through his chest. “He didn’t need to, Sasuke. You, on the other hand…” A sip of tea. “Your grades are far inferior to his…” His father was always blunt. 

If it were up for Sasuke to judge, his grades weren’t terrible… just smart enough to stay on top but never smart enough to shoot ahead; to get to the next grade. They were  _ good _ . 

Crestfallen, all Sasuke could do was droop his eyes and agree to whatever his parents wanted. Only his own family could truly shatter his pride. Cram school may have been common to the common Japanese society, but his family weren’t considered common Japanese society. They were Uchiha, and no Uchiha ever needed to go for extra school that could be taught in class. They were all geniuses born from geniuses, and he was breaking their chain.

Sasuke nods in acknowledgement, getting up to leave. 

“And one last.” He was stopped yet again. “You’ll be having another overseas trip.” 

“What?!” He tried not to yell, but he failed. Eyes that narrowed at him forced him to control himself. “Again? I just got home from—”

“It will be during summer break. You’ll head back to Singapore and study-  _ study _ -“ His father emphasizes, as if Sasuke wasn’t under pressure enough. “-under your uncle Obito.” 

“I want to spend my birthday here…” This was ignoring Naruto part two, this time he was well aware  _ he _ was in the wrong. Of course, he wanted to get away again, to try and rid of his feelings with the use of distance but it felt stupid and desperate; even if getting over a crush wasn’t the purpose of it. Deep down, he simply didn’t want to be alone. 

Here, in Japan, where he at least had Sakura…

“No worries, your flight is on the next afternoon. You have a day or two to talk to your… friends. By then, celebrate as you wish.” 

Sasuke eternally cries, knowing again he had no say in anything. So little could be done. First term finals were in three weeks and he still had his god awful notes to complete. His life was set in stone. Nothing new could grow from it, no life, no water. Nothing could penetrate the hard surface, only break it. 

Denying dinner, Sasuke was left to wallow in his own… numbness. He sat on his desk, lamp on and the empty pages of his notebook in show when his phone suddenly rang. Mindlessly swiping it on and accepting the call, he sets it to his ears. 

“Hello.” 

“Sasuke—” came a desperate voice. 

He has never ended a call so fast. He slams his phone face down on the desk, snatching a pen from a drawer and scribbling the same contents from Sakura’s notes into his. If he ignored Naruto earlier, he could do the same right now. He still didn’t want to talk, but it now felt like he was never going to. He’s tempted to block the number, but it felt much too petty and he needed to save some dignity. Sighing, he continued to copy words that meant nearly nothing to him. 

It wasn’t long until his phone started to incessantly ring. Flipping it over, he expects it to be Naruto, this time carefully looking at the caller. And Naruto it was. However, he was still not compelled to converse with the boy. So he ignores his phone until it stops ringing so he could turn it off. 

_ Everything felt wrong _ , he let his thoughts wander. Like none of this was meant to happen— him getting a crush, making a friend… It all of a sudden felt like he should be far, far away from here— in Singapore, not only for summer, but forever. 

A few minutes into writing, he blanks out and Sasuke couldn’t help but let his tears shed. Through wet eyes he could see how the salty water had seeped into the pages, blotching the ink. Suddenly everything felt overwhelming… it felt like the world was against him; even if it wasn’t.

He was someone quick to anger, quick to misunderstand… 

He felt as if he was taking his family, friends, opportunities for granted— that he couldn’t handle a little comparison between him and his older, better brother from their parents. That he couldn’t handle his crush and best friend getting in a relationship, in fear of being left alone and stranded. The feeling of being forced to mature quickly, but not enough to suppress emotions. How he knew he was absolutely wrong; that his logical side contradicted his feelings. 

The rain that had begun again only pushed him to cry, to let it out. To pour it all out in cut-off sobs and choking, hugging his shaking shoulders as he rested his head on the table. To try and let go of the negative feelings his young, poor self had kept inside. 

He felt lost, falling into an abysmal pit of inner conflict. 

—

Sasuke was awoken when he felt someone gently nudging his shoulder. Raising his head, he immediately feels how heavy his shoulders were. He was still emotionally chained down and he felt it physically. The crying had done nothing in the end, then he’d fallen asleep and wasted time, he lightly scolded himself. 

On the bright side, a little extra sleep did no harm. 

“You need to move before you’re late.” It was his Mikoto. Her hand never left his shoulder, and with the gentle contact he felt some warmth that soothed him, just barely. “Are you okay?” 

Sunlight was shining past his windows and his notes were already dry. He recoils at the thought of his mother picking up on what he was feeling last night by picking up the context clues: wet notebooks, dead phone, sleeping blanketless on the desk... He tried to open his phone to check the time, but it wouldn’t turn on, likely losing all the remaining battery through the night. He sets it aside, deciding he wouldn’t bring it to school with him. 

Sasuke’s eye twitches, still heavy. He shuts the books on his desk in reply. Fatigued and numb, all he wanted to do was get to his bed and nap, but he could do that after school. He got up, glancing at his mother and muttering a  _ good morning  _ before walking out and into the toilet to freshen up. The longer he stayed, the less time he had to prepare, after all. 

His shower lasted a second, long and thorough enough to relax his muscles and freshen his mind. He moved quickly enough to be able to eat breakfast and enter class five minutes before Iruka-sensei did. Sasuke was greatly lucky that school was only around a mile away. 

Naruto was nowhere to be seen, and it was Sakura who greeted him first, commenting on his damp hair. She whips a comb out, sitting behind him and pulls the hard plastic through his hair. He lets her baby him for a moment. It felt good.

“Dunno,” he shrugs. She looked just as tired as he was, but unlike him, Sakura had more things to do during school hours. “You okay?” 

“I stayed up late. Means I slept late. Watching lesbian porn. And—”

“Gross. Don’t bother,” Sasuke interrupts, his face scrunching up in disgust even if Sakura couldn’t see it. She laughed in reply. 

The last time he’d seen a vagina was when he was reading through an article and it featured sex ads. It was around the same time he concluded he was gay too, and the pixellated version of it was enough to solidify his decision. Thoroughly gagging at the sight of it, he left the site and erased his history. Certainly something he didn’t want to see again. 

He leans back, the back of his head landing on her soft thighs. Sighing as she combs through his hair, he reads the small novel they were required to read for English. He got a chapter done before he felt Sakura pinch his cheeks. 

Originally immersed within the pages, he looks up at her and throws a glare. “What?” 

She continues to massage the soft skin of his face, smiling. “Your skin is really soft. How’d you do it?” 

Realizing he liked the feel of the face massage, he let it happen. “Genes?” It was generally known that the Uchihas were all good looking. He was no exception from it. If Naruto wasn’t always in his space for the long stage of his emotional development, he would’ve probably been crushing on some other dude. Or disobeying his parents by getting in a relationship. Not like he would, though. Naruto was undeservingly just so special. 

Her strong hands relaxed him greatly, heart light in her presence. “You must really be good at taking care of your skin too. Don’t tell me you only use bar soap?” 

“I sometimes use Itachi’s stuff… but I usually just use body soap for everything…” 

She hums, probably in a little disbelief that someone could maintain good skin so easily, but it was Sasuke, so what could she do? 

A moment later Iruka-sensei and Naruto walked in, so she pats his cheeks and shifts in signal that she was about to move. He lifts his head from her thighs, sitting straighter on his chair. She plops on her seat, the one right beside him. 

In the corner of his eye he notices Naruto sourly glancing at him. Just as how whatever emotion Naruto expressed was infectious, he was getting a little sour too. It was again, super dumb, feeling that way against the blond when clearly Naruto had every right to get upset. Naruto starts walking towards him, but to his surprise, the blond was quickly pulled away by Ino.

Naruto frowns, grumpily landing on his seat. Sasuke sighs in relief. He didn’t want Sakura’s soothing ministrations to go to waste so early. 

Sakura elbows him softly while Iruka-sensei calls out the names for attendance. It was usually the class representative’s job, but somehow their teacher was in charge of it today. “Right…” Sakura whispers, as if seeing Naruto had made her remember something. “Stop ignoring Naruto.”

Sasuke threatens the angry pout to come out. The urge cowers. “Why would you say that?” 

“He messaged me,” she sighs. “Then I tried messaging you but you didn’t reply.” 

Before he replies, he raises his hand to indicate he was present just as he hears Iruka-sensei’s call. “I turned my phone off.” 

“Jesus christ, Sasuke.” She slaps a palm to her forehead, clearly tired. 

He crosses his arms, not liking how his now only friend was somewhat going against him. He doesn’t reply, upset, but surprisingly: not getting angry. 

“Don’t be a dick…” Sakura hisses at him, pinching his thigh. He hisses back, crossing his arms and glaring at her. It hurt. “We’re not even close, and he’s coming to me.” 

His glare withers away as it was replaced with a face that expressed guilt. “Sorry. I got you involved.” 

Sakura only rolls her eyes. “It’s too late for that, isn’t it?” Indeed it was. Far, far too late. Sasuke was already depending on her in ways he couldn’t comprehend— he couldn’t imagine how it would be if he hadn’t met her before having that conflict with Naruto. He stays silent, hoping whatever energy he radiated was strong enough to tell her he was thankful. It was hard to put in words when his ego was quick to repair itself. 

Their conversation was bound to end anyway when Iruka-sensei called for Sakura, saying there were announcements to make. She stood up, sparing Sasuke a glance before heading to the front. 

— 

It was lunch, and Sasuke knew what that meant— it was the perfect time for Naruto to talk to him. The only missing variable from the ‘Naruto talks to Sasuke’ equation was… Naruto himself. 

And he remembers… the idiot had a girlfriend. He didn’t miss how the blond had basically bolted out the door once the bell rang. There’s uncomfortable churning in his gut once again, bile rising up, constricting his throat. He tries his best to not squeeze the tomato juice he was gripping— 

“Sasuke! My God, Sasuke!” There was a transparent red leaking down his arm, dripping down onto his slippers and the floor. He feels the liquid on his chest, staining the white summer uniform a bright pink. Sakura smacks the back of his head, her rough hands snatching the small carton from him. He winces, jerking forward at the impact. 

As if the harsh movement could truly mess things up, his thoughts were shaken again, putting thoughts of Naruto in the back of his head. “What?” He nonchalantly says, as if he weren’t a little affected with what dumb shit he just did. 

“You have a stain!” Sakura yells the obvious. “Go clean it In the toilet!” She then orders,, not trusting that Sasuke would get up and do it. When Sasuke doesn’t get up right away, fidgeting on his seat as he balances the juice on his palm, her emerald eyes pierced right into his abyssal ones. “What? You want me to go with you?” 

Well, yes, honestly. There was a chance he could bump into Naruto, and without Sakura protecting him… He wouldn’t be able to escape wisely. But it wasn’t like Sakura could enter the toilet, so what difference would it make? The odds of it happening were low, too— the idiot would be too preoccupied with that dumb girl next door. 

Sighing, he flicks Sakura’s forehead and quickly moves to leave, but he wasn’t fast enough to dodge the heavy hit on his lower back. “Ouch… gay bitch…” he sneered, to which she replied with heavy chortles. 

He walks down the halls as he rubs his back, but just as he turns around the corner he bumps into a hard chest. 

With the lack of height difference, Sasuke immediately saw who it was. 

Naruto, with the same girl he saw the other day—  _ girlfriend _ — clinging onto his arm. They both stared at him with wide eyes, and the uncanny similarity between the two orbs made the short hairs of his skin rise. 

The girl stared at him with such calculating, questioning eyes. Nothing that had matched what he thought of when he first saw the wild orbs: not sympathy, more of amazement and… 

Oh fuck, not like he cared what the girl thought of him. He rolls his eyes at the couple. 

Naruto’s mouth opened in surprise, likely about to talk, but Sasuke had just stepped aside and continued walking. 

_ “Naru?”  _

_ “W-Wait, alright? I need to—”  _

As Sasuke walked, he could hear the first light tapping of plastic progressively getting louder. He enters the toilet, walking right to the end and yanking tissue paper out of the dispenser. He pressed it to the stains as he looked at himself in the mirror. 

Naruto was walking straight to him, he could see from the length of the reflecting material. Again, he feels bubbling up his chest. From nervousness, annoyance, the simple feeling of seeing your crush— or all three, were present. But the room wasn’t clear of people, he couldn’t be careless. “What do you want?” He asks first, talking so cooly despite everything else he was feeling. He praises himself for getting better with shit like that, seemingly overnight. He hopes the blond realizes that Sasuke was maintaining his calm for the sake of their surroundings and does the same. 

Naruto stands right beside him, occupying the sink and washing his hands. “Let me talk to you.” 

Sasuke wets the tissue, then he brings it back to rub and pat on his uniform. “I thought I made myself clear that I don’t want to, Naruto.” 

“Sasuke, we’ve been friends for—” Naruto nearly whines, like a wounded puppy in hopes for comfort. “—for so long… You can’t just…” 

Sasuke’s eyes tremble. Looking at himself once more at the mirror, he decided the stain was nearly invisible. No one would see it unless they took a closer look, and Sasuke wouldn’t care whether they commented on it or not. He throws the tissue straight to the trash, sending a scowl at Naruto’s direction as he makes his move to leave. “Go to your fucking girlfriend. Friends for so long my fucking ass. That doesn’t matter.” 

That seemed to be the last of it for Naruto. He grabbed Sasuke’s wrist and jerked him backwards, a low rumble coming from his chest. Another remake of what happened yesterday, it seems. Only that they were in a cramped space with boys of the same age throwing obvious side-glances at them, and no Sakura. “What is your fucking problem with Hotaru?” 

_ Hotaru was the girl’s name, huh? _ “Who?” He couldn’t help but taunt, snarling. He pulls his arm back successfully this time, rubbing his wrist to enable proper blood flow again. “Don’t answer. I don’t care,” Sasuke says, and usually he would leave at that, but he stays, waiting for the blond’s next words. 

“Do you have a fucking problem with me?” Naruto asks instead. He was full on glaring as he twitched in anger, fists clenched on his sides.

Sasuke snorts, crossing his arms, resting his weight on one foot— and it was one hell of a condescending pose. He eyes Naruto with wild, flaring eyes. “Who would ever have a problem with the perfect, sunny boy?” 

Sasuke doesn’t realize what happens next. A hard fist connecting with his cheek, and his own arms swiftly moving to reciprocate. He and Naruto, rolling on the dirty toilet floor, fighting for dominance. Sasuke straddling the blond’s hips, throwing unrelenting punches to the blond’s face. He feels his knuckles get wet, dark red flashing in his sights as he moves fiercely. Tears running down his face as he quickly loses himself. 

He, getting hauled up and away with an arm around his chest and arms.

Naruto’s blurry frame, being helped to sit up. 

All he hears is static. How can things go to shit so fast? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i'd like to clarify:
> 
> sasuke's type of behavior is toxic af!!  
> SASUKE IS A BITCH! AND IF U HAVE A FRIEND LIKE HIM, CALL THEM OUT! he has a big ego and is unable to act for the better bc. of. his. ego! 
> 
> sorry we jumped into conflict so fast.... i want to establish what issues the characters'll have so i can easily write around it in the end + more happiness between the chapters/ 
> 
> \+ ik the overseas things r kinda weird cos i don't put details into them, but for this next one, i will lol :P
> 
> //
> 
> anyway i really put my past self into sasuke - depressed n anxious, assuming the worst but somehow still having a fat ego... blaming everything on the world and not dealing my terrible mindset... but ding dong no worries i didnt ignore anybody like sasuke and faced my problems no matter how hard n its how i got over it . lol even if my ego still kinda big 
> 
> and goddd i wanna write fluff already,,, maybe just one self indulgent fic........ but......... i need 2 finish this first
> 
> thanks for reading !!!!11!111


	4. Attempted Redemption

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol NS day yesterday
> 
> happy NS day 
> 
> \+ i update every 3 days~~~ 
> 
> gonna sleep now its 12 n i am hungry 
> 
> unedited

_ Since the world didn’t revolve around him— _

“Sorry, granny,” Naruto sheepishly smiles, scratching the back of his head. Sasuke grimaces at how Naruto was so casual with their principal, even if he understood that they were family, but… 

_ “Naruto, Sasuke!” Iruka-sensei had butted in, pushing the crowd of students blocking the path to the toilet, other teachers coming in to disperse the students. He stares at Naruto upon his entrance, but looking down to his left was Sasuke, arms shaking with blood smeared on his fists, tears freely pouring, from his eyes-- at the same time, quickly drying. When he looks back at Naruto, Sasuke assumes Iruka-sensei finally realizes that their class star boy was the one who gave the hits… but what the hell was with the crying?  _

_ Motive shouldn’t be the first thing to look for in a crime scene.  _

_ If their teacher was confused, he wisely decides not to jump into a verbal conclusion right away-- motive shouldn’t be the first thing to look for in a crime scene. He lightly scolds the two boys, caringly muttering for them to get up and follow him, walking towards Naruto, helping him get up as he looked the most put-out. With gentle fingers, Iruka-sensei uses the tissues in the toilet to pat the blood off, and hands the blond a new one for him to prevent further bleeding. He then turned to Sasuke, probably to help him up, but the boy was already on his feet, washing the blood off his hands and splashing his face with the water.  _

_ Sasuke flicks the liquid off his fingers, wiping his hands dry on his trousers. He hopes the cold water depuffs his face a little. Iruka steps away from Naruto, and repeats his earlier instruction. He walks past Sasuke, the two boys trudging right after him. Sasuke makes sure to not look at Naruto, afraid either of them would start another fight.  _

Now, he and Naruto were sitting on two cushioned chairs in front of their principal, after being pulled apart in the toilet. The two of them had ice packs, Naruto nursing another tissue to block the blood dripping out his nose; that was given not too late, but he still clumsily dirtied his white uniform. 

“The two of you are very commendable students, and it’s unfortunate you two will be receiving punishments. But first, any explanations?” Tsunade, their principal asks, her voice steely and serious. She wasn’t good at tolerating fights amongst students, and would even get more wrathful if the reason was ridiculous; and oftentimes it was. Her eyes turn right to Sasuke. “You, Uchiha?” 

Sasuke didn’t have anything to say that made sense— other than blaming it on Naruto— the idiot was the one who started it, after all. But his self-defense was clearly overboard, the blond looking like he’d get tumbled off a rocky hill. He was about to open his mouth to apologize, but Naruto beats him to it. 

“T’was my fault,” Naruto says, words rushed and sounding a little embarrassed. “I started it! I punched him first.” 

Sasuke tries to push down the guilt clawing up his throat. Maybe he should— “No. I provoked him, kocho-sensei,” he corrects before he lets himself live with more unnecessary guilt. It hurt to know that this incident would solidify what his parents thought of him:  _ much inferior to Itachi, his prodigy brother. _ At the same time, as much as he resented and adored the presence of the blond, his logical side told him that dealing with this the wrong way will hurt him harder in the future; so he wasn’t going to dump on the blame on Naruto, but take some temporary knock-back. 

Naruto’s arm swings right in front of his face, a gesture to dismiss him. “Naaaaah,” the blond chuckles, dragging out the word. “He doesn’t know what he’s saying!” 

Sasuke glares at the palm inches from his face, looking rough and large. He brings his own hand up to push it away, ignoring the giddiness he felt from the simple touch. A crush was still a crush. If he kept this same over-consciousness around the idiot— if he kept being  _ around _ the idiot, he was never going to get rid of his feelings. However, it wasn’t the time, so he focuses on the young (granny?) woman in front of him. “I know what I’m saying,” Sasuke growls. 

“No, no he doesn’t! I punched him  _ real _ hard. It just took him a couple of his own hits to give me the same pain, y’know?” Sasuke feels a little annoyed, internally trying to deny that was true. With that, he doesn’t say anything more— it felt like their punishments were already decided, given the rocky expression their principal held. 

He felt ridiculous, continuously being defended by the boy. Jumping on him and hitting him with all his life and letting his emotions loose, Naruto obviously letting him take it all out on him. Maybe he wished it would be enough for Sasuke to stop being so… uptight, but it would never work easily.  _ Sasuke wouldn’t let it.  _

“Clearly you are the one in more pain…” Tsunade retorts, pushing up the glasses that rest down her nose higher. Naruto had jumped up with obvious intention to protest, but their principal only raised her hand up. He sits right down, muttering growly nonsense. “Now, for your punishments…” She pulls a drawer back, pulling out a handbook. She scanned the first few pages, soon flicking through the whole book, “this is an offense.” Usually the head of the school would’ve memorized the whole thing, and usually would Naruto comment on anything he found mildly amusing, but only silence ensued. 

Finally finding the page she was looking for, Sasuke continues to hope that the punishment wouldn’t be that bad. If he had read the handbook like he was advised, maybe this situation would be completely avoided. He would certainly be careful who he talked to, and what they talked about, the next time. 

The feeling of resentment he’d felt towards the blond while punching him earlier had completely dissolved, replaced with cloying discomfort. 

He squirms in his seat, not ready for what was to come. 

“Alright. Since the two of you seem to have an equal part in this fight… the same punishments, of course,” she starts. Sasuke wasn’t surprised at her (current) calmness, being the head of their school and all. “Handwritten apology, homeroom school-cleaning everyday  _ and _ on Saturdays for a month, and a little meeting with your parents.” 

Sasuke doesn’t protest— if anything, he was relieved. Nothing has truly changed; his father would look at him, disappointed, while his mother would only give a look of passiveness and hints of sympathy— just how it usually was when it came to him. The hand written apology and cleaning was easy; tiresome, but he could do it. 

He and Naruto were two sides of a coin. While he didn’t protest, that only meant it was Naruto’s job. 

“No!” Naruto yelled.

Sasuke no longer knew what the idiot was protesting about. The fact that cleaning during Saturdays meant he couldn’t attend his club? Or the fact that his only-loving parents would react mad at first but then proceed to assist him? Maybe he didn’t want to be with Sasuke? He didn’t understand anymore, after Naruto proclaimed multiple times he was going to study hard, for him, himself, for  _ change _ . The efforts were already reflecting in their classroom. Naruto raising his hand faster than Sasuke did in— “My mom  _ cannot _ know about this!” Naruto pleads. 

“Everything you deserve, Naruto. Kushina wouldn’t throw you out.” A little break from formality escapes the principal, a light smirk in her lips. They unconsciously jump into short banter, the principal trying to return to the point of discussion but was only constantly steered away due to Naruto’s easy pickiness. 

With a little space to think…  _ He’s reminded of how they were… of how they are… _

The first time they got a little too close, they could no longer stay too far from each other. Like magnets, they were constantly falling into each other with even little, gentle pushes. Opposites shouldn’t attract— it didn’t make sense. Just what did two completely different things have to attract each other? 

It meant they were always back to back, never truly face to face; and even if they were, they were always forced to do so, and it never lasted long; like a child forcing the same sides to face each other. It may mean that they would always be there for each other, yet it also meant they would never truly understand each other. Sasuke hopes they could do it— to meet in the middle, with equal efforts on both sides, to understand each other— no matter how difficult it was. 

But everything was easier said than done. Sasuke would have to face this one-sided crush on his own, but no way in hell was he going to bring himself to  _ meet in the middle _ to see that Naruto was nowhere close, nowhere near motivated to reciprocate. Either would have to wait to be pulled away by another, stronger, attraction. 

_ It was him who clung into Naruto even when he was clearly getting pulled away.  _

Sasuke’s eyes must’ve looked more blank as they usually were, someone snapping their fingers in front of him. He casually exits the trance world, blinking as he faced ahead once more. 

“My assistant will call your parents in a moment, then whatever happened here will be relayed to your Iruka-sensei. He’ll be talking to you,” she says, sounding as if she had repeated her words. “Understood?”

Sasuke nods, realizing the ice firmly held in his palms was melting through the tissue, tiny droplets leaking down his arm. He simply rubs the liquid on the side of his face, and it evaporates immediately. Naruto mutters a bitter ‘fine’ beside him. 

“Now, get back to class. Any more fighting and the two of you will be suspended, and thirty points off each of your credits,” she says once she accepts their replies. 

Naruto and Sasuke look at each other,, both holding unrecognizable, spine-chilling expressions. 

—

“Alright. I heard about your punishment.” Iruka-sensei crosses his arms, looking down at the two boys. The class was bustling about already, Iruka-sensei being their last teacher for the day. “You have to clean. Sakura will be watching over you two, and she doesn’t neglect her duties. Even with friends.” 

Naruto was oddly quiet, a cloud threatening to pour following him wherever he trudged. It had been like that since their discussion with the principal. Though he had instantly reverted back to his normal self when he entered the class, all rainbows and sunshine— it was this gloom now that bothered him— Naruto’s simple change of expression made the class forget so quickly, and only Sakura had bothered him for details. . 

He gave a vague explanation, finding nothing worth explaining. Sakura then quickly dropped the topic, likely unbelieving, but trusting Sasuke that whenever he truly needed to express his feelings, he would. And it wasn’t then, so she’d wait. 

“Okay,” Sasuke acknowledges, leaving his teacher and Naruto behind to ask for the broom the current students in charge of cleaning probably held. Sweeping the floor was easiest, as no one seemed to bother him while he did so— just occasional requests to clean in certain spots that he may have missed. 

Naruto cleans on the other side of the class, leaving Sasuke with the assumption of the other finally giving up on him. He didn’t know what to feel about it, relief… disappointment… he decided he just wouldn’t  _ feel _ in the moment. 

When he’s done his fair share of cleaning, he gives Sakura a quick bye and heads out, regretfully sparing a glance at Naruto, who sensed it right away. The eyes shone bright, powerful blues, yet it screamed distress and wild confusion— but the face the orbs laid on altogether showed indifference. He brushes it off; if Naruto wanted to tell him something… that wasn’t the way, if he ever decided to listen. 

Sasuke then walks to his cram school, letting his thoughts trail back and forth from the street and Naruto. The blond’s kindness, empathy, his vain attempt in preventing Sasuke from inevitable punishment. 

Cram school was just like normal school, with long glances and nervous girls were thrown his way, to all he ignored. The bruise on his cheek didn’t seem to phase them. He was soon pleasantly surprised with the approach they took to teach the students. Straightforward, with no spoon feeding. Maybe if school was normally like how cram school was… he wouldn’t be the Uchiha’s black sheep, or someone slowly falling into Naruto’s shadow while being chest deep into Itachi’s. 

With a new stock of knowledge in his brain, he heads home, umbrella hanging high above his head to stay safe from rain that had begun while he was indoors.

As school was only a little further from his home, it wasn’t an extensive walk, and he felt it would strengthen his legs after a while— his attempt to be positive. Getting home was easy, too. All he had to do was retrace his steps and take an opposite turn and walk ahead, nothing complicated. It didn’t seem too bad, even if the reason he was attending was much to his parent’s disdain. 

The grey has seeped once again into his nerves, obstructing his thoughts and sending his feelings all over the place.

He realizes he wasn’t as confident as he was earlier. Maybe a little nervous? He knew he wasn’t going to get hit, but he was never ready for the shit he was going to receive, no matter how many negative outcomes he created in his head; some of which were worse than what actually happened. 

He subconsciously walks slower, the common feeling of a teenager not wanting to go home in fear of getting reprimanded. It does nothing— his home wasn’t far, after all, and every slow step he took gave more time for dirty rain water to bleed into his leather.

He was greeted by Itachi at the door, a soft smile that rested on his face. 

“Got in trouble, little brother?” He asks amusedly and steps out of the way, giving space for Sasuke to enter.

Sasuke scowls, gripping the sleeve of his bag tightly. Either his mother spread the news, or the purpling reds on his cheek said enough. Possibly both. 

Sasuke steps in the house, dropping his umbrella by the door to let it drip and dry. “What do you want?” 

Itachi ignores him. “Mother told me you got into a fight with Naruto, half happy that you finally got in trouble, but half-upset it was for a very, bad, and surprising reason.” He trails after Sasuke, even as he heads upstairs. Happy for him getting into shit? It sounded far-fetched and flat-out bullshit. The Uchihas were far from that. 

“She’s taking a shower right now, but you need to face her later, and father isn’t here yet…” he stops at the start of the hall, right above the stairs. He rests one hand on the railing, eyeing Sasuke carefully. “Then I need to talk to you,” Itachi calls out, and Sasuke enters his room and shuts the door behind him. 

_ Okay, prodigy brother.  _

Sasuke lets out a sigh, dumping his bag beside the foot of his bed. He tiredly plops on his mattress, letting himself sink into the soft, cold sheets. He was going to get mad at his dirty, rain stained self for doing this later. 

It takes a while to register that he’d fallen asleep when someone softly knocks on his door. He flinches as he roughly wipes the drool off the side of his mouth, the numbing pain stinging through his jaw. The area had evidently been affected as well. 

He gets off his bed, weakly opening the door.

“Mother,” he greets. He looks down to see a small med kit tucked underneath her arm. 

They’re eye to eye again, and there’s worry in the dark eyes of hers, her hair wet and skin glistening, evidence of a recent shower. “Can I come in?” She asks, a gentle smile forming in her face. 

Sasuke steps back, letting her enter the room. She walks right to his bed to sit down, placing the white box on her lap; patting beside her, silently telling Sasuke to sit. She frowns when he does indeed sit on the bed, but a meter away from her. 

“Come closer, Sasuke.” 

He scoots closer, obviously uncomfortable. Immediately her hand reaches up to stroke his hair, carefully removing the knots that had formed. To him, the physical closeness felt distant, but his heart only told him he wanted it— not calming but readying his nerves for what was to come. He couldn’t help but feel suspicious.

“I’m not mad,” she says, dropping her hand to grab for the box on her lap. __

_ Things will never be as bad as they seem _ , she once told him— proving the same statement with her actions now. Sasuke hoped he carried the sentiment wherever he went, but his skepticism and natural… dickiness, made genuine positivity difficult. That was the last of their one-sided conversation, the rest of the time spent together with motherly affection and tending touches. 

“Finally approaching your rebellious stage, huh?” Itachi enters the room a few minutes after his short mother-son bonding, Sasuke already changed into a cotton tee and drawstring pants with earthly colors. He tucks himself into bed, leaving his lamp on to show even a little bit of room hospitality. He faces away from his older brother. 

The bed dips as Itachi sits on the edge, grabbing one of the novels that sat on the desk. Sasuke can hear the flicking of paper as his brother flips through it. “Anything wrong with you and Naruto?” 

All of the sudden, Sasuke is filled to the brim with annoyance, not wanting stupid wise-talk from his  _ oh so wise _ brother. He doesn’t say anything, hoping the unwanted guest would realize they were unwanted. “I talked to him when you left.” 

“ _ What? _ ” Sasuke snarls, fighting the impulse to flip around and glare at his brother. He glares at the window in front of him instead. 

Itachi continues. “Funny boy, isn’t he?” 

“What are you saying?” 

“You two have so much in common,” Itachi chuckles. The hardcover book thumps against the wood as he drops it back to its rightful place. 

“We’re nothing alike.” Sasuke snapped. “Stop it.” 

Itachi flexes his arms to stretch, and Sasuke can see it with the shadows that moved across his room. “It means you’re funny too.” 

_ What in the fuck? _ Sasuke couldn’t fathom the idea of him being  _ funny _ . It was almost condescending, in a way. But he knew what Itachi found funny were humanely mistakes, a lot of which he never made, and he probably likes Sasuke being even the slightest bit expressive. 

“Contradicting your words with your actions, Sasuke. That’s what the two of you are so good at,” he calmly replies, tapping Sasuke on the shoulder. The touch tickles him enough to push him to move. 

Sasuke sits up, fisting his blanket as he faces Itachi. His annoyance simmers down to bewilderment and uncertainty. “You are so damn confusing!” 

Itachi’s face assures him nothing but brotherly love. “Sasuke Uchiha,” he whispers, a joking tone in his voice; Sasuke wonders if he imagined it. Then, he breaks into a smile, “I only wish the best for you.” 

Sasuke scrunches his face and lifts an eyebrow. “What the fuck?” Now he was just being grossly cheesy. 

Itachi laughs, lightly clutching his stomach as if something was so hilarious. He wipes a tear off that formed in the corner of his eye, drooping his eyes and letting an air of seriousness form in the room. “You need to learn that the world doesn’t revolve around you, Sasuke,” he says. “You need to learn it quickly, before you miss any more chances. Before you… rue.” 

Even with so much context missing with what Itachi’s said, he carves it to his mental note pad, cursing his brother for being so convincing. Every mildly serious talk he’s had with Itachi, he always somehow made use of in the future. He figured these were things that have been tossed around the internet, but whatever came out that cursed mouth was sincerity and words that oozed of personal experience and great dignity. 

Everytime his brother spoke, the words would take a healthy chunk of his ego away. Just as it did now. 

Sasuke knew that he was  _ trying _ , and despite not wanting to be alone, this felt like something he couldn’t share, wouldn’t want to share. 

_ “Friendship is about emotional vulnerability, _ ” he’d wistfully said to Naruto. It was difficult, practicing what you were preaching, the underlying feeling of embarrassment overcoming him at the thought of ever talking about self-improvement. He felt immature, in the presence of his ridiculously mature brother. 

He slumped back on his pillows, and Itachi took that as his cue to leave, turning off the lamp and shutting the door behind him.

—

Rather than a family meeting taking place, his mother had replied to the call right away, saying she would take care of him. What was there to do, anyway? 

—

“Alright, boys,” Iruka-sensei twists from his seat in the teacher’s room, to look at the two. Naruto was yet again, dragging this cloud of gloom with him, and the worry he felt was starting to piss Sasuke off. “You’ll help the gardening club today, spreading the soil and planting the seeds. Whatever they ask for,” Iruka-sensei smiles, perhaps not noticing what the boy beside him was feeling. “Understood?” 

Early in the morning of a surprisingly sunny Saturday, only silence followed the two as they made their way to the greenhouse, to which Sasuke was grateful for— it made sure that he didn’t fret for Naruto himself. It also meant that he didn’t feel his crush-influenced emotions, it being cancelled out with the platonic worry he felt towards the blond; that he shouldn’t have carried, them being _ ex-friends.  _

His feelings for the boy were as strong as they’ve always been before whatever happened; but Sasuke was going to try and end it as soon as possible. 

To his surprise, or, not really, considering Sakura liked biology— he was greeted by her as they approached the greenhouse. He truly needed to know more about what things this girl participated in. 

“Hey!” She grinned, placing her gloved hands on her hips. “Good morning to you too, Sasuke~” 

Paying no attention to the mood the two carried, she gave them orders on what to do. He silently thanked her for giving them two completely different tasks, both challenging in a way that simple distractions would waste too much time. It wasn’t before long that Sakura had approached him, copying what he was doing, but on another patch. 

“Are you going to tell me?” 

“No,” he simply said, trying to focus on the task before him. All he had to do was replant some tomatoes, but as he spoke the soil was crumbling off his hands. 

“Not now, you mean.” Sakura shrugs, inspecting a tomato that she held between her thumb and her index finger. “The cooking club has some of our tomatoes. Fresh and harvested today,” and Sasuke remembers the fruitless plants his eyes trailed over as they entered the area. They must’ve been up early, already having harvested the plants. "And they provide lunch with the plants we give 'em,” she adds. 

“Sure.” Sasuke doesn’t take his eyes away from his actions. Sakura expertly gets done with the patch, leaving Sasuke to realize once again; that he wasn’t always going to be at the top of everything. 

A few hours later, Sasuke walks beside Sakura as they head to wherever the cooking club was. Apparently their school was large enough for two kitchens, one for  _ only _ the cooking club and one for the student's livelihood subject. He had gotten lost, confused as to why the doors were locked and had to pitifully go back to the greenhouse to ask for Sakura’s assistance. 

Sakura giggles after hearing Sasuke’s stomach grumble, and he’s dreadfully reminded that his overestimation had messed him up again, regretfully deciding not to bring lunch. 

Upon entering the kitchen, he’s hit with suffocating humidity but comforted with the inviting smell of  _ food _ . Sakura walks ahead and maneuvers to the large island in the middle of the room. She pulls out a stool and sits on one of them, and Sasuke sits beside her. 

One of the club members enters, the girl carrying alarming familiarity with her light brown hair and green eyes. She smiles at the two of them, the beam not faltering even as she spots him. Only he was surprised. 

“Hi, Hotaru!” Sakura exclaimed, her fists punching the marble top in excitement. 

Hotaru,  _ the girlfriend _ , grins at her. Uneasiness crawls up Sasuke’s legs, and he can't figure out why. 

She places down two dishes, one with large slices of cooked tomato and another with flecks of fruity red. “Caprese quiche,” she says, pointing to the larger, cake-sized yellow dominated food; it was the one with the large tomato slices. “And spinach and tomato frittata,” referring to the similarly large one, also cake-like. 

His hunger distracts him from her meekness and awkward movements when she moves to slice up the two cakes in eights and splits them up on plates. She pushes the plates to the two gardeners, offering them plastic forks. He’s delighted to find out the food was indeed, as delicious as it had smelled. 

—

Sasuke speed walked, taking a detour to the toilet, hoping the blond wouldn’t follow him. But Naruto must’ve taken his speed walking as a challenge, copying him and sneaking into the toilet as well. 

Sasuke enters a stall, not really wanting to take a leak, but he might as well do it now. Maybe this would reduce the liquid in his body and make him less prone to crying in the future. 

As he does it; this was one of the times he gave Naruto an internal  _ thank you _ since his trip abroad. He had turned on the faucet to wash his hand, blocking out the chance the noise from his actions would’ve been amplified. 

He quickly takes it back when Naruto starts to speak.

“I’m sorry,” Naruto says, turning the faucet off. Based on the sounds, Naruto was squeezing liquid soap into his hands and washing them. “I just wanted to talk to you… and…” 

Sasuke pulls his pants back up, buckling up and shutting the toilet lid and flushing. He exits the stall to see Naruto, bloody shirt and all- scrubbing his hands as thoroughly as he could. Sasuke was starting to feel sentimental again, but his hasty movements and thoughts to  _ run away _ stopped him from thinking too much. He washes his hands on the sink the furthest away from the blond— passing by him was easier than standing near him. 

Naruto continues to speak. “I don’t know… I swear I’ll do things differently this time… Just tell me where I’m wrong, please.” He breathes. “Just… Anything,  _ please,  _ Sasuke.” 

It was a week of hard, hard cold indignation that Naruto was forced to face. Both of them felt like Sasuke’s bitterness lasted years, and it was taking a negative toll on both of them. 

Oh, god, no. It was rare when Naruto spoke like this… desperate, and soft— more like he’s never heard the boy speak in such a way— he couldn’t take Naruto blaming himself when he knew that it was his fault. But what exactly was his fault, anyway? The way he was acting? Why was he even acting that way? All he knew was that it stemmed from Naruto, but even now… he couldn’t point out what exactly the blond had done that bothered him. 

His fault for getting a crush? It wasn’t like that before. Even now; he certainly felt distant, but not angered, enraged… unlike the times he faced Naruto during lunch the first school day he returned, or under the rain that afternoon, or any time before when he was  _ alone _ with Naruto. 

He tried searching his memories, to find that consistent factor that had him so bothered—

_ “Naru!” Naruto entered the kitchen, eyes landing on Sasuke, then his girlfriend. _

_ Bright, deep green eyes that almost rivaled Sakura’s.  _

_ Suddenly Sasuke didn’t feel as hungry as he was, the ravenous feeling, kicked away. At least he’s eaten a slice of the quiche. He could… eat a frittata another day _ —  _ his excitement brutally killed.  _

_ He abruptly stood up, the stool screeching at the force. It thankfully doesn’t topple over. “I’ve something to do,” Sasuke explains, pushing his plate of unfinished quiche to Sakura’s direction. “And, uh… I forgot my phone on the bench— at the greenhouse.” There was an edge to Sasuke’s voice, the underlying irkedness permeating into the hot room the many of them stood in.  _

_ “Sasuke, finish your—” Sakura tries, moving to stand but struggles, her thighs hooked under the protruding sides of the island.  _

_ “Thanks, Sakura,” he manages, and he walks right out the white, metal, double doors. His eyes flicker at the couple, both looking at him in shock. Hotaru’s hands were the blond’s forearms. The glance was all it took for Naruto to struggle off his girlfriend’s hold.  _

Of course, it was the damn  _ girlfriend _ . He sidetracks for a moment if Sakura had noticed anything, and decided not to tell him. 

He can’t be jealous of some girl. Some dumb girl… Fuck, no, to Sasuke, Naruto was dumb, and he was only this way because Naruto was leading him on— he vividly remembers the time he said he didn’t like the blond anymore. Convincing himself that it was a simple, short, springtime-cherry blossom crush, the thought barely lasting a day. 

He was in deep denial. Everything be damned! If he wanted to get rid of this crush, staying far away from said person would be the best way, right? Not like he could just tell him to break up with her. The discomfort he experienced when the two of them stood beside each other was indisputable. 

He didn’t care there was time, and another way of fixing this. He could end this now. He didn’t care… that this was just his first week from coming home. Naruto was hurting him, and he was hurting Naruto.  _ They weren’t meant to to be; not meant to face each other and endure pain, just for the sake of it.  _

Preventing his thoughts from escaping through his mouth, he lifts his head up to look and turns his body at Naruto, trying to muster a face that made him look as sincere as possible, one final time.

Naruto looked like he was on the verge of bursting, but nevertheless patiently waited for whatever Sasuke had to say. 

_ Didn’t it make sense to get rid of whatever that world was? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~ i read all comments :D i just kinda dk what to reply lols
> 
> anyway im excited to write sasuke's redemption arc kinda
> 
> //kinda wanna write a fantasy au 🥸🥸 but it means more brain power and inventing mf potions n shit 
> 
> thanks for reading!


	5. Moving Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FUCK I RUSHED THE PLOT FOR THIS ONE SORRY
> 
> gonna ignore the comments for this one 💖 this chapter is fucking ASS

There were only three weeks more of punishment, and another two for exams. Then, it would be summer ‘break’.

Sasuke hasn’t come in contact with Naruto since their _final_ _talk_. No bumping into each other in hallways, no meeting eyes in the classroom, and none of Naruto even looking at his general direction. It was what he wanted, it was what he told Naruto. 

That they had to end whatever relationship they had, that they were only hurting each other. The unknown disease that came by surprise, no explanation— the disease that killed a friendship had infected the two of them. This was why opposites attracting  _ don’t make sense _ . 

What suited the two of them more was not them being magnets, but opposite forces who’ve only met in coincidence, whose only purpose was to get rid of the other. 

It was what suited them; but it was never what they were  _ meant _ to be. It was a shock that they’d manage to stick together for so long, 

It was his second Saturday, and after getting this day done it meant that there were only two more to go. He’d gotten up as early as possible to avoid the blond (which was probably useless, considering Iruka-sensei and Naruto basically came in at the same time), in plans of talking to Iruka-sensei and getting his task. Now that he knew his plan was futile, he went right ahead to the greenhouse for Sakura.

Instead of seeing Sakura, he sees the familiar head of gold, unruly hair. Something ticks off in his heart— his heartstrings pulling in emotional distress— but it wasn’t something hard to hide. His face doesn’t flinch. 

Sasuke decides to sit right at the bench outside, quick enough for the blond not to notice, completely forgetting that it also meant Sasuke had seen him first; and deciding to sit outside like he was in already in the area was stupid all in all. Not like he could think well with inner conflicts. It was an attempt in confusing Naruto, just to save his pride. 

Sasuke sets his spine straight as he sits on the bench, staying attentive with plans to bolt right up once he sees even a hint of pink hair. What he doesn’t expect, however, is Naruto opening the glass doors to walk outside. There’s no creaking, but a gust of wind comes at the perfect time, and Sasuke jolts even straighter. 

He looks to his right, and there he was, his… _ ex-friend _ , looking the same as the last time he saw him this close. With the same gloomy blue eyes, forming eyebags, and a sad, sad— indifferent— look on his face. Sasuke bitterly stares right back, his inner self in shambles; this shouldn’t be happening. 

“Uh…” Naruto mumbles, eyes unchanging. His voice was deep, nearly unwell and the sound of it makes the contents of Sasuke’s stomach churn. “I—”

“I thought I said I didn’t want to talk to you?” He spits out, not thinking twice. Nothing was going to change if they couldn’t even keep a full week away from each other. 

“No.” Naruto says firmly, a hint of steeliness in his voice. He sounded almost annoyed, the latter being overruled by the glare that threatened to show on the blond’s face. “I need to get the soil bags under the bench you’re sitting on, ass— Sasuke.” 

Embarrassment boils somewhere in the pit of Sasuke's stomach, his shoulders stiffening. Maybe he should’ve checked if Iruka-sensei was already there, instead of stupidly jumping into conclusions that may have not fit in his favor; but gave him enough motivation to move. He gets up, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. 

Just as God was about to abandon him, Sakura enters the scene with a bright smile on her face. It was a morning-student thing. 

“Naruto, go help Kiba with the gym,” she calls out as he walks to stand between the two. Given the situation the two were in, Naruto thankfully doesn’t ask questions. He would’ve complained if they were still friends:  _ ‘I want to be with Sasuke!’  _ But, they weren’t, not even looking at Sasuke from that point. 

Naruto arranges the tacky fanny pack that laid across his chest, nodding and walking away towards the direction of the gym. The two wait for him to disappear before another wave of words are to be exchanged. 

“You guys are so annoying,” Sakura frowns, pulling the sling bag over her arms and dropping it on the bench. “He obviously still cares about you, dummy.” 

Sasuke drops his bag once again, not bothering to pull any expressions on his face. “That’s why I ended it.” 

“But  _ you _ obviously care, too,” she insists. She looks at Sasuke with care in her face. “I just… don’t want you to feel that way, okay?” 

His eyes soften at her, her easiness washing over him. “Soon, I won’t,” he says after a while. It had been the most confident thing he’s said for the day— even if part of him said no, it’s never going to be like that so easily.

Not when he and Naruto were on the verge of falling into pits of depression and spiraling emotional instability. He was sure anyone could tell that they were messed up, tired, lost and pit-eyed. Yet he was so fucking convinced that this was the best solution to their— rather,  _ his _ — plight. Talking always worked, he was told, but not when…  _ he _ had to do it. 

It was hard to acknowledge he was the root of his problems, not when there was so much that made sense to blame. 

_ Didn’t it make sense to get rid of whatever that world was? _

_ “We… I…” Sasuke didn’t know where to start. He shouldn’t have even ever started… Naruto looked like he was on the verge of bursting, but nevertheless patiently waited for whatever Sasuke had to say.  _

_ Minutes were passing by and Sasuke still couldn’t put his words together. He couldn’t put them together without hurting himself, his ego, without possibly making things worse.  _

_ Worse for what? What change would it make, keeping this type of atmosphere up? He should never have fallen for Naruto, never have let himself open and vulnerable from the start.  _

_ “Leave me alone,” Sasuke stares right at Naruto’s soul. “For the rest of our lives, leave me alone… as best as you— as best as we can…” Just as much as Naruto’s heart was breaking _ —  _ if it was— it showed on his face.  _

_ Sasuke sighs, as if we weren’t a bit hurt nor affected. It was a patronizing act that would have spurred Naruto into boisterous anger if he didn’t know that it would only push Sasuke away. “I don’t want to talk to you, ever. Unless absolutely necessary, unless—” _

_ “Why?” Naruto’s voice quivers. “What did I do?” He continues, stepping closer towards the poor, weak raven in front of him. He holds his hands out and makes a grab for Sasuke’s arms before the boy can dodge them. “This isn’t fair, Sasuke…” Anger evident in his voice.  _

_ But Sasuke doesn’t falter.  _

It felt right at the time. In the past, his pre-teen self would consider those who get into relationship problems cool,  _ mature _ — sometimes stupid and love-sick. Now that he was experiencing it, however, he felt like trash. Weak, pathetic, disgraceful trash. 

“Really?” Sakura cocks her head to the side, pulling out gloves from her pocket and putting them on. “Sasuke, your… your, uh, situation feels so… so unavoi—” she stops herself, but not enough for Sasuke to not understand. 

_ Unavoidable _ . The word lingers for a moment, as if it were so absurd.

“— sorry, no, fictional. It all feels so fake.” It was obvious Sakura was trying her best to empathize, despite the situation seeming so ludicrous. “But it’s all happening. All here…” 

She hands Sasuke his own pair of gloves; unlike last time where he got his hands dirty. He slips them on, following Sakura into the greenhouse. “Fictional? That’s a weird way of putting it, Sakura.” 

“But it’s exactly how you guys are,” she gives a sad chuckle. “Oh, shit. Forgot the soil out there. Grab the tomato seeds at the back,” Sakura orders, already moving to walk outside. He sets to move around the plants, letting himself indulge in the serenity of it all, even just for a few seconds. 

She comes back with the bag hugged to her arms, soil spilling from its edges. She dumps it right on the patch in front of her, just as Sasuke finds a ziplock bag filled with mushy, dirty red cores labelled  _ tomatoes _ . He picks it up, going to stand beside the girl. 

“What do you mean, ‘exactly how we are’?” 

Sakura hums as she rips open the bag, tipping the new soil onto the patch. “Just, one guy getting jealous of another guy getting a girlfriend, you—”

“ _ Jealous _ ,” Sasuke repeats the word in disgust. He assumed he was jealous too, but hearing it from someone else truly felt different. “Who says I’m  _ jealous? _ ” 

“No one is,” Sakura rolls her eyes, crouching down to spread the soil. “You’re only acting like it.” 

Sasuke’s face is overcome with a frown, and he tosses the plastic bag on the dirt. “Then why hasn’t he approached me about it yet? Naruto wouldn’t hesitate about something like that.’ 

And it was true. When Naruto had something he wanted, there weren’t many things to stop him from at least attempting to get it, no matter how insane the procedure was— it was the same for things that bothered the boy. He’d be vocal about it! Why was this so different?  _ Why was he depending on Naruto to realize?  _

“Isn’t it obvious?” Sakura says, speaking in an ‘ _ are you serious’ _ tone. “He’s dense as hell.” 

“Why don’t you tell him, then?” There Sasuke went again; depending, depending, depending. Depending on others to fix his problems for him, letting himself use the excuse of ‘teenage hormones’ when he was clearly dealing with someone who had said teenage hormones too. It wasn’t fair. 

_ But he was Sasuke. _ There was only so much his little, poor heart could do. 

“Naruto and I aren’t close, Sasuke. And this is for you to fix, right? I know you know.” 

Sasuke doesn’t reply, watching Sakura toy with the soil as she wished. He stayed silent, diving into his own thoughts and vulnerability, until there came the gentle pitter patters of rain. 

—

  
  


“Well, that’s it for farming today!” Sakura claps her hands with her arms outstretched, the soil that had stuck to it falling like dust. Sasuke does the same with his gloves, taking them off and handing them back to their rightful owner. 

Sasuke eyes his watch. “It’s just twelve.” 

“Yeah. We’re not done, just done with farming,” she clarifies, removing her own gloves and dumping the two pairs into a plastic bag. 

All they had done was evenly spread out the soil amongst multiple patches, filling the empty spaces as evenly as they could with the tomato cores. Planting, basically. It had taken them around two hours given the size of each patch. 

“It’s raining. What are we going to do?” 

“The cooking club is going to provide us with lunch, again,” Sakura says slowly, as if not to scare Sasuke. “But, this time, we have to help them with some cleaning and decluttering.” 

“No thanks.” Sasuke didn’t want to see Naruto again. If he were to look at the blond, meet eye to eye again, the two of them would only get mad at each other. Then he would get pissy and want to run out. “I brought lunch this time.” 

Sasuke looks indignantly at him. “But you still have to help. Iruka-sensei personally put you in my care.” 

“Are you serious? He trusts you that much?” 

“I bet Naruto told him to, like, be separated from you.” She shrugs, taking her bag and slinging it over her torso— when the rain had started once more, he was quickly ordered to take their bags in. 

“Why was he in the greenhouse, then?” If only Sakura’s job was to drag him around, why was Naruto where they were supposed to work? He didn’t want to assume it was just the blond waiting there to talk to him again, especially after he had only glared at him. 

“Dunno. Apparently he didn’t go with Iruka-sensei today, so I had to relay the message,” she explains as she looks up, watching the rain trickle down the triangular glass ceiling. “Fuck, did you bring an umbrella?” 

Sasuke snakes his arm behind him to reach for his pocket, grabbing the folded umbrella. He stands at the edge of the open glass door and with a flick of a button, the plastic bat-winged protection opens and shields him from the rain. He steps outside, holding the umbrella over him. Sakura walks right under, and they walk side by side until they come under the protective sheds surrounding the school. 

“You know where it is now, right?” Sakura muses, and he flicks the umbrella open and close to let some of the rain drip. “Wait, don’t dry that yet.” 

“Why?” Sasuke was about to fold his umbrella back close. 

“Gotta check on Naruto and Kiba— and don’t worry, I won’t be inviting them,” she added, after seeing Sasuke’s slight squirming. Sasuke hands her the umbrella, quickly moving to turn away. He hears her laughter call out after him, the sound of it fading as he walks further away. 

After a few twists and turns in the hallways, he spots the familiar double doors. Sasuke pushes through them, this time surprisingly not getting hit by any heat. It wasn’t quiet in the least, but no one was near the island, so he made his way around a wall. 

There, a few students stood, clattering around. He was hugging the wall as he silently watched when someone placed a hand on his shoulder. 

A warm, small hand. 

He turns around to see who it was. “Hi, Sasuke.” 

“H… Hotaru,” he nearly chokes on his words. Looking at the girl up close, he was a little proud of Naruto managing to bag someone so… nice looking. 

“Uh,” there was a look of hesitance in her eyes as she dropped her hand off his shoulder. “You’ll be helping me, not them,” she says. She leaves for Sasuke to follow her to the other side of the kitchen. 

The corner they were in had a few boxes left and right, most on the floor. There were plates on piles of newspapers, and shiny utensils spread across the counter. Sasuke waits for her instructions. 

“We’re just going to unpack,” she smiles, opening up the newspapers to reveal more plates. “Got a bunch of new plates cos’ some of the seniors were messing around. About time, anyway. I basically recognize all the different shades of white.” 

Sasuke doesn’t respond, opening a box and lifting the newspaper-covered plates to rest them on the counter. He gets to work, eyes fixed, ready to tear off the paper when he hears Hotaru speak again. “Don’t tear the paper, please. We might use them in the future.” 

Sasuke only nods, gently unwrapping them instead and placing the plates near the wall. He could tell the school was intent on helping with the environment, seeing how they’d actually use the three R’s. Keeping the sentiment, he folds the newspapers as well, piling them every once in a while and dumping them back into the box. Sasuke does this for another three boxes, until the counters were undeniably out of space, filled with silvers and ceramics. He looks at Hotaru expectantly. 

The girl was on her fourth box as well, pushing them out of the way. “Now we need to arrange them up there.” She points at the cabinets that hung quite high above the counter, and he assumes that he was needed purely because of his height. “Just the plates,” she adds, and gets to work with collecting the utensils and organizing them within the lower drawers.

“Uh, Sasuke…” Hotaru speaks amidst the clattering of her silvers after a while. Sasuke was about to reach up to place the plates, but he realized that the cabinet was already full. He slides to his side to open another half empty cabinet, anticipating her next words. “I heard you and Naruto were… uh, fighting…” 

“We’re not,” he quickly denies. He flounders as he makes another grab for the plates he had dragged closer to him. The awkward atmosphere they had been breathing in instantly disperses, replaced with a pressure filled air, as if a volcano were threatening to burst. Her confronting him seemed out of line, but it didn’t seem she was scared the slightest; like she’d done this often. 

“It doesn’t seem that way.” Even without looking at her, Sasuke could sense a frown on her face. The clattering slows down, and Sasuke suspiciously looks over his shoulder. She sat there, looking at him with fierce, fierce eyes. “You’re hurting him.” 

A harsh tremor runs through his whole body, nearly causing him to drop the delicate ware on his hand. He slowly places it down. “What do  _ you _ know?” 

The frown on her face slips away. “That you’re hurting too!” She perks up, smacking the shiny pack of metal on the table. If it were anywhere else, he would’ve but in, but the next words shut him right up. “Stop being selfish, dumbass! He won’t even talk to me now!” 

“What do I care? You guys are in a relationship- handle it yourselves!” Sasuke couldn’t help but raise his voice, even a little, as well. He was trying his best to stay away from the stupid blond— if only everyone else would  _ cooperate _ . She brings her hands to her face, hiding and smothering against her palm. 

_ She was suddenly crying _ , and he didn’t understand why. It suggested more of anger than sadness. Where was Sakura? Sasuke couldn’t handle anyone crying, not even himself. This all felt set up, aligned just for him to suffer more and more.  _ Why couldn’t things just be simple?  _

“We were only together for a week… or less,” she spat out, the grey rainy light from outside making her flushing light purples and skin blue. “And I don’t really mind, since he told me it was just some… I don’t know,” she breathes. 

“I didn’t like you at first… you never interacted with people other than Naruto and Sakura, and I really… didn’t understand, and I still don’t understand now.” The anger was now truly evident in her tone. “Can you imagine your first boyfriend only talking about a guy so…  _ eccentric _ , again and again? When it isn’t about me talking about me, it’s him talking about you!

“I know you’re amazing, Sasuke— Naruto convinced me enough— but I’m seriously starting to doubt it! We broke up, properly, and nicely… but now he won’t look me in the eye! And I see  _ you _ hurting, and it fucking confuses me! He left me for a guy, only to get hurt?” 

Sasuke was speechless, contemplating on believing her or not. “Honestly, yes, it isn’t even supposed to be my business anymore, but I don’t like to see him hurting, not with you, at least!” She continues. “He’s a dumbass, too, 

He didn’t like the idea of more people, other than him, hurting because of his actions. He had thought that Naruto had feelings just like weather, ready to come and go anytime, never lasting long. Forgiving and not grudge holding, forgetting and accepting the next day. 

He’s come to realize that  _ no _ , Naruto wasn’t that much of a simple person. Not when Naruto was clearly upset with him this morning, not when you have his ex yelling at you like you were the ultimate scum of the earth. 

“You’re right, it isn’t your business,” he still scowls, pointing an accusing finger at her. “You don’t know a thing about me, and here you are spouting all this shit!”

A moment passes and he brings it down. “I just know you’re hurting— and so is he.” She scrambles around the counter to stomp towards him. The tears had stopped, drying on her cheeks like a matte coat. Face to face, only two feet away, she glares. “Fix it while there’s time, you fucking asswipe,” she snarls, the sound much more fierce than Sasuke could ever muster, her old meekness hidden by vicious emotion. 

Hotaru snatches the plates he’d slidden away. “Go home for today. You’ve done enough.” 

It was only twelve thirty, thirty minutes from going home, so Sasuke hesitates a little, staring back at her glaring eyes to search for understanding. All she had rightfully forced down his throat that afternoon were observations… truthful, unbiased, observations. 

The moment her eyes softened, he yanked his backpack off the floor and started walking away. He paid no mind to the silent, wide-eyed club members that sat around the island. 

He walked home in the rain, already thinking of his next, proper move. The same girl that was making him feel like shit made him feel as if there was a prospect of reconciliation. He was lucky all of his family had other outside things to do. 

—

To say the least, he didn’t want to pay the rest of his punishment. Another two days with Hotaru would only burn him out. Everything was embarrassing; hard to accept… but he was trying— no,  _ doing _ his best. Formulating an apology, one that didn’t put the blame on anyone but himself. A straightforward apology— just a simple ‘ _ sorry for everything I’ve done, sorry for hurting you type of apology _ ’. 

He blindly waited for Sakura at the greenhouse the next Saturday, the weekdays having gone by with sharp entering and exits of the classroom after cleaning, then he’d attend his cram school. At home, he’d have dinner, going right to sleep after remembering he’d done his homework during lunches. 

Greenhouse work occupied the third Saturday, and he doesn’t even remember the full details of what had taken place then. But he does know that he didn’t meet anyone but Sakura, doing her tasks in a way it would spread the time enough for him to go home, so he wouldn’t have to face the kitchen once again. 

Sasuke was following the same routine, ready to serve his last Saturday in the greenhouse once again. Upon reaching the place, he thought he had seen blond amongst the green plants again, whirling around to prevent a repeat of last time, realizing he wasn’t prepared, but he was forced to stop. 

“Sasuke!” It was Hotaru. He was so unused to someone calling his name at that point, and he could easily be coaxed into just ignoring, but he decided against it. He grumpily (and nervously) walked towards the glass house. 

She spoke before he could find any reason to run away. “I’m sorry,” Hotaru says. Her awkward, soft self was back, and he nearly sighs in relief. Nice people were truly the ones who were scary when angered. He just wanted to say sorry too, make things as better as he could, and move on. “For lashing out,” she continues. 

This was it. He’d given himself time to think the past two weeks. A lot about himself, but mostly about the situation as a whole. Sakura had been by his side through it all, answering his questions whenever he’d had any. He was still picking up and collecting the courage to… make a proper move, to at least apologize. He hadn’t gotten close enough to approach anyone yet, but here was Hotaru kickstarting him. 

“I…” He started, just as Hotaru sheepishly smiled and looked like she was about to make a move to leave. “I’m sorry, too.” 

She arches an eyebrow at him. “I don’t believe it.” His eye twitches in annoyance (more like embarrassment), the simple sentence taking a chunk of his courage. “You have to act on it… Did you apologize to Naruto?” 

“No, not yet,” he says. Just as it had in the previous days, it started raining around the same time early in the morning, if the light thumping against glass told him anything. 

“When are you going to do it?” 

“I don’t know, honestly,” he replies truthfully. He hasn’t seen Naruto anywhere, not in class, not to stay back for cleaning, and not in the past two weeks— except on Sunday, when he’d quickly clocked in class only to leave right away. The lack of his presence, however, gave him more time and less distractions to… prepare himself. “I haven’t seen him in a while.” 

“Neither have I… I got mad at him that same day,” she chuckles. “And he got mad back.  _ Then _ I got even more angry at you.” Hotaru looked okay, in general, which seemed to contradict whatever she was feeling. 

Sasuke nods at her. Then, “did you ever like him?” She seemed far too calm, as calm as him when he had bitterly tried to tell Naruto to unrightfully fuck off. Seeing the same thing from third person, he found her way of emotions rather unorthodox— not like he could control what others felt, of course. 

Hotaru didn’t look one bit taken aback with the words. “Of course I did. But I have self-respect, you know? It was so obvious he was hooked on you… That’s why I easily accepted it…” She shrugged, but he knew there was more depth to what she was feeling. She certainly gave the energy that she was a person who knew what they were doing. “Did you ask Iruka-sensei?” 

“No,” Sasuke shakes his head. “I will, if I need to.” 

“Alright,” Hotaru pats him on the shoulder. “We have exams in a week, so manage your time well.” 

—

  
  


Right, about managing time, he was great at it, but not good enough to give time to make way for talking to Naruto. The next two weeks, even during  _ exams _ , the blond was nowhere to be seen. The courage he had collected was starting to deflate like a balloon, the longer it lasted. 

He’d beautifully aced his exams, just as usual, but was surprised to see Naruto’s name also placed in the rankings, right on the slot right below his. 

No, he wasn’t surprised to see Naruto up so high… but surprised to see that his name was simply there when the boy hadn’t attended school for the last month— or four weeks, rather. He had no time to be jealous of mere rankings, not when he was still on top. Perhaps this was even what they would consider  _ friendship goals _ … if they were still friends. 

Most of the school stress off his shoulders, he approached Iruka-sensei once more during lunch. 

_ Why would he ask, when he had Naruto right at his contacts, and when he knew where he lived?  _ He reminded himself. 

Sasuke still preferred not to, but once he had visited the blond idiot’s house, he was met with nothing but silence. Trespassing was not the way to go, either. Messages remained unreciprocated, so Sasuke had done the lame act of giving up on that, too. He tried asking his parents, but his mother just shrugged, despite being close friends with Kushina, Naruto’s mother. 

The topic had quickly changed to his grades and a sit down about it. To which he only got a nod from his father; which seemed like nothing, but was certainly an improvement compared to all the shit talk he’s been dealing with for years. Sasuke had confronted them before exam week had started, with the assistance of Itachi. Since then, his father had visibly been trying to understand Sasuke, awkward and all, but the effort is appreciated. 

Maybe Naruto had seriously decided to cooperate with Sasuke’s shitty plan? It was hard to believe, yet simultaneously easy to believe, when their last meeting was literally hard glares and shared anger. 

“Iruka-sensei, where’s Naruto?” He asked once the teacher was cornered in his seat. 

“I’m afraid I’m not allowed to tell you, Sasuke,” his teacher simply said, not looking at Sasuke. 

“You’re lying,” Sasuke accused. Iruka-sensei was usually straightforward, and for him to use ‘I’m afraid’ like they were so formal was just too odd. And suddenly not maintaining eye contact? Something was completely off, and he felt that something was about to come, something Sasuke would never have anticipated. 

“I’ve no right to tell you, Sasuke.” Oh, was that it? 

“No right? What did he tell you?” 

Iruka-sensei sighed, twisting on his seat to finally look at the student. “Sasuke.” 

“Please, Iruka-sensei.” 

There seemed to be a moment of consideration, when Iruka-sensei looked him straight in the eye. It looked as if he were trying to read deep into his thoughts, but he could only get so much when Sasuke’s eyes were plain emotionless. “I’m not telling you.” 

“Fine,” Sasuke sourly caved. He walked out the room, his eyes immediately scouting the area. There was still one more person he could come forward to. It truly felt that Naruto was avoiding him, and he was right. He was rapidly losing courage. 

“He told me not to tell you,” Kiba whispered, so Sasuke couldn’t catch it. It seemed to work, if Sasuke raising a brow was any indication. “Not to tell anyone, really. But specifically not you,” he added, voice not changing the same volume. 

“Speak up, Inuzuka,” Sasuke said, adamant in letting stupid mumbling out. “You so forcefully wanted to know my name on the first day…” He eyed the boy harshly. “And now, you can’t speak up?” 

Sasuke could see a visible shudder speed through the boy. He looked up, as Kiba was slightly taller. Clearly he was still intimidating, as Kiba visibly swallowed. 

He raised his chin when Kiba refused to speak, his arrogance oozing out in waves that could only sting. It was when Kiba tried to run when Sasuke reached the peak of his annoyance. 

He grabbed Kiba’s collar, pulling back and slamming the boy to the vending machine nearby. It rattled, all in all adding tension into the air. “Tell me what the fuck happened,” he snapped. Clearly Naruto was okay, just hiding. This would be Naruto’s biggest mistake, ever trusting a frail idiot like Kiba. He gripped the collar roughly, gripping it tighter and tighter with every passing second. 

Finally, Kiba came apart, pushing Sasuke away from him. Sasuke let himself stagger backwards, waiting expectantly. “F-Fine!” He cried. “He had to go somewhere away!” 

“Away?” Sasuke croaked, confused, thinking. What did that mean? Holy shit, did Naruto really leave the co— 

“A-Abroad,” Kiba stuttered, stumbling away. “Jesus Christ, you’re scary…” He ran, disappearing in a corner, leaving Sasuke alone and astounded. 

The motherfucker had left the country, and he didn’t know damn where. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omfgg this was so mf rushed,,, but im so tired of writing sad shit man i wanna make narusasu talk already
> 
> hotaru down here
> 
>   
> 


	6. New Climate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol 
> 
> posts a week after 
> 
> i wonder if i should classify this as slowburn ? 
> 
> unedited

If anything assured him about Naruto, it was that he didn’t seem to be gone forever. His only physical evidence was that Naruto’s house didn’t look abandoned; only empty and asleep. And the fact that there was no goodbye party that his mom would have certainly insisted on— it was that or he was melting into his delusions. 

He’d been consistent with his thoughts: talk to Naruto, say _sorry_. Though he couldn’t deny how delaying the actual deed eased him a little, no matter how wrong dawdling was when it came to something like this. Naruto had been properly ignoring him, after all. 

Sasuke could no longer tell the state of his courage, although he could tell he was nervous. He knew it was going to happen, he just didn’t know when, or where. If the blond were to come back— he was confident he would— he may not even need to confront him then; Naruto was a person who could forgive… but, it wasn’t fair. He had to provide some clarity with the way he was feeling. 

He cringed with whatever situations he made in his head. Meeting Naruto in the airport, maybe? Talking to him in Singapore, after unfortunately bumping into each other while shopping for fruits? It was all implausible, and so, _so_ cheesy. 

Sasuke was currently with Sakura, the two of them lazing around in a McDonalds, for his birthday. Their parents had work, Sasuke’s own only greeting him in the morning, a stash of money on the counter with a promise of cake for later. Not like he was excited for cake, however, but he appreciated the sentiment; at the fine age of sixteen, birthdays didn’t feel like anything anymore. 

His brother stayed at his campus, texting Sasuke that they’d meet later. Now was that later, and Sakura was excited to meet another member of the mysterious Uchiha family. He had mundanely ordered a Ceasar’s salad, only relaying one of the orders Sakura had forced on him— she didn’t believe they were eating later. 

So they sat, Sasuke solemnly tossing his salad as he stared across the rain-drenched streets of Tokyo. He pretended not to notice the girl in front of him not-so-swiftly snatch his salad, flicking her fries with every steal as a type of compensation. 

“Where’s your brother?” Sakura skittishly asked. She was nearly bouncing on her seat, the idea of celebrating Sasuke’s birthday and meeting his brother somehow exciting to her. 

Sasuke sighs, turning away from the window to look at Sakura. “On his way, hopefully. He’ll be paying,” he said, pushing his salad towards her. She happily takes it, stabbing the cabbage and croutons and unceremoniously shoving the food into her mouth. 

The empty seat beside him makes him think of how it could’ve been occupied, if Naruto was there. 

_Duh_. That was simply how occupying worked.

He shakes his head in internal embarrassment, just as his phone dings. 

“Who’s that?” Sakura visibly swallows what’s left of the salad in her mouth. Sasuke grabs his phone from his pocket, sliding his finger across the screen to open it. He wasn’t one for passcodes— Naruto had always messed around with his and _‘could not remember such a ridiculously long number’_. Though, anyone snooping around his phone without his consent would deserve his wrath. And Naruto usually always had… his consent, per se. 

It was a message from “Hotaru,” apparently. Sakura nods, already aware of their sudden friendship. She gets back to eating and skittering on her own phone. 

Hotaru had greeted him with a simple happy birthday, a few heart emojis thrown his way as well. He gives his thanks. Sakura, not looking up from her phone

Already in the app, he checks his chat with Naruto if there was anything— a reply, maybe even a simple _seen_. Nothing, of course. Why would he suddenly break the streak of ignoring just for his birthday? It was what Sasuke wanted, after all. Pessimistically, maybe that _was_ his birthday gift.

“He hasn’t replied,” he says, sighing almost gloomily. 

“Who hasn’t replied?” A familiar voice easily slides into their conversation.

Sasuke turns to his older brother, scooting closer to the window to make space. Without regard, Itachi doesn’t wait for an answer, extending his arm for a handshake towards Sakura as he takes a seat. “Sakura, am I right?”

She enthusiastically connects their hands, nodding. “Sakura Haruno, Itachi.” 

The two of them exchange their greetings, Sasuke staying silent until he’s lightly shaken on the shoulder; not enough time to let his thoughts wander. 

“Well, when are we leaving for sushi?” Itachi asks. Sasuke wonders if Itachi purposefully ignored his obvious nervous, lazy mood. 

“Now?” Sasuke shrugs, cocking his head towards Sakura, noticing that the paper bowl was salad-free.

From then on, it wasn’t all the lot very eventful, just dumb shenanigans he’d usually only experience in the presence of the blond idiot. Itachi sat away from the two, ensuring them he was paying and treated Sasuke and Sakura for unlimited sushi, to which Sakura thoroughly indulged in— eating so fast that she choked— which pushed Sasuke to choke in a fit of whisper-laughter. Sasuke wondered if he’d ever eaten that much in one sitting, but it was the most fun he’d had when Naruto _wasn’t_ there. He ponders around the idea of hanging out _like this_ with the two of them present. 

Though all he did was sit and eat with company, he could conclude the day was fun. He surprisingly participated in more conversation than he usually did, and three hours passed in the restaurant. Satisfied, and stuffed, now on their way home, Sakura sitting in the back of Itachi’s car while he claimed shotgun, he rests his temple on the cold, damp window. In the quiet, humming car, he recaps what the hell happened the past month. 

Multiple, useless arguments with Naruto that could’ve been avoided. Naruto knew that Sasuke was a natural asshole: blunt, outspoken, mean, and very rude. Yet, there were times Sasuke took granted of his friend’s patience, and this time he fully crossed the line, desperately getting further from it to no avail. Now that he was trying to… get _behind_ that line, it was very difficult. He, and his ego were the only ones at fault. 

His brainless jealousy on Hotaru had led to a late, late epiphany. Sasuke felt so bizarre, so awkward— questioning what the hell was going on. It felt ridiculous, the plethora of issues consisting mainly— perhaps, _only_ — of relationships. _Relationship with Naruto_ , he recalls, finding it slightly amusing and not realizing he had chuckled to himself. The atmosphere of the car perks up, a little of their own amusement and curiosity. 

“What’s so funny, Sasuke?” He hears Sakura ask behind him, hands pressing on both his shoulders. Not shrugging them off as he usually did, he relaxed further into his chair, and sighs, “nothing.” 

She hums, pressing harder on his skin as a mock massage. “Is it that?” 

“That?” Perhaps that was a move that he did wrong, bothering to answer a question with a question. “No, I’m not thinking about that,” he quickly adds, side-glancing at his brother through the front mirror, who now had an eyebrow raised. 

“Is that so?” She snickers, not stopping her amateur massaging. Before she could continue, however, Itachi had butt in, telling Sakura to sit back and put her seatbelt on. They were now on the highway, and the car had gone much faster. _Safety first_ , Itachi had smiled, still facing straight at the road. They were still a long way from home, maybe around thirty minutes or so. With the sound of Sakura buckling in her seatbelt, he rests his head back, and falls asleep. 

—

The sun had fully fallen, and Sasuke had woken up to an open window, and cold air blowing into the side of his face. He blinks, rubbing his eyes and swallowing in an attempt to get his throat wet, as he took in the blue-lit streets. 

Sakura pops up in his vision, a smile on her face and a large paper bag in her hand. “Happy birthday, Sasuke~” She grins, holding the bag up and swinging it in front of his face. She must’ve told Itachi to wait for her to get it, as they were right at the front of her house, and she wasn’t carrying that around earlier. 

“Is that a gift?” He asks, eyes following the swing of the bag. Under the cold glow of the streetlights, the bag was mostly navy-blue, littered with glitter drawn spider lilies. The rope was glittery, too. It was something he didn’t like about him getting gifts; oftentimes they came with the decorative nuisance. 

She nods, and Sasuke moves his mouth, about to reject the gift and repeat his ‘ _I don’t need a gift_ ’ bullshit, but she cuts in faster. “Just accept it, Sasuke!”

“You mustn’t deny gifts from a friend, Sasuke,” his brother chided with a happy shake of his head. Though it was long ago when Itachi had stopped willingly celebrating his own birthday, he was always pushy with Sasuke’s. It was hypocritical, in all honesty, but he excused it as brotherly love. 

Sighing, he looks expectantly at Sakura. The girl smiles, dropping the bag on his lap whilst her other hand shot forward to pinch on his cheek. He instantly sees the glitter fly all over his lap, as it shone and glimmered with the lights— that was what he wanted to avoid in the first place. But it was helpless, and Itachi wouldn’t mind anyway. 

“Happy birthday, again,” Sakura said as she leaned forward, forcefully pulling his cheek closer, so that the rest of him would follow. She seemed like she wanted to say something, but Sasuke doesn’t get to dwell on it as she awkwardly wraps her arms around his neck, giving him a hug. Sasuke tries to return it by patting her shoulder. “See you tomorrow!” Sakura retracts, pinching his cheek one last time. 

“Bye,” he exhaled, rubbing blood back into his cheeks. The girl didn’t hold back when it came to strength. 

She smiled down at him, jogging backwards to her gate with a hand up to wave. Once she disappears past the tall walls, Itachi turns the engine once more, and they slowly make their way around the streets. 

The breeze softly blowing at his hair, he pulls out the staples from the bag, unfolding it and peeking inside. There was an unknown cylinder wrapped in colorful, shiny dark blue, and a folded, white piece of paper right beside it. 

“What is it?” He hears his brother question, just as they turn at the corner that leads right to their house. The curtains covered their windows, but light peaked through the edges, telling him that his parents were awake. 

“Dunno,” Sasuke answers, shrugging and lifting his eyes from the gift. He could always open it later. Itachi parks the car in their garage, and the two carefully exit the car. The large difference between the surprisingly warm temperature of their home and the outdoors make him shiver, and he chucks his shoes off and arranges them with his foot. 

By the door laid his two suitcases, reminding him that despite his efforts, his father’s words were nearly always absolute. Taking in a gulp of warm air, he realizes his throat was drier than it had been just minutes ago. He walks towards the kitchen, older brother following right after him. 

Shoving the kitchen door open, his parents stood by the counters, his father holding a dark, chocolate cake while his mother didn’t move, holding a lighter to the candles. A moment of confusion passes, Itachi breaks the silence by entering the room as well, placing a hand firmly on Sasuke’s shoulders. 

The candles are lit, and the two of his parents walk towards him as they hold it with extended arms. He was thankful for the lack of birthday singing, just simple greetings and evening exchanges. He blows the candle out, and he looks up at the two adults in front of him, nearly doubting himself when he spots a look of fondness in his father’s eyes. 

He’s embraced in a half-hug, with a kiss to his temple.

“Love you, Sasuke,” he hears. If he were any less tired he’d perhaps get a little more emotional, cry, maybe, but all he feels is his chest constricting at the unfamiliar tenderness. “Would you like some cake?” His mother asks, letting go of him as he took the cake from her husband’s hands. 

He shakes his head, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Tired,” he says. He gets a nod as reply, and a soft whisper telling him to go get some rest. He turns away from his family, and Itachi jumps into a short conversation with them. 

After convincing himself to change his clothes before slumping on the bed, he throws his hand over the edge to grab for the contents in the bag, not wanting to introduce the glitter onto his bed. 

Carefully unwrapping the plastic, he’s surprised when a small, bluetooth speaker is unveiled. It was dark blue, just as the rest of the bag. He had never shown much interest in expressing his music tastes, let alone had time to _understand_ his own taste. Getting him a speaker as a gift wasn’t confusing, however. It was a gift— it didn’t matter as long as there was effort put to it, was what Naruto had told him. The blond had expressed more emotion and excitement when he’d read the letter Sasuke had given him, momentarily forgetting the soccer ball it had come with. 

Opening the cylindrical plastic case the speaker came in, a charger and a manual had fallen out with it. He sets it aside, shoving the manual back into the case while he put the rest on his bedside desk. 

Shifting his attention to the folded piece of paper, he opens it to be hailed by Sakura’s sickly messy cursive handwriting. He squints, as if it would help him read anything. 

_Hi, dumbass!_

_Itachi told me you were too quiet so I got you a speaker~ It also makes everything less lonely… and bringing it to gatherings is always fun~~ everyone loves listening to music~~_

_That’s it, have fun with it <3 _

Sasuke sighs, folding the message back close, softly placing it beside the gifted speaker. He didn’t know whether or not he’d willingly bring it outside, but perhaps he could use it at the rare occasions a friend would come over. 

Hiding beneath his covers, he turns on his phone one last time for the night. Checking the Line app and scrolling down his chats in search of his with Naruto. To his surprise, it no longer showed nothing, but a text had appeared: _read_. 

He doesn’t exactly know what the bubbling feeling in his stomach meant, but he knew it was either the restoration of his courage, or plain, painful confusion. 

  
  


—

  
  


Sakura had taken the chance to drag Sasuke around the airport as soon as he’d check in. He allows himself to be forced down on a cushion, Sakura walking away to buy some mochi. 

_Sit down_ , she said, shoving Sasuke by his shoulders. She plops down her purse on his lap, scrambling to get her wallet. Itachi slumps right beside him as soon as he’d given Sakura some money as well, and Sasuke doesn’t question his unusual demeanor. As far as he remembered, his brother normally sat with his spine straight, but perhaps he sat that way when all along without noticing. Sasuke was too caught up with his own feelings, being a prissy teenager and all. 

Itachi had woken him up the same morning, face all sunshines and happiness. And for a moment, Sasuke could see why his older brother would come home with his car packed with gifts and chocolates during valentines day. He would go through them, picking the weird flavors and spitting them out right away. That was about as much experimentation he did outside of school. 

“Is it comfy?” Itachi asks, turning his head to look at his younger brother. When Sasuke had come back to his room after a shower, there laid neat ironed clothes on his bed. They’d been washed, pressed, and ready to wear. It was a full outfit, excluding underwear, of course, and it was simple, just as the rest of Sasuke’s wardrobe was. It came with a simple note of happy birthday, leaving Sasuke to infer that the clothes were Itachi’s gift for him. 

The only difference was that it was baggy, something Sasuke only wore when he was at home— but if his brother gave it to him, what was there to be ashamed about? He wore the navy sweater, adorned with the Uchiha family symbol embroidered on his back, pared with similarly plain, black linen trousers. Choosing whatever socks he had (most of which were black), he put on the shoes he was gifted right at his room— they were unused and clean, anyway. 

He had initially tucked in the sweater, but when Sakura had seen him, she immediately yanked it out. Confused, he slapped her hands away to tuck it back in. Unrightfully frowning, his friend just grabbed his wrists to stop him, explaining that it would get rumpled and uncomfortable. 

Eyeing her, he arches an eyebrow suspiciously. “What is it, really?” He had asked. 

Sakura hums, scratching her head as she rocked on her heels. “You look cute,” she said easily, hands tightening around his wrists. She knew he was going to back away. 

Sasuke swore he nearly gagged at the comment— handsome, hot, okay. Cute? Like a small, frail creature? No. He’d rather never receive any compliments if any of them were to include calling him ‘cute’. He promptly jerks his arms away and proceeds to shove the cotton in, not caring if he would look bad. “No, come on!” Sakura begs, bringing back his hands on his wrists. 

“No,” he hissed. He tried to tuck it in again, but Sakura’s hands were firmly keeping him in place. His rough jerking didn’t let her budge enough for him to escape. They must’ve stood like that for a few minutes, as people had started chuckling in their direction. Sighing, Sasuke finally relented. “Fine, I won’t,” he said. Smiling, Sakura hesitantly but soon drops one wrist, using the other to bring him to the check in line. 

“It’s comfortable,” Sasuke confirmed, tucking his bag under his arm and Sakura’s purse on her lap. The baggy clothes did get in the way sometimes, especially when he twisted and turned, but not too much to make it unbearable. It was better than wearing skinny long-sleeves that hugged his armpits and made him sweat. 

“I’m glad,” Itachi sings, overall lighting up the mood. “Father said stay safe. And I say stay safe, too,” he added. Sasuke was about to go overseas on his own, after all; to study with his uncle in Singapore, for summer break. Their parents wouldn’t be able to see Sasuke off, after choosing such an awkward day to travel. They had work that day, but fortunately enough Itachi was available. Sasuke was happy to not be alone, and that was enough on its own. On the other hand, he hoped whatever he was going to do in Singapore held more surprise than how vaguely his father had described it. It sounded so boring, but with his family, he didn’t know what to expect. 

Sasuke doesn’t reply, and only moments later Sakura comes back with plastic bags in hand. She hands the largest one to Itachi, just as she sits on Sasuke’s arm rest. The brothers give their thanks, eating their mochi with minimal small talk. 

Even if Sasuke wasn’t fond of sweets, he ate what was given to him, surprised as it comforted him in the bare minimum. Flights always frightened him, but he was excited for the short sightseeing he would get to experience on the plane. 

After the short snack, he was escorted by the two to the international gates, and with final byes and hugs, he disappeared behind them. 

  
  


—

  
  


Flights will always be tiring, even if all one would do was sit and wait. Sasuke didn’t really like sitting and waiting for lengthy periods of time, therefore he didn’t like flying. Not to mention that he was stuck in economy class, and he regrets his good habit of sleeping well and early. If he hadn’t slept so well, maybe he could be sleeping away the seven-hour flight. Instead, he doesn’t sleep a wink, letting his eyes rot as he reads stories on his phone. 

Eventually, the stories get boring, too, and blankly staring at the chair screen in front of him was all he could do. The movies weren’t his taste, and when he gets one done he immediately forgets the main character’s name. Before too long, it was only thirty minutes before landing and he undeniably gets a little giddy. He couldn’t wait to get off the plane and breathe the fresh air the Singapore airports gave. 

Lesson learned, Sasuke decides. Sometimes it wasn’t about the journey, but the destination. Singapore was beautiful, and if given the chance he may even stay at the airport to simply explore. That was for another day, however. When he had gotten past immigration and collected his bags, he switched his sim card and connected to the Wifi. Apparently his uncle was already waiting beside one restaurant, saying they would eat first. 

As if they hadn’t met a few months ago, he was pulled into a deep, warm hug. He awkwardly returns it, withdrawing from each other as they took a seat at the restaurant to eat. Now properly filled, he had excused himself first to the toilet and came back to his uncle humbly packing up the table. 

They were headed to the parking lots, and once his bags were carefully packed onto the trunk of the car and he was buckled up, he had fallen asleep. The time had finally settled in, and he realized it was already approaching midnight. Even if he didn’t sleep that early, the flight had burnt him out. 

He was woken up, Sasuke takes in the sight of the modern mansion in front of him. This was where he would stay during vacations with his family, yet the sight of it never ceases to amaze him. 

The house had plenty of high standing blue stained glass, white walls and dark roofs that complemented each other well. The nature that surrounded the building stood tall and fresh, waving softly with the breeze. 

Sasuke wipes the drool that had made its way down his chin, stumbling out of the car as he helps carry his luggage. His uncle accompanies him on his way to his guest room, whispering small reminders in the quiet hallways. 

“You have a big day tomorrow,” Uncle Obito starts, pushing the door to his room open. The lights were already on, and the room looked neat, and the cushions that were fluffed up looked inviting and comforting. “Did brother tell you about what you’re doing?” He asked as he settled the suitcase by a wall. 

“No,” Sasuke simply says, sitting down on the edge of the bed. Obito only leans by the door frame. 

“Well,” he eyes his nephew happily. “You’ll be working under me!” 

Sasuke rolls his eyes. “That, I know.” 

Obito ignores Sasuke’s snooty expression. “It also means you’ll be working with the rest of my students!” 

Falling on the bed, Sasuke groans and muffles his face into a pillow. Even if the competition he’d join had social events, he never learned to like them. This one was another of said social events, but he had no choice. 

“Honestly, I wouldn’t want to bring you,” his uncle muses. Before Sasuke can say, _‘then don’t’_ , the man continues. “You’re kind of a dick.” 

Throwing the pillow away, Sasuke glares sideways at his uncle. “Wow,” he said. 

“But I’ve already signed you up,” Obito sighs in fake sadness. “That’s all. Take a shower, brush your teeth and go to sleep. We have to leave by ten in the morning!” 

Sign up for what? Before he could voice his queries, his uncle had exited the room without shutting the door. 

Sasuke groans in annoyance, of the little pet peeve and the lack of satisfaction with given details, but instead of going ahead to shut the door, he opens a suitcase to prepare a change of clothes.

After a little clothes scrambling, he soon has clothes he’d prepare for sleeping and a bath towel slung over a shoulder, he makes his way to the nearest bathroom for a shower. 

—

Sasuke had woken up just as the sun was starting to show, the whistling birds merging his dreams with reality. 

Not wanting to get up yet, feeling a little drowsy, he searches the small desk beside the bed for his phone. 

Just as he’d expected, his phone was bombarded with notifications, hiding his wallpaper. Itachi’s, which was right at the top, had greeted him with a good morning. His parents had asked for a reply once he’d reached the mansion, so he gave them assurance of his safety. 

Sakura had given him the majority of the notifications, and he replied to all the questions he could answer; most about how he was and where he was. 

He scrolls a little lower, and maybe it was much too early in the morning, but he sees Naruto’s name in bold; apparently he had unsent some messages. His eyes must be deceiving him— but that couldn’t be the case… Sasuke had perfect eyesight! Naruto really sent him four texts and unsent them! Sasuke frowns, his hands slightly quivering as he holds the phone.

It was one thing to _ignore_ , and another to simply unsend, but the two of them together were simply annoying. Feeling a strong urge to reply, he does it right away, before said feeling leaves. 

_What was it?_

If they were in a stupid quarrel, Sasuke would’ve added unnecessary taunting. But clearly Naruto had given him some hope— a chance, even if it didn’t seem on purpose— he couldn’t ruin it for the sake of his ego. 

Unexpectedly, the same moment he sent it, _read_ had popped up, indicating Naruto had seen it. 

_We need to talk_ , Sasuke adds, jumping right into it. Sasuke’s past (one-sided) messages simply asked Naruto where he was, never asking for forgiveness nor addressing any issue. He was getting desperate, and if Naruto ignored this one as well, he wouldn’t be able to tell if his next messages would be too. 

In fact, Naruto only may have been playing on his phone and accidentally pressed on Sasuke’s notification. 

Sasuke sadly held on to the idea, and was proved right when no indication of Naruto seeing it popped up. Reading the first message was simply an accident. He stared at his phone for a few minutes, feeling the same annoyance his friend may have felt when he was getting ignored. 

Frustrated, Sasuke rips the sheets off himself, hurriedly slipping out of the bed. He spreads the blanket, his way of keeping. If working with his uncle was as tiring as it had seemed, getting back to a bed that was cool and crisp would be his grain of comfort. 

He could hear the beginnings of movement downstairs, and he takes that as cue to prepare. 

Even if they had to leave in a little less than three hours, if he greeted the rest of his family first, he would never have time to get ready. 

Whenever he stayed in someone else’s house, he’d prepare his own clothes and bring it with him to the bathroom to change. It was especially okay in this household, as every room in the building was reasonably large and clean, not excluding bathrooms. He does it like a routine, and before long he’s on his way downstairs for breakfast. 

Sunlight was spilling into the room, shining a brilliant light onto the pale walls of the home. The sliding doors to the pool area were wide open, welcoming a cold, gentle breeze. The smell of breakfast food wafted around the food, his hunger amplifying the smell and appeal of it all. 

“Ah, Sasuke,” a husky voice echoes throughout the room. He recognizes it as his great grandfather, Madara, who looked much too young for his age. His hair was as midnight black the last time they met, and he wore a neat haori over sharp linen pants that showed he had a sense of modernity. 

There’s a gentle smile on his face as he coos his young grandchild with a gentle wave of his hand. “Come here,” he says, arms held out. 

Sasuke stalks right over, standing beside the old man to bend down and gives a gentle hug. “Good morning,” he greets just as they part away from the embrace. 

Unlike his house in Japan, where the kitchen was fully surrounded by walls, the kitchen in the mansion was twice the size and half open to the rest of the ground floor. Sasuke could peak over the counter and see whoever was responsible for the annoyingly loud clinking. 

It was Shisui, his expectedly loud, happy-go-lucky cousin. The clinking may have been annoying, but he forgives it fast enough when he sees the freshly cooked food. 

“Oh, oh!” Shisui’s eyes go wide at the sight of him, “well, look at you, freshly showered and ready to go!” 

The food was brought closer to him, and he was hastily ordered to bring it to the table. 

Sasuke does as told, placing the drool inducing dish in the middle. _Traditional family dinner_ , his great grandfather would always say, after Sasuke wouldn’t sit with the family the first time they met in the start of his adolescence. He sits right in front of the old man, waiting expectantly. 

He would probably be called again, but his uncle enters, circling around them after patting his head. He slides into the kitchen and a minute later the clinking gets louder. 

His thoughts trail somewhere else; about Naruto, specifically. About where he could be, what he could be feeling, and if he was kidnapped shortly after leaving the country. 

If he weren’t kidnapped, at least Sasuke knew that Naruto was sleeping well, and it was daytime wherever he was. The boy wasn’t used to staying up late, always insisting the health was wealth and that sleeping helped his athleticism. He slept as early as nine, waking up at six or a little past it.

Memories of their sleepovers get him nostalgic, and the longing for normality floods his chest. When they were younger, and he didn’t join any stupid competition that kept him from his friend. Back to the time he woke up beside the blond, and how he’d stare and poke at the scarred cheeks as though to tell him to wake up; not simply wanting to touch. Sadly, what _was_ normality at this point? 

“What troubles you, boy?” The same husky voice invades his thoughts. 

Blinking away his day… _thinking_ , he looks up at the old man in front of him. “Yes?” He says dumbly. 

A chuckle. “Perhaps it is young love?” 

_Spot on_. What was it with old people being so wise and all-knowing? With ancestral ages you’d think they would only be knitting and retelling stories. He shakes away the fog in his head and orders the butterflies in his stomach to settle. 

Sasuke doesn’t say anything, his face warming up. 

  
  


— 

  
  


After a short drive, the car parks in front of a building. It stood high above the ground, tops of columns adorned with beautiful Corinthian carving. The sidewalks were shaded with nature, bright green trees coloring the pale building.

Shisui had tagged along, wrapping his arms around Sasuke’s shoulders and excitedly pulling him through the carpeted hallways. They had passed by a small, waiting area hall that was unsurprisingly filled with people. It was some type of… mingle party, after all. 

Before entering another hall, his uncle handed him an ID, his full name, and a bunch of other, confusing letters and numbers typed on the card. Then he left the two, not entering the hall. Sasuke assumed it was his professor's duties. 

Shisui had seated him and Sasuke on the sides of the hall, near the stage. If he wasn’t feeling up to it, he could sit away from his cousin to sit behind a pillar and sleep, but again, he had regretfully gotten a nice amount of sleep. 

Soon, the hall was filled, and a boy who looked of his age, with white hair and minty tips sat beside him. Not wanting to be unnecessarily rude, he doesn’t move to sit on Shisui’s other side. It didn’t mean it was easy, as the stranger oddly smelled like the ocean. 

Complaints don’t get further than thoughts when the lights on the stage turn on, the booming voice of his uncle making the hall vibrate. To his surprise— t _o his inexplicable fucking surprise_ — another voice shake the halls twice as strong, and his clouds of confusion twirl and block the wrinkly tissue in his head from working quickly. 

Sasuke remembers visiting the Uzumaki household— how no one was there and how Kiba was forced to give Naruto’s whereabouts. How he was apparently overseas. 

And if Uzumaki Kushina’s indisputable presence meant that—

His eyes roam around the room, exuberant nervousness and commotion in his chest. 

Not as they bought fruits, no. 

As if _God_ himself aligned his life with only right, blues pierce right through him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhhh we all know what happens now <3
> 
> i feel like i add too much time skips, but im not into writing too much fillers as this story is abt naruto n sasuke 
> 
> sry for LATE ASS update i tried clearing out my drafts 
> 
> p.s; i've never visited any uni in singapore. just y4le uni n woosley? woolsey? hall is what im describing  
> 
> 
> naruto pov next? hmm


	7. Evening Messages

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol hi
> 
> happy sasuke day yesterday 
> 
> edited only one part of this, hopefully nothing is too confusing // watch out for shit grammar lmaoooo

What in the  _ fuck  _ was going on? 

Naruto must’ve been squirming on his seat, when Karin shamelessly slaps the back of his head. 

“What?” He hisses, looking sideways at the red-head. Trying to play cool, “actually, I’m not listening to an idiot,” he says. He tries to focus on the stage, where his parents stood along with few other professors. One of them, who introduced himself as Obito earlier— he had seen enter the hall with…

After a month of being in Singapore, most of the time he spent touring, half-moping, half-missing and not seeing his friend— ex-friend, really, but Naruto didn’t really like the sound of it— for a whole month and longer, certainly didn’t expect to suddenly see said friend. 

When Sasuke had started to observe the ceiling in… Naruto nearly chokes on himself, but he couldn’t find another more suitable word;  _ adorable _ amazement, the raven’s big, sparkly eyes and twitching shoulders that wouldn’t let him look away. And the hair— Naruto couldn’t even try to lie to himself for so long; Sasuke’s hair was weird and no one else in the world seemed to have it. It could  _ only _ be him. 

But when Sasuke’s sights turned to his general direction, Naruto panicked and quickly hid behind one of the pillars, hoping his obnoxious choice of clothing didn’t bother anyone.

Naruto put a hand on his chest as if to push back the heart trying to rip itself free. Nervous, fear, or other feelings his chest tried to convey, he didn’t know. He didn’t  _ want _ to know. 

It was a thin line between… err,  _ romantic feelings  _ (oh God, what traterious thoughts! Naruto wanted to shrink and hide) _ , _ and… whether or not he was just surprised. 

After ignoring the desperate messages he was receiving from Sasuke and Hotaru, he suddenly realized how petty he was a few days ago, and he’d finally downloaded the Line app again; followed by other social media apps he rarely used. Kudos to him for pathetically creating another account to only tire himself out with online arguments with some friends. Then, dragging good friends to his old fashioned, calls instead. 

Biggest fucking mistake, tapping on his chat with Sasuke, daring to feel surprised, seeing he was messaged first. 

His head spun and his sight blurred, believing his eyes were deceiving him again. 

_ Naruto _

_ We need to talk _

_ Where are you _

_ I heard you didn’t want me to know _

_ Kiba told me _

_ Let’s talk  _

And that was it, but it was so much more than Sasuke would usually ever try. Naruto knew what Sasuke wanted to talk about, and after that long, he honestly just wanted to forget about it. He wasn’t really the biggest forgiving person, but all his borders seemed to go lax when it came to his dear friend. 

It was Sasuke’s birthday yesterday, or really, an _hour_ _ago,_ and he wasn’t even messaging him over some stupid fight! His hands itched to greet, but he couldn’t… he didn’t… 

_ hey um im sorry for ghosting u lol _

_ busy af _

_ talk abt what  _

_ and happy birthday  _

He stared at his texts. Right. They looked okay, casual, natural. 

But their situation was anything but okay, casual, let alone natural. He stares at it longer, feeling himself start to sweat. He glances at the time. 

It was one in the morning, meaning it would be two, in Japan. Naruto hoped Sasuke wasn’t awake. Chances are, he was, but after a short moment of waiting, nothing happens. No indication saying Sasuke had seen the texts, or was online. 

He re-reads what he’d sent. 

_ Gross _ , Naruto grimaces. It seemed good only seconds ago. 

Long pressing on the green bubbles, he waits for a tab to show up. He taps at unsend, and does the same with the rest of the messages. Surely it would only look like a mistake, right? As if he accidentally forwarded…  _ four _ things. 

Suddenly overcome with exhaustion, one he usually felt earlier to the night, he falls back onto the springy, uncomfortable, sofa bed. The hard spring, barely cushioned by a thin layer of cotton, felt like nothing compared to the buzzing in his head telling him to fall asleep. 

The same day, the whole family on their toes and scrambling around the house, Naruto was rudely awoken from his sleep by his mother. 

“Argh! Mom!” Naruto immediately springs up, barely awake. He rolls off the mock bed, half landing on his ass and the blanket he was tangled in. 

“Naruto! We have to get there early today!” She half yelled, folding Naruto’s bed and messily throwing the pillows on them. The clock above the television reads seven-five, and he struggles as he tries to get up, trying to rip the thick sheet off him. 

After useless flailing, eventually, he’s free, and making his way to the toilet to brush his teeth. 

With a quick glance, he notes that his mom was already dressed, in a loose blouse with dress pants, hair ironed straight, warmly draped over her shoulders. Naruto figured he didn’t have time to take a shower, if she was so ready already. 

He couldn’t smell anything from the kitchen, either. It also seemed there was no time to eat. 

Rushing to his suitcase, he pulls out a fresh, white t-shirt, some black jeans, and puts on a bright orange bomber jacket that he hung near the window. Karin claimed he looked like shit, but whenever she said it, it sounded more of jealousy rather than genuine disgust. He snorted and slapped her comments away. A quick glance at the full body mirror near the large bookshelf, he concludes that he indeed looked good. 

A moment later, Karin and his parents start rushing down from upstairs, their hasty moves making him panic a little. 

He follows his cousin as she takes a sharp turn to the kitchen. Naruto notices the socks she was already sporting, and panics a little more. “God, this is so sudden,” Naruto groaned. He can feel her roll his eyes. 

“No, it’s not. Maybe if you listened over dinner yesterday,” she said, just as Naruto poured water onto a glass cup while she snatched granola bars from a cabinet. 

Naruto scowls, holding a hand out, a graceless request for the oaty, dry foods. There was a chance that they wouldn’t be able to eat for a while, and aside from trying to figure out the confusing Sasuke, hunger was one of the few things that took away his energy. 

When she doesn’t give him anything, rather, chewing on the bars as fast as possible, he scowls again. “Karin, gimme,” he demands. 

“No,” she boredly said through messy chewing, “dumbass.” 

Before he could reply with his own lame nickname, water started trickling down the hand that held the glass cup. Dropping the outstretched arm, he backs away from the dispenser. Naruto gulps the water down, rubbing the wet hand on a pant to dry it out. 

Taking out his phone from his pocket, he slides the thing unlocked right onto his chat with Sasuke. 

Fuck. He should’ve exited the app before sleeping, because Sasuke had just sent a message and he had now unwillingly seen it. 

_ What was it? _ The message read. Sasuke was referring to the deleted messages, and it adds to his panic. For a second, he contemplates sending a short explanation, or maybe just say ‘nothing’, but either didn’t seem like a good course of action. Instead, he exits the app. 

Naruto pushes Karin out of the way, grabbing his own granola bars and stuffing them into the pockets of his jacket; he ignores Karin’s annoyed grumbles. 

Sticking his tongue out at her, he grabs a bottle of gatorade from the fridge, tucking it under his armpit and rushing out the kitchen. Karin hurriedly follows right behind him, and besides her quick running, her feet didn’t make any splatting noises, unlike Naruto. 

Right, socks. Naruto drops to his suitcase once more, pulling out a pair of socks from one of the compartments and messily slipping them on. His parents were already wearing shoes, unlocking the door while his cousin slipped on a pair of sneakers. 

He peeks at his phone, as it turned on during his haste. 

Another message from Sasuke.  _ We need to talk.  _

Ignoring it, and ignoring his feelings, he rushes out the door, hopping as he attempts to put on some shoes. Karin shuts the front door behind him, moving faster and easily slithering into the backseat of the already running car. 

Naruto stumbles right after, and not a moment too soon, the car is on it’s way. He peeps at his phone again, nervous relief washing over him— he had disconnected from the Wifi already. That, or Sasuke hadn’t sent any  _ messages _ . He sighs and subconsciously mumbles some requests that Karin surprisingly does. 

When they had arrived, they were brought behind the stage for breakfast his dad had promised them during the ride. Perhaps they were too whiney with their hunger. Granola bars had done well for him and his cousin, but as it turns out, the sight of warm food restarted, and flushed their stomachs. And if it weren’t for Kushina’s light threat, the mediocre cinnamon buns would’ve been ravaged. 

After getting his fill, sweet breads and pastries and chugging down coffee, he roamed the area to familiarize himself with it. Originally planning to stay alone, maybe do that weird atmospheric taking-in thing, but Karin had tagged along, so they bickered back and forth until they were both exhausted. 

Eventually, their coffee breath had settled, penetrating every corner of their mouths; icky and gross to the point they’d practically  _ begged _ each other to not breathe. 

Naruto was about to excuse himself. He was basically sated, and all he wanted to do was laze around, if it weren’t for the repeated motherly nagging. Instead, Karin ordered him to buy some  _ ‘mint, gums, whatever hits the tongue’,  _ throwing a dollar onto his hand.  _ ‘You stink,’ _ she bothered to add.  _ ‘Treat yourself.’ _

Grumbling, Naruto makes his way even with the lack of direction. Speaking of lacked… 

All the information on what they were supposed to do… well,  _ lacked:  _ ’you’re going to meet kids your age’, and ‘you’re going to learn stuff with them’ left him to assume. It was only summarized to him as a _ ‘summer fun-time _ holiday’, yet it was enough to excite him for what was to come. Communicating with people? He was fucking up to it! 

Naruto didn’t expect his love of making friends all of the sudden whither. 

On his way to get some gum from the vending machine near the entrance— which honestly didn’t match the aesthetic of the place— fate had brought him to meet the best friend he was ignoring. Said friend just had to make him insecure; he had no business looking that good! 

Seeing Sasuke again made him wonder just how the hell he even  _ ignored _ him that long, Naruto being an incredibly social creature. His eyes followed the boy around the corner, past the pillars, making Naruto move to hide again. He disappeared after parting away from a tall man, walking into the hall after slipping on a thin red ribbon around his neck— probably an ID; that he wondered why he didn’t have. 

After deciding the coast was clear, he desperately bought the minty chewing gum, hands a little shaky. He entered the same way Sasuke had, after finding out the door held no longer allowed him any entry. 

It took him a while to find his cousin, likely because he was fucking dazed, and a little lost with a dash of bewilderment. No way would it be difficult to spot someone with eye-burning red hair amongst a crowd. God could he feel the bleach if they were too close.

With the scrambling in his stomach, the little incident— or sightseeing, rather— Naruto wondered if he could disgustingly barf out whatever he’d eaten earlier. 

If he were any less nervous, he would somehow childishly blame this on Sasuke. It was his sudden presence that made Naruto feel… weirder. 

Shaking his head to force the hopeless thoughts aside, he finally spots Karin, leaning lazily against the shiny wooden chairs, the idiot munching on a granola bar. He formed a mental path to make his way to her, at the same time dodging other people, many of whom looked his age. 

The man that was with Sasuke, entered the stage wildly, his roar nearly making his ears bleed. God  _ forbid _ Karin choose a seat any further than right in front of it. Quickly sitting on the free seat beside her, it was at that moment his mom came in. He swore he could hear the beginnings of shattering glass. 

It was that moment he regretted never tending to his usually useful habit of… looking around, overfeeding his curiosity. If he looked, it didn’t mean Sasuke would be too, right? 

But the world revolves around the sun, and like him, things can’t be helped. 

Ah, shit. 

—

“Fuck, Karin, what’s your team?” Naruto asked, one hand harshly gripping Karin’s arm. He was bracing himself on the seat as if we were riding a roller coaster. Obito had explained that they would be split into teams, and the moment he heard such news, he felt himself pale. 

Karin groans and slaps Naruto’s hands away. “I don’t fucking know, Idiot.” 

“Then… what’s mine?” Maybe she had heard his team during dinner last night? Naruto felt his soul fight against his ribcage. He wanted to ascend, too. Heaven or hell, he didn’t care. Even if the hall was filled to the brim with people, his age and older, with the way the cards were playing out, chances were he would certainly be fucking teamed with Sasuke! He felt as if he weren’t ready, yet he was unable to pinpoint what exactly he was supposed to be ready for. 

Some part of him liked that Sasuke was there— but Jesus Christ was Naruto distressed. Excitement was what he wanted to call it, but he didn’t exactly know what to be excited about. A talk? Why would he even be excited for that? Possibly getting beat up again by Sasuke after leaving abruptly? 

“It’s on the IDs, the dude said,” Karin shrugged, not bothered enough to look at Naruto. With a little excusing they could probably get it later, and maybe even skip the whole thing entirely— _ if  _ his mom would let that. 

“Where the fuck are ours?” Naruto gripped her arm again. “Karin, come on,” he nearly whined.

Exasperated, Karin rolls her eyes over to Naruto with an exaggerated face of annoyance. “I don’t fucking have it, dumb bitch. What are you so worried about?” 

Obito was now joking around with the rest of the…  _ professors. _ On stage. Awkwardly. Nerdly. He has a fleeting thought of Sasuke facepalming to what they were laughing at, while he would laugh along. Awkwardly. It helped the scratchy feeling in the pit of his stomach to dissipate. If anything, at least he wouldn’t be alone with Sasuke. It made everything seem less serious than it actually was. The way they’d rushed to the venue, and the many days his parents would be talking to someone over the screen. 

Even with his skill of… ‘looking’, the couple’s defenses (scolding) had kept him at bay. Apparently he truly wasn’t allowed to know; as if a quiz were to come and they were discussing the questions. Karin seemed clueless as well— or uninterested, rather. 

After being denied for the hundredth time, he gave up, never asking again. He had been excited about going to Singapore for the first time, as his parents offered to bring him if he scored high—  _ super high, Sasuke level high,  _ they even said— in the exams. He’d smugly thought about making Sasuke what he’d felt when the latter was gone, but it had essentially backfired. 

Between the activities— going to theme parks, swimming, arguments with his cousin, the hours were spent fantasizing that Sasuke was there. It sounded fucking ridiculous, but after spending most of your waking hours happily with the same person, you’d expect to be with them the other days. Now that his dream had come true, he didn’t know what the hell he was thinking when imagining such situations. 

“Nothing,” Naruto sighs. He hadn’t told Karin about his ‘fight’ with Sasuke. He could certainly sense a little change between them, but it never came to mind to vent. Naruto wondered if he wasn’t being expressive as he usually was, but it likely wasn’t the case. Everyday they’d done something to drain his energy; his daydreaming blankness could easily be perceived as tiredness. 

He tries to settle his shoulders, trying to sort out his thoughts and feelings as he watches the adults titter on the stage. Seeing his dad try to keep up with the extraverted folks was interesting. 

“Hah,” Karin turns to the side. Naruto follows her head, peeking past her head. When he does, however, he immediately sees the pale, smooth side of his face framed with black hair. Real good at observing, Naruto. Real descriptive. If he were anyone else, they’d think he was _ whipped. _ “Is that Sasuke?” 

As though Sasuke had heard her over the loud hosts, Sasuke snaps his line of sight to them. The two weren’t hard to see— bright blond hair and a vicious read head near the lights of the stage? 

Naruto looks away, suddenly feeling cold. He tries to focus on whatever his mom was now saying. 

“Naruto, he’s looking here,” Karin said. Now it was  _ her _ turn to tug on him. 

“Wait, mom’s saying something!” He half-yelled, trying to keep his arm in place. 

“Yeah, right. When do you ever listen?” The tugging stops, but he misses how Karin obnoxiously waves at Sasuke. The boy waves back, eyes squinting. 

She drops her hand, facing the front again. 

— 

“No! No… No, Karin, where—” Naruto pleaded, trying to pull his arm back. Karin was dragging him across the hall and around the chairs. To where Sasuke stood. To where he wasn’t ready to be. It was difficult trying to resist the barbaric grip of the redhead. “C’mon, we gotta get our IDs!” 

He was desperate, trying to force Karin to stop by pulling on her shoulder. Naruto only continued to slide through the shiny floors. 

Thankfully, Sasuke wasn’t looking up yet, at their direction. The boy was having a conversation with a weird white haired guy and an Itachi look alike; the other man he was with earlier. Naruto assumes the two were related. Sasuke as usual, around others, looked as bored as ever, only with a hint of impatience. 

To his relief, his persistent cousin paused for a moment. “What’s the big deal?” She turned around, a hand on her hip while the other pushed the red rimmed glasses up her nose. Confused, yet more happy, she exclaimed, “It’s just Sasuke! Uzumaki Naruto’s best friend!” 

“Yes, but we’re—” Pause. Not friends? Not best friends? Certainly not talking.

“We’re what?” Karin pressed, eyes thinning. Her innocent gaze had turned to contemplation.

“We’re supposed to go to our teams!” He tried, retracting his arm and tucking his hands into his jean pockets. 

“What’s the harm in a little detour?” 

Ack. Naruto didn’t know how to go about it without it being too awkward. He didn’t even know why he was avoiding the boy at this point. They were here! In the same space after so long! Maybe Sasuke had forgiven him after so long, albeit the text messages gave no hints to say so. 

Naruto shrugs, feeling a droplet of cold sweat trickle down behind his ear, “just… excited.” 

“Fine,” Karin groans in annoyance. He could tell he was being annoying as well.

Naruto perked up, his heart relaxing a little. If they’d taken another step closer to Sasuke, he swore would’ve fainted. “Okay,” Naruto belatedly grins, the contentment settling in the pit of his stomach feeling wrong. Not like he cared right now. “Let’s go!” 

—

  
  


To his dismay, he was separated from Karin. 

On the bright side, however, he wasn’t with Sasuke. 

Therefore, he was excited and calm for whatever he was going to do. 

Naruto was on some recently sprinkled grass under a grown tree, but from a little glance around, and the sun beating around him, it was going to get real dry soon. Even after a month in Singapore, he couldn’t trust whatever weather report there was. 

“Hi,” Naruto said, turning to his side, to a guy with spiky hair tied into a ponytail. At the call, the dude turned to face him. 

Naruto observes the boy’s features, eyes a little droopy with the beginnings of eyebags hanging underneath. “Oh, wow, nice piercings,” Naruto complemented, noting the silver on the ear that hid from his sight earlier. 

“Sup,” the guy boredly said, standing straighter as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. The two shifted to properly face each other. 

“I’m Naruto,” he grins. “You?” 

“Hah,” the guy sighs. “Weird name. I’m Shikamaru.” 

Undeterred by the obvious disinterest— more likely boredom, maybe even annoyance, Naruto smiles and shrugs at him. “First time?” 

“Pretty sure it’s everyone’s first time,” Shikamaru says, arching an eyebrow with a scowl on his face. Naruto wonders if he did anything wrong, but he quickly realizes it was simply the way the boy was. “First year and all. It’s new.” 

Naruto wanted to groan; Shikamaru was shitty at conversations. “Oh, shit. You’re right,” Naruto laughs, and it ends right there, when Obito walks towards them and pulls the sign from its firm placement on the earth. 

“Hey, Goal Diggers!” Obito excitedly yelled, making everyone around the sign turn their attention to him. He held some papers on his other hand, somehow using the same hand to grip a strap of his bright yellow backpack. 

“Goal Diggers,” Shikamaru echoes in a disgusted tone, probably finding the name ridiculous. Naruto chuckles along, finding the name weird but not ridiculous. 

Naruto listens Obito babble away, explaining _ this and thats _ of how they were a team, that they had to be there for each other, get to know each other and be best friends. Much stuff about the  _ power of friendship, _ and it was hilariously cheesy, which was all Naruto’s philosophy. Everyone was awkwardly smiling and laughing along, and Naruto couldn’t help but agree; it was indeed awkward, but it looked like they’d be friends before long. 

For a moment, he could see the similar features of the adult and Sasuke. Awfully reminded of his friend, he feels his expression droop a little. 

The reminder doesn’t stay strong when Obito starts yelling some names— yelling, something in which Sasuke didn’t really do. 

It seems like his pout doesn’t cease, because Shikamaru is now tapping on his shoulder. 

“Naruto, Naruto Uzumaki~” Obito is singing. 

Wickedly, he yells to acknowledge the call of his name, and the momentary gloom rightfully proves itself as momentary. He can sense the bright and amused eyes around him, and it encourages him to smile as well. 

—

After nearly four hours of bonding, Naruto could safely say he was happy. Happily distracted. From Sasuke, mostly. He’d gotten to know his teammates, finding out a good number of them had actually come from Japan, much like himself. 

One of them had oddly looked like Hinata, a classmate of his that he barely interacted with, but enough to memorize her basic and most telling features. The weird, pale, nearly colorless eyes, and straight dark hair, something that was clear with this friend’s features too. 

Naruto had taken the chance to introduce himself to the boy when one of the activities was to record the sprint times from one building to another— apparently the paper simply said so, no meters or anything— of whoever volunteered. Unsurprisingly, no one really wanted to willingly sacrifice themselves like that in front of strangers, so Naruto stepped up along with the other fellow. 

Instead of stepping down to let the other race, both had actually insisted on committing to the act, and it led to a condescending tease battle of unhealthy insistence. Not too long, however, Obito had offered the two of them race each other, and they happily agreed. 

Sadly, he lost, and it pegged his ego down a little, but after a quick exchange of names his curiosity is satisfied after hearing that the boy was Neji  _ Hyuuga, _ and a good cousin of Hinata’s. It wasn’t necessary information, though in a sense it had brought them closer together. It was a little sign that the rest of the event, as long as he spent most of it with this new group of friends, would be a-okay. And that he’d have more chances to make reasonable excuses to  _ not _ be with Sasuke. 

By the end of it all, he was sweating. Naruto praises himself for taking off his jacket and tying it around his waist before doing anything. If he hadn’t, he’d be sweaty as he was when he was playing a full length soccer game. 

Obito hadn’t paid extra attention to him either, making it safe to assume Sasuke hadn't shared anything with the dude, unlike how Sasuke would with his brother. 

Not that he knew, though. Either Itachi was annoyingly good at piecing a puzzle together, or Sasuke  _ did _ share.

Speaking of Itachi, the stupid ‘ _ I asked if you like him’ _ from the older smartass still stuck in the back of his head. It occasionally resurfaced, fogging his eyes and disrupting his thinking whenever he thought too much about it. Or Sasuke, which was often. 

Naruto wondered how saying he was straight didn’t answer it. Maybe it was the addition of ‘pretty sure’? But Naruto  _ was _ pretty sure he  _ was _ straight. Nonetheless… Naruto wondered why he didn’t just say no. 

Thinking about it now, he didn’t think he could even  _ say _ no. 

If he were asked  _ now _ , he wouldn’t say  _ no.  _ There was this undeniable…  _ thing, _ but he had to stay safe and not dare focus on it.

The prospect of being something more than just ‘best friends’ with Sasuke had stuck to him ever since the confession, not even struck down when Sasuke had breezily taken back his words. He’d even felt a pang of disappointment! 

After receiving a confession from Hotaru, however, it was, in a way, largely different— mostly because they were strangers— and eventually fell to like her as a friend.  _ After _ a week of sorting out some feelings, he broke up with her and ghosted her, because he didn’t know what to do.

_ Unfortunately, _ he’d broken up with her too late, so when Sasuke had seen her cling onto his arm, the shiny dark eyes that usually held so much emotion turned chalky and expressionless, poisoning him in ways he couldn’t comprehend.

Sasuke acted as if he were unaffected, brushing them off and maneuvering around them, but Naruto wasn’t his best friend for nothing. He saw something past the unaffected fake demeanor. 

He chased after Sasuke, and totally didn’t expect he’d be spurred enough to punch the boy first. Sasuke had hit him back, making them both tumble on the floor. 

Naturally, Naruto struggled and tried to fight back, but at the sight of those eyes— dark and trance-inducing, told him to stay put. So he did, letting himself get hit repeatedly until blood started to spill. Until one of them was pulled away. 

Sasuke talking in the principal’s office, and the tiny curl of lips he was able to see during his banter with his granny, had left Naruto to think everything was getting better; that they’d be able to truly work this out over the weekend, but when Sasuke had went back to glaring and giving him the cold shoulder, the inevitable cloud of heartache started to glower over him wherever he went. 

It only formed when Sasuke was there, at the same time it only started to truly dissipate whenever he saw Sasuke the slightest bit happy. 

That weekend, he’d totally expected to talk to Sasuke, maybe while they did work, but said work required his full attention. And before he knew it, he no longer had the time to talk to the boy and was instead coddled by his girlfriend in the kitchen. Sasuke had rushed out, and Naruto had desperately tagged along. Only to be pushed away, rejected without reason, and it made his urge to break up with Hotaru even stronger. 

Settling and organizing his feelings (for Hotaru) one last time, they’d walk home together and he broke up with her just as they parted ways. He never talked to her after that. 

Hotaru wasn’t angry, but she was visibly upset, and to assist his ghosting: he was ready to leave the country the next week, after applying what he had learned after begging his uncle to sit down with him to help him study. The ordeal caused him to sleepover and be a temporary  _ burden _ — Iruka had slapped his head and said  _ no, _ he  _ wasn’t _ a burden— then they’d go to school with each other every morning for the past month. Although, just as with anyone he was comfortable with, blabbering and joking around came first. It was a miracle he’d gotten to the top of the ranks that fast. 

The next Monday, he no longer went to class, taking the early exams in front of the librarian, then left school early. For the most part, it had been all breezy and exciting when the foreign type of (school) stress took over. 

Naruto never bothered to visit his class, and thank God for that; distractions came to him too easily. It was safe to assume he would be chatting away with Kiba and replacing study-memories with stupid, uselss banter.

It went like that for the rest of the week, and before long his flight was the next day. 

His results rightfully were given early. Naruto felt smug, seeing all bright numbers in neat strokes that went no lower than ninety. It had pleased his mother, and she explained that they’d take him with them anyway, but after hearing his determination she had kept quiet about such a fact.  _ ‘Maybe I’ll do it again,’  _ she chuckled, giving Naruto a hard slap on the back. 

It led to good, all in all. A month vacation from non-family relationships for a while to set his feelings on the right path. 

Or so he thought. 

It was never the same for Sasuke. 

Goddamned _ Sasuke.  _ How were they ever friends? 

He could only speculate why sorting out his feelings for Sasuke took much, much longer than a week, and was overall much difficult to even understand. 

“Hey, dumbass,” someone said beside him. His internal reminiscing must’ve been showing outwardly. 

He turned to Shikamaru, who had a finger to his cheek. He retracts when Naruto finally pays him attention, slapping the annoying hand away. 

“What?” 

They had been blindly walking (only Naruto, really), until they were back indoors, at the same hall they were in earlier. The sun was no longer high and bright up the sky, but rather low, the weakened rays softly passing through large, art-filled windows. 

“You were snarling like a dog,” Neji explains, shifting on his feet as he spoke to the two. It seemed like this was their chance to split up and meet up again later. Obito must’ve said they didn’t need to be together until tomorrow. Neji tapped his feet impatiently, “so? We aren’t exchanging in contacts?” 

“Oh, right, right. Instagram? Line? Twitter?” Naruto chips, reaching down to his pants to get his phone. He starts to frantically pat down all parts of him when he doesn’t feel it where it usually was. “Uh, right, just a second…” 

“Seriously?” Naruto’s two companions already had their phones out, holding it above each other’s to perhaps scan some qr codes. 

Sighing in defeat, it sinks it that Naruto did not, in fact, have his phone with him. But, with Karin. In her backpack. “Write down my… username…” 

Naruto groans, realizing that his choice of usernames were much too high for his own memorizing ability. A stunner, Naruto was, managing exams easily like that when he couldn’t memorize his own username. A bunch of random letters and numbers he’d set as his online identity? He notes to change it later. “I forgot,” he groaned, rubbing his face in light self-loathing. “I can find it through someone else’s account,” he says. “Gimme.” 

Shikamaru plops his phone on Naruto’s outstretched hand, face up with the Twitter search bar on hand. Naruto quickly sorts his memories, looking for at least  _ one _ handle he’d interacted with enough to remember. 

“S….sas….u…k…e…. Uchi….ha…” He mumbles unconsciously. 

With all their talking, Naruto could print out a good physical hundred-ish miles with their chats, and perhaps a couple hundred hours of unrecorded calls. Before, of course, for lack of better word, their ‘falling out’. It was also nice sometimes, that Sasuke wasn’t very creative. He was straightforward, yet complex, but none Naruto was against with— it was quite endearing, even. Regardless of everything, he felt a little giddy. 

But of course, Sasuke was a private person. Therefore, all his accounts would be private too. Sheepishly, he hands the phone back, a little embarrassed under the exasperated gaze of his friends. 

Naruto scratches the back of his head, laughing, “tomorrow! Promise.” 

—

“Where’s my phone,” Naruto exhales, after running towards Karin, who stood by one of the toilets. Naruto was a little too full after their lunch, making the running more tiring than it usually was.

“Bitch?” He finishes. 

Not moving her head, she takes her attention away from her phone, but condescendingly raising her eyebrow to acknowledge her idiot cousin. “I threw it in the toilet.” 

“Oh no!” Naruto gasps, slapping two hands on his mouth as he stares wide eyed at her. “Give it,” he said, dropping his hands to his hips as he leaned over his cousin, probably trying to look intimidating. Judging from her reaction, a roll of eyes and a sigh, he looked annoying. And stupid. A frown overcomes his face. 

“Karin,” a familiar voice cuts right when the girl was about to hand the phone. The same, deep, husky voice that never failed to get his attention. 

Ah, fuck. 

Fuck. Fuck! 

Soon— maybe  _ too soon— _ he’d have to face the unspoken attraction both of them were deathly afraid of. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tried to be xtra careful with this one, hopefully there aren't any weird wrong time frame stuff
> 
> if i had stuck to my 3-day update, this would be the 9/10th chapter. LOL i really am fucking prolonging this huh 💀💀💀
> 
> gonna get back to sasuke POV next


	8. Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unedited

Sasuke had assumed that if he stayed with Karin long enough, it would inevitably bring him to Naruto. 

And when it came to planning, he was rarely ever wrong. Rarely did he ever get cold feet, either. 

Naruto perhaps always fit snug into that narrow column of factors that made Sasuke’s ‘rare’ into  _ ‘now’.  _

Now, as in, right now. In front of each other, to each other. At each other. 

“Sasuke,” Karin had spoken first, right after Naruto broke their stare. He turned away as well. “I assume both of you got amnesia?” She mused, “Naruto, this is Sasuke. Sasuke, this is uh, my idiot cousin, Naruto.”

Of course. Karin may have brought Naruto to him, but the fact never specified it would make everything much more awkward. 

No, it was them— him and Naruto— that made everything awkward.

“Right,” Karin stiffly chuckled, shifting on her feet, stepping backwards. “I’m,” she hummed, “…Gonna get back to the hall…” 

Naruto visibly perked up, snatching the phone from Karin’s palm. “Yes! Me too,” he grinned, droplets of sweat slipping down his temple. He shuffled to step away with Karin, but it was enough time for Sasuke to gather up some courage and forget embarrassment. 

Embarrassment was a useless feeling, Itachi taught him. Own up to reality, never overestimate yourself… Friendship is about emotional vulnerability… 

_ The world doesn’t revolve around you.  _

But now, it felt like it did. Like they were in a movie, that time froze around them and that his future would be set with this decision. 

Maybe he’d give Itachi a hug for being so influential, stupid wise words from a twenty-one year old sticking to him like glitter under a nail. 

“Naruto.” 

He wrapped a firm grip around the blond’s wrist. It felt different, leading the situation when it was usually Naruto who grabbed his wrist and said sorry. Ha, reminiscing. Sasuke should give it a laugh when all goes right. 

Naruto looked at him, then at Karin, who froze when Sasuke moved. 

“Yeah, bye,” Karin smiled, turned, and skipped away. 

Now, they looked back at each other. Eye to eye. 

Both of them had hit a growth spurt, and were continuously getting much taller, perhaps still in the process of it. The golden age fifteens and sixteens were. 

“Yes…?” Naruto looked at him as if he were crazy, which wasn’t a foreign look (what the idiot considered weird was studying on the weekends), but the sight of it chipped away a little of his courage. His heart was beating erratically, which was strange; as it something he only felt right before his turn to speak in a debate. 

Okay, courage, check. Things to say, however? Forgotten. 

Instead, he opted for the basics of communication, “Hi.” He dropped Naruto’s wrist, knowing the boy wouldn’t run anymore. 

“Y-Yeah, hi, Sasuke.” 

Naruto faltering made Sasuke wonder if he was forcing his agenda too much. But what did Naruto know, anyway? All Sasuke asked for was for them to talk and not  _ what _ to talk about. It was a surprise the blond didn’t want to even talk.

“Uh, did you read my texts?” He asked, as though he hadn’t seen the obvious indications that the boy had obviously read it. “Naruto?” Sasuke pushed, when silence stayed for a few seconds. 

They were facing each other, maintaining eye contact instead of conversation. Watching every small change and twitch in Naruto’s face, Sasuke feels the hesitance could actually be giddiness. It could be the power of being in the giving end of crushing, pulled unwillingly into an illusion. But Naruto was always giddy with him; he could only assume so much, given that the last time they'd seen each other was through cold, wild eyes. 

Sasuke’s anger had long dissipated to wacky, shameful— and certainly  _ useless— _ embarrassment. He feels a blush overwhelm his face, remembering all the stupid ways he’s acted towards his closest friend. 

When too much silence passes again, “Na—”

“I did, I’ve read it. I did. Uh, read it,” Naruto said, words cut off as he vibrated in, hopefully, giddiness. 

“Why haven’t you replied, then?” Sasuke asked, and it must’ve been the wrong thing to say, seeing how Naruto’s face drops, wrinkling into a frown. 

Naruto took a step back, an action of annoyance, and the rest of his face screamed disbelief as he crossed his arms. Then, in a tone that was alien to him, something he didn’t even know Naruto was capable of, Naruto snarled, “You haven’t replied to anything I’ve said. It’s only fair.” 

Anger threatened to resurface again, but Sasuke willed it down. He was the one who started it, therefore he would be the one to end it. However, he wouldn’t let himself bend his back down for Naruto too much— not when he wasn’t the one currently acting like a little bitch. “And  _ you’re _ being petty,” Sasuke glared, pointing an accusing finger at Naruto, lessening the distance between them with the half outstretched arm. 

They were still by the toilet, many others walking around the bickering teens. Naruto scooted to the side, and Sasuke happily followed. Even with as idiotic and emotion driven the two were, they were still rational enough not to disturb others when they didn’t deserve it. 

Sasuke placed a hand on his hip instead. Sasuke pressed his lips into a thin line, staring at Naruto expectantly.

Naruto tightened his curled arms, as if to protect himself from Sasuke’s pestering words. A tinge of expression returns to his face, and he sighs, “It wasn’t me who started it.” 

“You—,” Sasuke nearly yelled at the accurate accusation. 

That moment, music from the halls had started to play, gently telling them something was going to happen soon— probably the closing ceremony; Clicking his tongue, Sasuke takes a peek at his wrist watch; he was nearly out of time for today. He just needed to make sure that the next time they’d confront each other, they would have time. 

“I what, Sasuke?” Naruto pressed, squinting his eyes and lifting an eyebrow in a skeptical gaze. He dared Sasuke to continue, dared him to blame for what was not his fault. 

“Nothing,” Sasuke forced his eyes to soften, hoping not to prompt another chain reaction of unnecessary anger. He tries to humble himself, to recall the times  _ he _ was the one at fault, that he was the one who brought this pointless drift between them; and that it was always Naruto who was the one to try to bring things the way they were again, and again. 

Not this time, he promised himself. _ He swore. _ That this wasn’t all movie magic but a logical try and honest try in undoing.  _ In a resolution.  _

“Are we still…  _ friends?” _ Sasuke asked, though it should’ve been a question he asked last, after everything was settled. When he finally accepts the fact, and it would hopefully bring his unyielding crush into an end. If he established this now, neither of them— mostly Naruto— would have no reason to run. 

Naruto unfolded his arms, dropping them to his sides as he eyed Sasuke carefully. “I… I’d like…  _ to think so… _ ” Naruto mumbled, so quietly that if Sasuke weren’t paying rapt attention he would’ve messed it all. Sasuke nearly sighs in relief; they were far from done. They’d have many days to talk to each other, and even a time he could convince the right people for him and Naruto to skip an activity, or even a day. 

It wasn’t the right time, but his heart tumbled at the thought. 

“I’m still mad at you,” Naruto said, glaring with no genuine heat, and stood straight. 

“Right.” 

“Yeah,” Naruto nodded, cocking his head to the side. There was an innocent look on his face, a trace of tenderness in his eyes, but the rest of his posture told Sasuke not to get too comfortable yet. “Well, I…  _ we _ need to go…” 

—

The next time they met was far too long away, and the last day before the event would rest for the weekend. And right at the end of it, as well. It was already dark out, and Sasuke was getting even more hasty and nervous. He may be staying here for a month, but the event only catered to his batch for two weeks, and a whole other two without his uncle; who still had responsibilities as a professor. 

There was a sickly warmth that forced everyone to stay indoors, and Sasuke was sure Naruto was there. He scanned the hall, getting much hurried when music had started to play. 

Right across the hall. Always so damn far away. 

When he’d finally gotten their attention on the same plane, he was disappointed to say that nothing had progressed. It was much too brief— Naruto kept babbling and simply wouldn’t stop to listen to Sasuke. 

_ “Ha, have you tried the morning cinnamon buns? Have you?”  _

_ “Naruto,” Sasuke tried, but the boy continued as if he never spoke. He could’ve yelled, but they were in the presence of strangers, and the odd-looking friends that stood near Naruto. Sasuke simply stared, hoping the blond would stop and notice, and he may have noticed it; just chose to ignore it. Naruto continued to blabber.  _

_ “I can, uh, maybe, bring you some. Or not! You can get them yourself, right? Obito can get it for you…”  _

Before that, Sasuke would approach Naruto during breaks or when their teams would occasionally bump against each other, the idiot’s eyes would widen and he’d skitter away. It had pulled on his heartstrings, for all the wrong ways. It truly hurt to get ignored, and he tried to imagine it as what Naruto felt. 

Sasuke wasn’t able to go too much out of his way, either. Shisui had dragged him away everyday, before going home to the backstage buffets Obito bragged about, insisting that he couldn’t go munch on food alone. There were no cinnamon buns, nor anything that looked too good for his uncle to go out of his way just to share. It seemed as if he bragged about the buffets just to say ‘we eat more than you’ rather than ‘we eat better than you’. 

Well, the week had gone terribly fast for Sasuke, and it was now the weekend. 

A good, hot Saturday, where he sat, excluded from his uncle and his fellow professors. Where he sat, across Naruto, as his  _ unwanted— _ at least Sasuke thinks so— cousin Shisui sat with them. 

With Shisui, Sasuke wasn’t sure when to jump Naruto with a proper conversation. It was a weekend and none of them could run. He just had to push Shisui away to find the perfect time to talk. 

“So, Naruto,” Shisui smiles, the call pulling Naruto’s eyes away from Karin, who he stared at with pleading eyes. Sasuke was forced to explain what happened between them, though he had only excused it as a long-term disagreement. It didn’t take much to figure out that Naruto did  _ not _ want to be there. “How tall are you?” 

“I dunno,” Naruto shrugged, eyes shooting from Sasuke to Shisui. “Pretty tall.” 

Shisui barked out laughter, and Sasuke had a fleeting thought that he and Naruto would be wonderful friends if he weren’t there. “If you shaved— this is Sasuke,” Shisui said, throwing a quick point at his young cousin, “if you shaved Sasuke’s head, I have a feeling you’d look taller.”

Naruto let out polite laughter, “Yeah, I know him,” he glanced at Sasuke, “his hair’s part of his personality, can’t take it away from him.”

Sasuke reacts enough to show he was paying attention, at the same time keeping the bored look on his face. Naruto was terrible at hiding emotions, and the way he spoke slowly and humble bothered Sasuke. 

“Oh, you guys know each other?” 

Naruto nodded, “yeah. We’re classmates.” 

Shisui turned to Sasuke, frowning. “Why haven’t you told me? I look like an idiot.” 

Sasuke rolled his eyes, splitting the second into pieces to think of the right thing to say. “You always look like an idiot.” 

“Wow,” Shisui gasped, and for a moment acted as if he fell for the bait. “Wouldn’t even  _ think _ you guys knew each other.” 

“Hn,” Sasuke glared, not knowing what to say without giving too much information. 

“Like strangers,” Shisui sighed, turning to Naruto. Sasuke could see the edges of a fake, exaggerated, sympathetic expression. “I understand, Naruto. My cousin here is a little bitch, I’m sorry for you.  _ So _ sorry!” 

Naruto squeezed out friendly laughter, not disagreeing or agreeing. Shisui doesn’t let any dead air poison the atmosphere, quickly moving on to get to know Naruto better. Sasuke only answers (very dryly) when asked, and soon, food enters the table. 

“Shisui,” Sasuke hisses as soon as Naruto excuses himself to go to the toilet. Good food, yay, but it was three in the afternoon and there was no guarantee he’d still have time when Shisui was always fucking there. Kushina had come by and said that they would go by a market to buy some fruits. 

“What?” Shisui stared as he picked meat from between his teeth. 

“Can you… go hang out with Obito, for a while?” 

“Sure,” he agreed easily, shrugging as he continued his hygiene business. 

Sasuke’s eyes widen, a little shocked at the effortless compliance. “Really?” 

“You like him?” 

“ _ No, _ ” Sasuke snapped. 

Shisui snorted, as if his Sasuke’s feelings were obvious to the rest of the world but Naruto. “Whatever. Do I leave now?” 

Sasuke shook his head, “Later, I’ll tell you.” To which Shisui nodded at, dropping the toothpick on the clean plate. 

—

  
  


Despite Sasuke ordering his cousin to stay away, the two idiots stood beside each other with Shisui occasionally snickering and turning to laugh at Sasuke over his shoulder. 

The market was bustling, and Sasuke could barely see the heads of the adults they’d come with. He no longer cared whether or not he was going to get lost, he just wanted to get lost with Naruto. The previous weeks had led up to exactly this and it was getting ruined by his cousin acting like a little cunt. 

“Umph.” 

Sasuke had bumped into someone. “Sorry, sir,” he rubbed his nose, looking up to golden hair. “Ah, just you.” 

Naruto turned to look down at him, Sasuke a little bent down in pain. “Where’s Shisui?” 

Sasuke lifted his head up to look for their missing companion, but only strangers and many shoppers were in their sights. He lifted his chin to look up for Obito, a tall man but with common spiky cut hair. It didn’t help that literally everyone had dark hair, the orange lights doing no help in their search. 

Naruto’s parents, on the other hand, he could barely see them… but they were there. Far away, but if they made for their run right now, they would be safe. 

Naruto wasn’t looking where he was looking, but past his shoulder; perhaps to keep an eye out for Shisui. 

Sasuke wasn’t fond of getting lost in a country he wasn’t well versed in, but… they were alone, and…

Peeping up again, he catches Kushina’s blob of red hair disappearing right at a corner, and Shisui could be somewhere amongst the population. 

“Let’s move to the side, first,” Sasuke said, fighting the urge to grab the blond’s wrist when he hesitantly eyed Sasuke. He led the way, in between stalls and around, scooting around people and occasionally looking back just to make sure Naruto was still following. 

Eventually, they make their way out the bustling crowd, onto a dim lighted area framed by autumnal trees and pale statues. It was quiet, serene, and looked as if they were right at the exit of the market; a fair number of people scurrying out with plastic bags and never looking back. 

Sasuke stood by a bench, touching to see if it was wet. 

“Don’t sit,” he said, retracting his hand, not looking up from the bench. “Wet,” he explained, when Naruto struggled to balance from abruptly stopping himself. 

Then, silence fell over them. Only the muffled sounds of bright excitement could be heard, with the occasional accompaniment of cheerful vendors. 

Sasuke stood beside a tree, while Naruto leaned against the same one. They were far enough to minimize awkwardness, but close enough to invite expectancy. If Sasuke thought his heart was beating stupidly earlier, what he felt at the moment certainly didn’t compare. 

He opened his mouth to speak, “Naruto—”

“Do—”

Sasuke sighed, slumping against the tree, bumping shoulders with Naruto. He feels the boy flinch, but he tries his best not to regret the movement. “You first.” 

Sasuke can see Naruto scratch his head in his peripheral, “Uh, yeah, do you have a phone?” 

Now, it was his turn to flinch. Naruto  _ did _ say that he was still mad, all Sasuke had done to acknowledge it was agree. “Where’s yours?” He opted for instead. 

“Aha,” Naruto sheepishly chuckled, “I have a habit of… giving it to someone when I don’t use a bag.” 

He turns his head to Naruto, and sure enough, all the idiot wore was the same orange bomber jacket with a weird shirt and black pants. No bag. Not to say he looked bad, though. As long as Naruto stayed  _ Naruto _ — corny, persistent, the loud-mouth idiot that wanted to stick to him for as long as they lived, he would always suffer this painful, unreciprocated crush. 

Despite the bullshit he’d caused, and despite the Naruto amplifying it, the world always seemed to force them back together. 

“Sasuke,” Naruto sounded like he had repeated his words, making Sasuke snap his head up and instantly connecting their line of sight. It didn’t help that they were the same height, too. 

He turned away, hand sneaking down his side to get to his phone. Sasuke does his best to pray no heat reaches his face. “I’ll call my uncle.” 

Naruto nodded. And to his surprise, said, “I’m still mad, ya know?” 

Sasuke froze, staring at the contacts of his screen. He switched it off, sighing as he slumped against the tree, making their shoulders share warmth even more. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, after a few moments; stunned to see when Naruto hadn’t torn away from their earlier eye contact. He feels himself waver against the intense gaze, something he should’ve gotten used to after so long; after realizing that the tornado in his stomach was not explainable science, but a barbaric flurry of passionate feelings that would tear all his walls again and again. 

“Eh,” Naruto coughed, a fist to his mouth, muffling his words, “Forgiven?” 

Sasuke was surprised, a sudden rush of warmth that made his heart beat exceedingly fast. He was overwhelmed at the way things progressed rather smoothly. “Oh, well, okay. Wow.” 

“Yeah. As much of a dickbag you were being… I dunno,” he shrugged, “Pretty easy to forgive you… or, it’s just me. Or you being, well, Sasuke. I just have some questions. That I totally understand that you wouldn’t want to answer—”

“No,” Sasuke cut him off. Naruto was making this much easier for him, just as how he would keep their whole ‘friendship boat’ afloat. “Ask,” he finished. 

Naruto chuckled, looking away from Sasuke to stare at the blurred lights of the market. “You saying sorry is a pretty big thing, ya know?”

Not saying ever saying sorry could be considered a good thing for a perfect person, which Sasuke certainly was not. His sorries always came in the form of tender eyes and careful compliance. Just looking at Naruto with a sad frown till he understood he was asking for forgiveness. Pathetic, really, but it seemed neither had complaints.

Sasuke stayed silent, deciding that it didn’t matter if he got his hands a little dirty, swiping away all the water off the bench. He sat on one side, leaving space for Naruto. 

Naruto doesn’t say anything, still staring ahead. 

“Okay,” Naruto began, “The basics. Why’d you act like that? You come home from your competition and started being a bitch. Ignoring me  _ and _ my messages, glaring whenever we were in the same room,” he paused, eyes twinkling along with the surrounding lights. Then, “I really don’t get it.” 

Sasuke squirmed, and Naruto must’ve finally felt the lack of warmth on his side, finally moving to sit on the bench. Plopping down, he continued, “I really thought we could resolve it that weekend,” he laughed sadly, still looking ahead. “But you wouldn’t even let me talk to you!” 

“About that,” Sasuke hesitated, feeling incredibly foolish. It was falling harder on him than it had before. “It’s not often one gets emotionally bamboozled, so I overreacted.” 

Naruto turned to him, looking confused. “Emotionally bamboozled? What the hell does that even mean?” He cocked an eyebrow, “I don’t even know what I did, yet you’re saying you overreacted? It shouldn’t be that bad if you say you just overreacted, then. Tell me.”

“You…” 

“I…?” Naruto pushed. “Emotional vulnerability, _ Sasuke,  _ emotional vulnerability,” he said encouraging Sasuke with words the latter preached yet never practiced. Sasuke tried not to think about the tattered yet familiar way Naruto referred to him, tried not to pull himself into the past just yet. 

“Hotaru,” Sasuke said simply. 

“Oh, yeah, she’s nice. What about her?” 

Sasuke grimaced.  _ Come on, Naruto, solve the puzzle. _ “I was still…” 

“Still what?” Naruto asked, in a tone that compelled Sasuke to look at him properly. “Come on, we’re at this point already. What’s the big deal—?” 

“You got a girlfriend.” 

Naruto’s eyes widened, looking baffled as though he’d finally understood. Hopefully he did. Or didn’t. Sasuke didn’t know. “And?” 

“And I was still…” Sasuke sighed, “Trying to fall out of my _ crushing-on-you  _ state,” he whispered, as if hoping for Naruto not to hear. 

“Is that so?” A sprinkle of cockiness in the voice, and Sasuke didn’t know what to make of it. 

Annoyance pricks the surface of Sasuke’s skin, he shakes it away; he could express that later. 

There’s this excited look on the blond’s face, and Sasuke  _ wants _ to think it’s what he thinks it is, but it could be the power of feelings yet again.  _ “You were jealous?” _ He says, a statement disguised as a question; tilting his head to the side, a large smile on his face, he innocently blinks at Sasuke. 

Sasuke snorts, not denying nor proving anything. He looks to the ground, where remnants of his pride and ego lay. He thought his heart had calmed down after a little conversation, but it never slowed down. “Any more questions?” 

Naruto is smiling again, for reasons Sasuke didn’t want to know. It felt as if he were only being laughed at. 

“Why’d you cry?” 

Sasuke was instantly bombarded with memories, none of which he could recall himself shedding shameful tears. “What?” 

“You cried.”

“When?” 

Naruto rolled his eyes, a smile no longer in place. “When we fought.” 

It must’ve been one of those times he was hit with a strong wave of emotion. Perhaps when he was one-sidedly punching Naruto? All he could remember was throwing and hitting until blood spilled and things felt wet. He numbed a little, the wind blowing away the rest of his shattered pride. 

Naruto must’ve sensed his inner turmoil, scooting closer to Sasuke, arm hesitating as it wrapped around the boy’s shoulders. Sasuke moved as though he wanted to pull away, but Naruto kept a firm grip.

Then, he softly shook him, squeezing his shoulder, “Hey,  _ emotional vulnerability,  _ right?” Naruto’s teasing spirit had immediately lightened up his mood. 

Sasuke sighed tiredly, “You’re getting redundant, idiot.” It felt way too cheesy for two high schoolers comforting each other in dim light. Gawky and alien. 

“Ha, enough to keep it in your head, right, Sas’?” 

“Sorry about that.” 

“About what?” 

Sasuke pushed him away just as he started to get too comfortable. Too warm. It wasn’t helping him get rid of his crush. “About punching you, about being a ghoster. I’m sorry.” 

Naruto retreated his arm and dropped it between his legs, leaning forward with elbows pressed to his thighs. “I already forgave you, remember? Just wanted some insight,” Naruto smiled at him. 

“I know, but, still, I’m sorry. I was being really dumb,” Sasuke exhaled, wiping the palms that had started to sweat on his jeans. Cringe crawled up his legs and up to his neck. He couldn’t believe he’d done that, to the point he’d essentially driven Naruto away. 

“Wow, Sasuke, turning sixteen matured you well and well, huh?” 

Sasuke broke into his first smile of the day. “Can’t say the same for you,” he joked. 

Naruto laughed, throwing his head back and kept the position to look for stars. Sasuke does the same, but most of the sky was covered in clouds and thin tree branches. He looks at Naruto’s profile instead, patient for what is to come. 

“Still friends?” Sasuke murmured, not sure if he wanted to ask. 

Naruto heard it, anyway. “Of course,” He grinned, turning just a little to enable eye contact. Something in those eyes told him there was much more to come, much more to experience, if only he’d let it happen. 

He didn’t know what to do just yet, didn’t know what that switch would be. 

Sasuke’s heart immediately returns to hyperdrive, unable to tear away from the blue eyes he hoped only shone the way it did right now for him. 

Oh how he wished for such feelings to end. But when given moments like these, such sad, yearning thoughts, disappear. 

  
  


—

  
  


“You deleted some messages,” Sasuke started, as soon as they started to make their way back into the market. Shisui had called him and had given explicit directions for them to make their way back into the area. Apparently, they were sitting and eating plenty of fruit to waste time. “What were they?” 

Naruto shrugged, standing much closer to Sasuke than they would’ve originally done only an hour ago. Their hands occasionally brushed against each other’s and— Sasuke didn’t have the will to pull away. “Some dumb shit.” 

They made their way, Sasuke occasionally glancing at his phone to find their next turn. The lights seemed to have brightened, and it could’ve been some stupid longing feeling; but it felt as if he’d never feel like he were in the dark again. 

His good mood doesn’t falter, even after seeing Shisui arrogantly smirk at him when they meet eyes. Now, he could properly introduce his cousin to his dear friend. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my dudes, i was thinking of stretching this and creating another drift between them, but. like. i thought, are humans--teens/best friends-- really that incapable of simple resolution? 
> 
> anyway i truly believe sasuke is the most emotional character in the series, dare i say even more than naruto. just very complex and to a point... irrational. 
> 
> and dw lol there're more things needed to be addressed.
> 
> P.S: "embarrassment is a useless feeling" i first learned through itachi THROUGH 'an awkward position' by >>calciseptine<<
> 
> gotta be one of my fav fics dudes, go read it <3


	9. No Escape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> was supposed 2 update yesterday but was outside lolz
> 
> unedited

“Can’t we go to your house?” 

Ever since coming back from Singapore, the two had gone back to their usual routine. Go to school. Talk at school. Naruto’s Friday lunches with Sasuke had turned into Friday lunches for soccer with the team. Go home together, sometimes with Sakura, usually. Occasional detours to buy cheap onigiri, usually. Go to Naruto’s house when Sasuke wasn’t too tired— Naruto, surprised to see that Sasuke had asked to drop cram school, saying it was tiring when his expression clearly yelled he wanted to participate in ‘hangouts in the Uzumaki household’. 

Naruto was happy, to say the least. He had rubbed the bottom of his nose in a show of smugness when Sakura had complained about how he was stealing Sasuke away.

Sasuke, on the other hand, would occasionally ignore their routine, explaining that he wanted Sakura’s company. Of course, Naruto had begged to tag along the first time, but was thoroughly rejected by both of them. No amount of professional pouting or whining had shaken them. 

“No,” Sasuke sighed, for the hundredth time. Naruto’s face instantly dropped. 

“Come on,” he grumbled, “Just for a while!” 

Naruto doesn’t even remember what they did the last time they were in Sasuke’s house— he had probably been constantly shushed by Sasuke. Now, however, after Sasuke had shared the story of him taking initiative to better his and his parent’s relationship, Naruto’s goal was to go to the place. 

Sasuke glares up at him, closing his notes and arranging them in his bag. “There’s nothing to do in my house. No games. Nothing.” 

“Can’t friends just chill and eat some snacks?” He said in return, “Besties thing, right?” 

‘ _Besties,’_ he hears the boy echo with a grimace. Sasuke scrunches up his nose in disgust— which Naruto found terribly cute; he always wanted to take a picture whenever that expression surfaced, but sadly never acting upon the urge. 

“We can do that in your house.” 

“It’s different if we go to yours,” Naruto frowns, “I want to see your room!” 

“I’ll send you pictures.” 

_“Sasukeee,”_ he dragged, as soon as Sasuke stood up and slung his bag over his shoulder. “Just this once?” 

Naruto took a step back, giving Sasuke some space. They unconsciously stood too close to each other sometimes, and it would take a second or two before either noticed. Sasuke happily took the space and started to walk away. Naruto followed after him like a moping puppy, whining and begging for the boy’s attention. 

“Sakura,” Sasuke greeted, walking right in front of the girl. They had been separated for the new school year, Naruto triumphantly bragging the flimsy strip of paper that indicated their seating arrangements at her face. _‘I’m with Sasuke!’_ he’d excitedly sing to her, the words streaming out of his mouth feeling incomplete and almost wrong. With Sasuke, on a chair. Not _with_ with Sasuke. “I’ll be going ahead.” 

A pout broke out in Sakura’s face, one that rivaled Naruto’s. He glares at the girl, a little in suspicion and none in threat. She’d join their lunch together whenever she wasn’t busy with council duties, and oftentimes naturally won Sasuke over when it came to decision-making, just as how he’d have her back when it came to festival ideas; the two of them finding Naruto’s idea of a classic shounen high school festival of a maid cafe- ridiculous. 

When he and Sasuke had finally gotten back to normal, he’d boldly ask Sasuke what caused him to change his mind. 

_“What do you mean?” Sasuke asked, raising an eyebrow, Naruto following the movement and internally praising the graceful rise of it._

_Naruto shook his head, “You came to me, and all. Grabbed my wrist and stuff. Super cheesy.”_

When Sasuke had grabbed his wrist that afternoon, he swore all the hard work he’d done to keep his heart behind his ribcage trickle down the drain. Naruto thought time had stopped for them and that he was given some time to _escape._ Escape from Sasuke? God, evaluating his past self was embarrassing. 

But the moment those fingers touched his skin, he froze. Surprise, anticipation— _simply him wanting to stay,_ he didn’t know why, but it certainly wasn’t the wrong decision. 

Just as he was now, older and clearly fucking _whipped,_ he wanted to squeeze out what he could from just being best friends with Sasuke. His friend had been showing interest (he assumes) on other people and it completely kept him on edge. Complementing their classmates when Sasuke had not once acknowledged him for being right there. Naruto had gotten plenty of praises from his uncle, Sakura and even Ino, but when he’d turned sparkly eyed at Sasuke, all he’d gotten was a grunt. 

_“It wasn’t cheesy,” Sasuke rolled his eyes, “You were trying to run away. What did you want me to do?”_

_“It was pretty damn cheesy,” Naruto chuckled, softly elbowing Sasuke in his side on their way to his house. “I liked it, though. Do it again.”_

_“Idiot.”_

Naruto always wondered what the hell he truly meant when he said that. He replayed the scene again and again until it was imprinted within the walls of his skull. Until Sasuke’s blushing face was the first thought that came into his mind every time he woke up. 

“See you, then,” Sakura simply replied, eyes flickering over Naruto. A second passes and Sasuke makes a move to leave, but apparently Sakura had other plans. What she’d done next wholly caught him off-guard. 

His vision seemed to heighten and his thoughts derailed. 

Sakura grabbed the white collar of Sasuke’s neatly pressed summer uniform, roughly pulling him close— too fucking close, placing a chaste kiss right at the corner— _hopefully_ it’s on the corner— of Sasuke’s lips, because all he can see are the two heads stupidly close to each other. 

Naruto’s eyes widened in shock, wondering what the hell just happened, acting instantly. 

Gasping, his arms shoot forward, wrapping one arm around Sasuke’s chest and jerking him back, his other hand shoving Sakura’s head away. 

Sasuke unceremoniously tumbles onto Naruto’s chest, and Naruto does his best to avoid the head of dark hair by craning his neck. The smell of Sasuke’s hair wafts into his nose, and he would’ve naturally commented on the boy smelling so soft all the fucking time, but glaring at Sakura was his first priority. 

“What the hell, Sakura?” Naruto snarled, looking expectantly at Sasuke, the boy not yet having to react. He doesn’t let go, trying to understand why Sasuke hadn’t pushed Sakura away, let alone glare at anyone. Instead, Sasuke laid still on his current position, looking down as his hair hid his face. All Naruto could see was the bright beginnings of anger on Sasuke’s ears. 

Sakura shrugs, “Sasuke doesn’t seem mad about it.” 

“Sasuke?” Naruto called, waiting for him to say anything. 

Silence passes instead, and apparently it compels Sasuke to move, pushing Naruto’s arms off and walking away from them. 

Naruto, stunned, threw a glare at Sakura before rushing out to chase after his friend, ignoring the curious glances of their classmates. 

Sasuke was already down the hallway, going down the stairs on the side after waving at someone. 

Naruto jogs, and soon realizes that Sasuke was waving at his ex girlfriend. Hotaru notices him, and he curses his presence for being a little too out there and grabbing her attention when she had been discussing things with her friends. And oftentimes with friends, most of the attention is shared only within the group; not at a guy quietly walking by. 

“Naruto,” she calls, and he internally cringes. Things were still much too awkward between them, even after being forced to apologize to her. Maybe it was simple nerves to his first relationship break. It still didn’t feel good. “Why was Sasuke in a hurry?” Her eyes brighten, “Again.” She finished. 

“Dunno, but I need to get him right now,” he replied, shuffling in impatience. 

Naruto was an expressive person, and Hotaru was clearly ignoring it. “Can you calm down around me?” She sighed, annoyed. “Nearly a year since we’ve broken up. Chillax.” 

“I know, it’s just,” he pressed his lips into a thin line, “Awkward?” 

“You’re _making_ it awkward,” Hotaru rolls her eyes, then, with a sigh, “Whatever. Go chase after your boyfriend.”

Taken aback, Naruto feels a pull to deny. “Not my boyfriend.” 

“Uhuh,” she flicks her hand at him, the action akin to shooing away flies flying around a bowl of fruit. “Go get your borderline boy, friend,” she said, placing a gap between the word, and it spurs his spirit on rather than assure him. 

He groans, and with a final wave, he skitters down the stairs. 

—

_“You need to talk to Hotaru, too,” Sasuke said, sitting on the seat beside Naruto. It was the final day of the event, and essentially the last day they would have to see each other, but Sasuke had no worries whether or not they’d ever meet again._

_He knew they would, after all._

_The boy flinched as if he weren’t expecting it, and Sasuke does his best to empathize— the two of them were dicks towards Hotaru, but, honestly, it was now Naruto’s turn to apologize._

_“When we get back,” he simply replied, boldly dropping a hand to grip Sasuke’s thigh, as if he weren’t the one in need of comfort. Sasuke flinches, surprised, but nevertheless drops his own hand on the tanned one in reassurance._

_—_

_“Huh. What do we have here?” Hotaru cocks her head to the side, crossing her arms as she patiently waits for Naruto to speak._

_Naruto had pulled her out of class during lunch, and forced Sasuke to stay by his side as he dragged the girl behind the same staircase she’d drag him to. Rather unnecessary, really, and Hotaru wasn’t afraid to express so._

_“Seriously? here?” She snorts amusedly, glancing at Sasuke with a light tilt in her lips. Sasuke does his best to look back at her, hands stuffed into his pockets while Naruto tries his best to find what words to say._

_“To bring back memories?” Naruto choked out, almost as nervous as when he was stuck in suggestive moments with Sasuke._

_“Memory brought back!” She laughed, sounding genuine, but It only scared Naruto. He stared at her, a little wide eyed as he turned to give Sasuke a look. His companion only shrugs. “When you rejected me down here?”_

_Naruto droops. “I didn’t mean to—”_

_“I don’t care, Naruto… we agreed that it would be some trial of yours, right?”_

_“I’m sorry for that, too,” Naruto chuckles, his palms starting to sweat under Hotaru’s scrutinizing stare. “And, uh, ignoring… you…” He whispers the end, faltering more and more._

_Thankfully, Hotaru hears him and spares him from more panic. “Okay,” she said._

_“Okay? You forgive me?”_

_“Eh,” she curls her lips. “I still like you.”_

_To that, both Naruto and Sasuke freeze up and it forces out a snort from Hotaru. “I don’t think he can do anything about that,” Sasuke intercepts, and the look on his face a moment later shows regret._

_“I know,” Hotaru smiles, making the two of them feel incredibly more shy. They were jumping into their own conclusions, feeling as if there was more to say than just sorry. “We’re all dumb,” she adds._

_Naruto nods in agreement, the whole situation stupid from the start._

_Silence passes, tense even though the necessary words were exchanged._

_“Sp,” Hotaru speaks as though she had no worries, resting a hand on her hip, “Are you guys finally together?”_

_Naruto immediately jumps on the defensive, eyes jumping to and from the now blushing boy behind him and the smug girl. “Wh… what?!” He sputters, and it makes her laugh again._

_“Just kidding,” she sings, giving Sasuke a look. Naruto follows her line of sight, watching as Sasuke gulps, giving him his own tentative glance before scurrying away._

_“What the hell? Hey!” He takes one long step before stopping, throwing Hotaru a desperate look._

_Shrugging, she arched her eyebrows as if she were asking what the fuck Naruto was waiting for. “Well? Go get him.”_

  
  


—

  
  


“Sasuke!” 

Naruto watched as Sasuke came to an abrupt stop. Naruto slows down, happy that Sasuke had stopped, but a second passes only for a biker to pass by; Sasuke hadn’t stopped for him, but for a bike. Naruto frowns and picks up his pace. 

Thankfully, Sasuke didn’t run to escape him. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked, walking beside Sasuke. He confusedly takes in the still red ears and equally flushed but not scrunched face; okay, so Sasuke wasn’t angry? 

“Jeez, I don’t know,” was Sasuke’s snarky reply, gripping his bag strap tightly. 

It registers that Sasuke wasn’t in any way angry, but, rather, embarrassed. Right, of course, “Did she… kiss you?” Naruto asked, his own cheeks reddening, mirroring his friend’s expression. 

“She always does,” Sasuke sighs, and it makes Naruto stammer unintelligibly. Sasuke rolls his eyes, “That wasn’t why…” He paused. 

“Why what?” Naruto encouraged, looking up ahead as he crossed his hands behind his neck, using his arms to hide his own warm face. 

Sasuke shakes his head, and Naruto doesn’t push him. Sasuke would eventually express his worries later, saying he needed to gather his thoughts before talking. 

Soon, after walking a few hundred meters, Naruto had assumed they were going to his place, continuing to walk even as they passed Sasuke’s home. His own home was a couple blocks ahead, so he’d turn back to see if Sasuke was still following. To his surprise, Sasuke wasn’t, and was instead standing in front of his home as he eyed Naruto questioningly. 

“You wanted to go to my house, right?” 

A grin stretched across Naruto’s face, and he skipped back towards his friend in excitement, “Yup!” 

“Don’t make a mess,” Sasuke reminded, pushing the gate open while the blond happily trailed after him. 

“Of course,” Naruto grinned, his heart fluttering and mind rumbling, “Of course!” He repeated, stepping into the house as Sasuke stepped aside to let him in.

Sasuke set his shoes neatly by a step, walking ahead while Naruto kept his own. 

“Ugh,” Naruto hears Sasuke scowl as he enters the living room, “What are you doing here?” 

Naruto frantically chases after him, looking over Sasuke’s shoulder, seeing the boy’s older brother on the sofa smiling over his shoulder at them. 

“Oh, figured it was you, Naruto,” Itachi said, smiling with a suspicious glint in his eyes. 

“Psychic much, Itachi?” Naruto huffed, crossing his arms as he stood to prevent himself fully. 

Sasuke tugged the end of Naruto’s untucked uniform, urging him to follow, all the while muttering, “It’s because you’re obnoxious as hell, idiot.”

Naruto, not taking any offense whatsoever, grin still plastered on his face as he waved stupidly at the older youth on the sofa, he let himself get dragged away. 

Now upstairs, Naruto pushes past Sasuke to find the boy’s room, kicking the door open. “Still boring as usual, aren’t ya?” He commented, taking in the pale gray walls, eyes skimming over the much too large bed on one corner of the room, a wooden desk right beside it with a cabinet right across. Only one band poster hung high on a wall, one that Naruto had given him a few years back. 

Sasuke’s eye twitched in familiar annoyance, shutting the door behind him as he entered the room to a blond idiot making himself comfortable on the bed. 

“What’s Itachi doing here?” Naruto asked, rolling on the bed as he messed up the neatly spread sheets that Sasuke had specifically laid down to keep cold. “Thought he was a college student, or something.” 

“He’s still a college student,” Sasuke tiredly says, his mental list of ‘reasons why Naruto shouldn’t be allowed into his home’ growing longer as the blond repositioned his pillows. “He does whatever he wants most of the time.” 

“Why’s he here, though?” Naruto laid starfish on the bed, “You’d think a college student would spend more time with their friends.” 

“Itachi is a loser,” he simply replied. His brother was an enigma that could solve itself. 

“Not very nice to call your brother a loser,” Naruto said, not a hint of sympathy in his tone. 

Sasuke doesn’t reply, dropping his bag onto his desk chair as he usually did, keeping note of Naruto’s little movements. He sits on the bed just as Naruto got up to start carefully inspecting the room. 

“Nothing changed,” Naruto whispers, fingers stroking over the poster. Sasuke hums in soft agreement. Nothing has changed with his room— but they both knew that they themselves have. 

“Huh,” Naruto whips Sasuke’s closet open, observing the clothes that hung neatly, most pressed and smooth. Majority of them laid on the grayscale, some hints of other colors obvious amongst the rest. “Real colorful.” 

Sasuke shrugs, even though Naruto couldn’t see it. 

The blond moves on to another part of the room, to the wooden desk that peacefully sat beside the bed. He brushed by Sasuke’s legs as he strolled by the bed, and amongst the monochrome range of items, something bright blue that laid on the desk stood out. 

“A speaker?” Naruto asked, picking it up and observing it under the light that streamed through the windows. “Why would you get a speaker?”

Sasuke looked right into Naruto’s eyes, and fuck if he wanted to close his curtains just so that he Naruto’s eyes couldn’t look extra good. Sasuke looked away, holding his hand out, asking for the speaker. “Sakura gave it to me, for my birthday.” 

Naruto’s face droops as he hands the cylindrical device on the outstretched hand, “I didn’t greet you back then.” 

“It’s alright,” Sasuke said dismissively. It was long ago. “We weren’t exactly… you know.” 

“Weren’t exactly friends?” He said bluntly, “Sorry about that… Happy birthday?” To which Sasuke snorted at. Naruto looks over at the stack of papers that stood behind the speaker. He lifts one of them up, squinting as he took in the paper’s state. 

“It’s… a… letter?” 

The paper was in a way, crumpled in areas, doodles with ink that was blotched and signs of dried liquids were present. There was messy writing on the other side, one that you couldn’t read without taking a closer look. Naruto doesn’t read it yet, holding it up for Sasuke to see. 

Sasuke sees the familiar light pink paper, which honestly only looked like a plain one the first time he’d seen it, “The letter came with the speaker,” he concluded. Naruto nods, skimming over the paper knowing Sasuke would let him. 

“She’s right,” Naruto said after a moment. 

“What?” Sasuke had forgotten the true contents of the letter, no matter how much he’d appreciated it. 

“Makes everything less lonely,” Naruto put the paper back, the bed dipping as he sat beside Sasuke. He takes the speaker back, turning on his phone and the speaker to connect to it. Naruto plays a song he knew they both liked, setting it on the sheets beside him. Naruto had downloaded the music video, but Sasuke immediately recognized what the song was just from some two second acting. 

_…you gotta get with my friends!_

“Fucking cheesy,” Sasuke huffed, looking at Naruto as he fiddled with the ends of his uniform. It was a song Sasuke had fucking hated, but at one phase of their friendship, Naruto had played the same song nonstop as he forced Sasuke to dance— to his dismay, he started to like it. Ah, fuck. “No…” Sasuke started, starting to scoot away when Naruto looked at him mischievously. 

_If you wanna be my lover…_

Naruto huffed back, “You need to get used to it already!” 

Unfortunately, Naruto’s tendency to drag Sasuke dancing whenever _Wannabe_ by _Spice Girls_ came up had never ceased, and when the explosive start of the song had begun, he shot up and grabbed both of Sasuke forearms and pranced around the room. 

Sasuke never understood how ‘disco dancing’ worked; it all looked like awkward swaying that seemed to only look good in a crowd. 

He and Naruto weren’t really much of a crowd. He sighed at the hands tightly wrapped around his wrists, seemingly unaffected that he was doing something he used to consider stupid. 

No matter how embarrassing it was, Sasuke didn’t pull away, letting Naruto sway their arms as they danced like idiots. 

_So tell you what I want, what I really, really want…_

When Naruto dropped Sasuke’s arms to dance to the chorus, Sasuke stopped his own dancing, not knowing what to do. He stood there awkwardly as he watched the blond do his… dancing. 

_If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends…_

“If you wanna be my lover!” The blond sang along. Naruto shimmied his shoulders as he leaned back and forth, grinning as he danced in front of his friend, and Sasuke couldn’t help but smile himself. It truly still felt awkward, but the joyous atmosphere didn’t let Sasuke complain. 

_Taking is too easy, but that’s the way it is…_

When the chorus finally ended, Naruto had brought him back to the action, this time grabbing his hands and swinging them high above them, trying to spin Sasuke around, but it could only be so graceful when they were much too close to height. 

Sasuke rolled his eyes when they briefly met, his heart trying not to explode with the sensation holding hands brought. Naruto ignored their clumsy arms, in favor of spinning with Sasuke as they tightly held hands to keep balance. 

They were graceless and uncoordinated, eventually spinning so fast that they’d painfully landed on the bed. His teeth clacked, and he made a move to get up and scold Naruto, but his wrists were pressed down, and the boy was only inches away. Naruto held himself on top of Sasuke, a knee bent beside the boy’s thigh, his other leg awkwardly on the floor. 

The wind knocked out of him, Sasuke stares right back at the still smiling face with darkened blue eyes that no light hit. 

_Wannabe_ was still playing in the background, muffled as it rolled under a sheet when they harshly landed on the bed. 

Faint sounds of thumping below them, Naruto’s grin turns into a serious gaze, “You can’t keep running away when you don’t know how to express your feelings, ya know,” he looked at the glossy dark orbs in front of him, cocking his head. The change in angle let light shine on Naruto’s eyes again, making them look clear, transparent— just like the type of person Naruto was. “I’ll definitely wait. But don’t run away.” 

Sasuke couldn’t bring himself to look away; he didn’t want to, either. Looking at those eyes never failed to make him feel things, never failing to let Naruto’s sincerity roll off into other people. He nodded carefully, whispering his own feelings, “It was all my fault—”

He stopped when Naruto pinned him with a glare that told him to shut up. “I don’t care,” he said carefully, “It’s best we show what we feel through our actions, right?” 

Sasuke could scoff at that. If he were to express his true feelings with actions, Naruto wouldn’t dare talk to him again. But he doesn’t criticize anything, instead staying pliant as he softly nods his head. 

They stared at each other, the song getting lower and lower, coming to its end. 

_If you wanna be my lover…_

“I…” Naruto starts. Sasuke doesn’t miss how Naruto’s eyes trail down, his own doing the same. 

When Naruto’s head starts to descend, Sasuke finds himself eagerly anticipating, his fists clenched, nails digging into his palms, his stomach pooling with the homespun feeling of desire. 

Desire to have this man in front of him, desire to _be._

Sasuke’s eyes flutter shut, getting dizzy and no longer able to focus with Naruto’s mop of golden hair was much too close. 

Foreign it felt, their lips meeting in a chaste, helpless touch; a kiss so precious and straightforward. 

Naruto backed away, his own face flushed with heat. 

Sasuke didn’t know if it was something his rational self would do— squirming a wrist from Naruto’s softened grip, he pulled the boy in for another gentle kiss. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holyyy shitt lollll just 1 or 2 more chapters ,, also i lowkey could've ended it in d last one but


	10. Our Coda

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy fucking shittt>>.>>/???
> 
> this chapter mostly self indulgent lol.... plus they 18

“You always manage to… avoid stuff,” Naruto nods his head as if he were agreeing with himself, crossing his arms as he scolded his friend. “Like… when you can’t run away, you close your eyes.” 

“We’ve had this conversation before.” Sasuke glared at him, not liking how Naruto easily assumed things about him, and shared them without a second thought. At least, maybe, Naruto didn’t seem to talk shit about him; not behind his back. 

“I’m right every time,” Naruto stuck his tongue out, childishly humming in a mocking tone. 

“Who told you that?” Sasuke sighed, “God, you’re delusional.” 

Naruto slaps a hand over his forehead in mock-offense, closing his eyes and gasping as he leaned heavily on Sasuke’s side. _“God,”_ He echoed, “Uchiha Sasuke can’t accept the truth!” 

“Right,” Sasuke simply rolled his eyes. 

The two were in line for food in the cafeteria— it was one of the rare occasions Sasuke had forgotten the lunch Itachi or his mother would prepare for him, and was now left to depend on Naruto for food. Naruto never complained, happy for Sasuke to tag along to get lunch and share what _he_ ate. 

Sasuke takes out his phone as discreetly as he can, not wanting it to get confiscated; Karin’s insistent messages weren’t getting any less insistent, and the school wasn’t the most tolerant with those who disobeyed cell phone rules. Not like he cared too much, though. Only Naruto had ever been punished; he was terrible at lies, excuses, let alone muting his phone so that _Shikamaru—_ was Naruto’s terrible explanation— wouldn’t be able to annoy him. 

“Who’re you talking to?” Naruto asked, looking down at Sasuke’s hands as they stood beside each other. 

“Karin.” 

“Again?” 

“Clearly not,” Sasuke deadpans. Back at their first summer break, after the event, Karin would always be by Naruto’s side when they met up, and was pleasantly surprised to see that he himself didn’t mind her presence. In a way, he had gotten close to her as he had with Sakura. 

“What’s so interesting about her, anyway?” Naruto ignores Sasuke’s exasperated voice. 

“We don’t always talk about her.” 

“I meant, you _always_ talk to her,” Naruto frowned, and Sasuke only answered with silence. “What’s she saying?” 

Sasuke tilts his phone to hide it, reading the messages before Naruto can. Whatever she sent was always in a way weird, and every morning during _her_ lunch she’d ask about Naruto. About him and Naruto, specifically. It was as if she knew he spent most of his lunches with her cousin. 

_Don’t ignore me_

_Wait_

_U rly r wild at school I swear_

Weird _and_ straightforward. Sasuke had been vague when talking about his antics with Naruto, but the girl seemed to hit bullseye every time. Successfully fighting off the blush threatening to show on his face— he was always like that, whenever anything was remotely Naruto related; blushing and gawky— Sasuke replied with a dry _no,_ and focused on where he was at the moment. 

They were nearing the front, Naruto still stuck to his side. 

Close proximity had no longer been an issue for the two of them, after… well, their virginal kissing. They’d _kiss,_ peck, hug— hell, _make out:_ but never actually talked about what they were doing nor what they felt about it. Naruto never seemed to push it, in fact, he initiated nearly all of it, and Sasuke wasn’t one to complain. It felt good, as weird as it sounded beforehand, and feeling good with your best friend was something on its own. It seemed each other’s expressions were enough, and Sasuke couldn’t help but agree.

“Looking good, Naruto,” The lunch lady complimented, and it caused Sasuke to look at the blond. Naruto smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. “The usual?” She asked. 

“Yep, but double, please,” Naruto said, and meeting Sasuke’s eyes, “Unless you want something else?” 

Sasuke only shook his head, taking the chance to look away from the blond’s face. Aside from him and Naruto committing to secret intimate… actions, Naruto had a major fucking glow up, growing tall, glowing wherever he went— it made all of Sasuke’s interactions with him even more memorable and exciting. Naruto cutting his hair short had only added to his charm, and it made Sasuke want to take those blue eyes out of their sockets; because _Jesus Christ,_ the golden hair no longer hid them, and those eyes were always the first thing anyone would look at. Including him. Years with his friend never meant he’d get used to anything. 

As soon as Naruto took their food, simple _chicken katsu sandwiches,_ he plopped the money over the counter and carried their food away. Sasuke scrambled right after, taking the bread that Naruto held out to his side.

—

“Can’t believe we’re graduating soon,” Naruto whispers, falling right away on Sasuke’s bed as soon as he’d entered the room. 

“Yeah,” Sasuke hums, dropping his bag on his desk. He sits on the chair and spun to look at the boy on the bed. 

“No more studying.” 

“There’s college, idiot,” Sasuke snorts, turning to the desk again to grab a book. He flips it open to the last page he was on the previous night, slumping against the chair as he sat crossed legged. 

“Well, not for a while, anyway,” Naruto easily replies, staring at the ceiling. There was a huge gap before they had to go to college— around five months, and to a student who spent a fat chunk of their life in school with short vacations, five months was certainly a lot. “What will you be taking again? Actually, I know. You wanted to be a doctor, right?” 

Sasuke answers after a while, “Yeah, doctor stuff… Itachi suggested taking Biology, so I’m taking that,” he exhales, not looking up from the book, “…I guess.” 

“You _guess?_ Weren’t you the one telling _me_ to take the future seriously?” Naruto chuckled, “You gotta keep consistent, Sasuke.” 

Sasuke didn’t want to say that Naruto was partially the reason why he would be going for Biology— it hurt a little bit of his pride to accept that even though Naruto would be the one to outwardly follow him like a loyal puppy, _he_ was no different. 

Sasuke had taken a peek at Naruto’s list of future aspirations, and seeing _‘doctor’_ written down had thrown him up for a loop; when he’d ask Naruto why, the blond only shrugged and added that he’d be taking Biology, running off for his club. 

There weren’t many options in the start, but Sasuke was hooked between Psychology and Biology and hearing from Naruto had solidified his goals. 

“It’s just overwhelming,” Sasuke easily replied, trying to focus on his book. Naruto was much too talented in grabbing attention, wanted and unwanted. “You wanted to be a doctor, too, right?” He murmured, eyes uselessly trailing over paragraphs. 

“Yep,” Naruto rolled over on the bed, looking at Sasuke, who was still… or trying, rather, to get immersed with whatever book he was reading. “I wanted to help people out— that was my main goal, but I didn’t really know how. Then you said you’d become a doctor and I figured I’d do the same.” Naruto laughed, “I realized I had time to pick my grades back up again, since I’ve got a motivation. A goal.”

“Motivation? To help people?” Sasuke snickered, “Quite confident of you.” 

“Are you not the same?” 

“Perhaps.” Sasuke always liked doing complicated and thinking of intricate details; human bodies seemed to fit such factors. And the ability to help others seemed like a good bonus, doing what you love at the same time being able to do good. Helping made not only him feel positive, but many other people too. 

“Plus…” Naruto trailed off. 

When the boy doesn’t continue, Sasuke tries to encourage him to continue, “Plus…?” 

_“Plus…_ we get to be together!” 

Sasuke warmed up real fucking quick, thankfully still sitting with his back towards the boy on his bed. He shakes his head a little, hoping that his hair would cover his ears; Naruto didn’t need to be reminded how much he affected Sasuke. “We might not be accepted in the same college.” 

“That’s nothing,” Naruto scoffed, “It’s guaranteed.” 

“As if.” 

“It is! I’m just as amazing as you are!” 

“I’m flattered,” Sasuke said, wondering for the hundredth time if Naruto were acting that way on purpose. 

Sasuke hears some light rustling, and creaking that told him Naruto was getting off the bed. 

Soon enough, arms wrap around his shoulders while tanned fingers softly lifted his chin. _“What?”_

Sasuke gets no answers, and instead he’s pulled into a tender greeting of lips. 

Sasuke falters, trembling as he drops the book on his lap, bringing his hands to grip on the wrists connected to the rough palm now cupping either sides of his face. His eyes are closed, yet again leaving what was going on to his imagination; yet it only added heat and emotion into their intimacy. 

When they parted— even if it was terribly brief— Sasuke chased after the lips, his hands releasing its grip on the tan wrists as he was lightly spun around. He’s pushed deeper into the chair, Naruto licking his lips to ask for gentle entrance, and without hesitating, Sasuke grants it. His head is softly cupped again, one hand fiddling and playing with his jaw to his ear, while the other stroked and played with the hairs of his nape, tickling and sending tremors from the tip of his ears to the soles of his feet. Sasuke’s heart swells with every touch, every stroke sending tingles to every pore of his pale body. 

Sasuke tries to hold back from making any embarrassing sounds, but when Naruto groans for the first time, it compels him to make sounds of his own. It should feel shameful, but everything Naruto had shown him for so long told him to believe otherwise. 

Sasuke grasps the front of the blond’s uniform, pulling and pulling; not wanting too much space between them. Soon, the hands drop down, across Sasuke’s pale arms, below the linen sleeves as rough fingers stroke his bare shoulders, then down again and stopping right at his elbows, gripping around them to pull him up. 

The kiss breaks, just enough time to barely swallow air, but soon they were sealed together again, Sasuke now sitting on the edge of the bed with Naruto’s knee pressed on the mattress between his thighs. His fingers still grasped Naruto’s shirt, wanting to pull them apart so he could trail his hands all over what Naruto’s chest had to offer, but their connection leaves him breathless and lightheaded, unable to think of anything but them and what they were doing.

It was desperate and impatient, as though they had no time left in the world, and Sasuke wouldn’t have it any other way; it truly felt like _them—_ messy, sloppy, _passionate._

Sasuke gasps, desperately needing air, but Naruto doesn’t let himself experience the same luxury; and for the first time his lips trail lower than Sasuke’s jaw, finding a new expanse of skin to explore, to feel. He nips on Sasuke’s neck, the two of them falling lower and lower on the bed, forcing Sasuke to rest on one elbow. 

Sasuke’s chest constricts, unable to see anything but the bobbing mop of messy golden hair and feeling wet and gentle licks and kisses against the skin of his collarbones. He breathes hard, his chest rising up and down harshly as if he had just ran a thousand miles. 

Naruto’s fingers quivered as they hurriedly undid the buttons that hooked Sasuke’s uniform closed, his lips following every new plane of skin exposed, pressing kisses, taking longer at spots with his sucking; leaving marks that hummed against the pale skin. His hands trail past his chest, to the lean stomach, sharp hips and protruding v-line, stroking and feeling, as if he were memorizing with all his senses.

Thankfully, his hands don’t go any lower, instead moving to go behind, to touch the dip and curve of Sasuke’s spine, relishing the shiver it brings, then up to the sharp edges of healthy shoulder blades, higher and higher until it urges Sasuke to remove his shirt. 

Naruto’s hands retract, letting Sasuke shrug the uniform off his shoulders, and one limb was free, he stretches the arm to pull the golden head back up, immediately diving into an open-mouthed, humid kiss. 

Sasuke’s uniform was now wrung around his wrist, and he moved to fling it away, and he did so, the cloth flying somewhere in the room. He brings his hand to pull in the blond to deepen their kiss, ignoring the drool that trickled down the corner of his mouth, moaning as the hands that massaged his sides, wanting to make his own moves— until someone barges into their room. Sasuke shoves Naruto as hard as possible, which wasn’t much but the blond didn’t resist, and perhaps it didn’t help at all; Sasuke was still awkwardly half naked on his bed, caught in flagrante delicto, another boy standing shocked in front of him with matching puffy lips and blushing face. 

He stood at half-mast, not a single bit obvious due to his position, while Naruto scurried to hide behind the chair in hopes that his obvious erection would stay unnoticed. 

“A-Aunty!” Naruto stammered, kneeling on the chair as he flushed, waiting for their intruder’s next move. 

She merely chuckled, eyes glimmering as her youngest son pulled a blanket to hide his chest, his discarded uniform near her feet as she stood by the door. 

“Mother,” Sasuke said, his own voice weak in embarrassment. 

“Hi, Sasuke,” she giggled, not walking into the room, only resting against the doorframe. She still wore her work clothes; they must’ve not heard her enter through the front door, too hooked up in their… moments of intimacy. “Hi, Naruto… glad to have you here again.” 

“H-Hi,” Naruto smiled sheepishly, “Thanks for having me.” 

“Sorry for intruding in your… _shenanigans,_ dears. I saw your shoes but the house was awfully quiet. So I went to check,” she says, her eyes trailing over Naruto, eyes glinting as if she delighted in his nervousness, “And, well, it’s certainly an awkward sight to witness, but I can’t get mad at others for what I’ve been guilty of in the past. Not something so trivial, at least.” 

“You did that with…” Sasuke grimaced, finding the thought of his own mother in the same situation quite disgusting. She giggled in answer, a slim hand politely covering her mouth as she nodded. 

“Don’t worry… I’ll just remind your father about it, before he decides to scold you… And remember to lock the door next time. Especially when doing, well, _stuff._ I’ll also remember to knock on the door," She pushed herself off the wooden frame, dropping her hand as she looked between the two. “Do continue,” she finished, laughing at their expressions as she stepped out and shut the door behind her. 

“Well…” Naruto speaks first, stepping away from the chair to lock the door, already positively calmed down. He stalked right back to the bed, gaze intense as he locked eyes with Sasuke.

He gently takes away the blanket off Sasuke’s chest, pushing the boy down with a fierce promise to resume their activities. 

—

“You guys are so annoying,” Sakura frowns, crossing her arms as she stood beside Sasuke, who had one of Naruto’s arms wrapped around his waist. 

Everyone had assumed they were together, the two of them never confirming nor debunking the rumors— always ignoring (which was only Sasuke), or laughing and changing the topic (which was Naruto). Neither of them had dared to talk about it, no matter how outward they were being. Sasuke was much too awkward regarding the topic, and Naruto… well, Sasuke didn’t know what the idiot was thinking. 

It had gotten to a point that Sakura was constantly in agony around them. 

“Come on! We’re graduating, why’re you so grumpy?” Naruto mused, looking past Sasuke’s face to look at the girl. 

She glared at him, pinching the tan hand that laid peacefully against Sasuke’s abdomen. Naruto yelps, the hand jumping, but it regains its rightful place only a second later. 

“I’m so tired of you guys,” she growled, just as her name was called to climb up on stage. A smile immediately graces her face when she turns away from them, and the bright flashes and clicking of phones are thrown her way. Sakura’s whole family had decided to come, happy for her overcoming another phase of life. 

Her robe, another color than the mass, stood out and strongly indicated that she was special. That, she, in fact, was their Valedictorian, and with the way the crowd cheered at her entrance, no one seemed to disagree that she’d deserve it. Naruto retracted his arm to clap along, grinning as he watched his now close friend glow brighter than the lights hitting her. 

They both had a clear view, which was in no way a coincidence; Sasuke had done things to bring honor to the school, automatically bringing him to the front of the lines, while Naruto simply asked to switch places with Sasuke’s seat mate the same day, despite days of practice. No one seemed to complain, so he wasn’t going to point it out in an attempt to be smug. 

Sakura bowed her head to receive a medal, moving to the lectern, nudging the microphone to bring it closer to her mouth. 

“Greetings,” she started, and the rest was a blur. 

—

Naruto had dragged Sasuke away once the speeches were over, away from the little buffet the blond would usually run towards, insisting that they should take one last stroll around the school to memorize everything. 

Sasuke had passed the blocky hat to Sakura, kindly asking her to bring it to her parents and explain that he would be going with Naruto for some stupid walk. Naruto agreed happily as though he were asked if the hat could be passed to his parents for him, dumping the hat on top of Sasuke’s own. Sakura scowled, but didn’t do anything more; she was already getting bombarded by her family, not having the space to smack Naruto across the room. 

“You know what I’ve always wanted to do?” Naruto asked, squeezing Sasuke’s palm that he had already held in a firm grip. 

Sasuke rolls his eyes, “You want to do a lot of things.” 

“Well, yes, then it means you have a lot of things to guess! Better start now!” Naruto laughed, tugging on Sasuke harder as he picked up his pace, “Come on then, guess!” 

Sasuke was pulled around the corner, “You want to… I dunno, beat me in exam rankings?” 

“Not even Sakura could do that,” Naruto scoffed, “And the closest I’ve been was back at the first-year, only because I had my uncle to teach me.” 

Sasuke mumbled contently, “It’s her who’s Valedictorian. Not me.” 

“Your shitty handwriting didn’t help your grades, huh?” Naruto teased, climbing up the stairs with Sasuke in tow. 

“You see,” Sasuke sighed, “How exactly am I going to guess when everything I say is technically right?” 

Starting to sweat, Naruto opened and closed his palm, swinging their hands in the process to allow ventilation. Then, he paused in the middle of the staircase, knowing no one would be around with the bustling downstairs, he jerked their hands behind him. The action pulled Sasuke forward, and Naruto used his other hand to pull the blob of dark hair even closer, angling his hand so their lips would meet and not an awkward clash of noses. 

Sasuke surrenders immediately, opening his mouth; surprisingly okay with kissing like hormone crazed idiots in public. But there was a limit to Sasuke giving Naruto freedom, and after he let himself get a little lightheaded, he pushed the blond away and took a deep breath. They were both flushed, just as they always were when they kissed. Ignoring how the lack of interruption from their surroundings intensified the heart beating within his ribs, he raises an eyebrow at the blond, half expecting an explanation, “Was that what you always wanted to do?” 

“Hmmm,” Naruto hummed, feigning innocence. It was enough to tell Sasuke that what Naruto _did_ want was along the lines. They continued their ascend in silence, Naruto stroking the smooth length of Sasuke’s thumb as they did. 

Soon they found themselves in their old classroom, the windows accidentally left open as it let cherry blossoms flow in. It wasn’t their place to clean anymore; they could freely admire how the light streamed in, pink petals floating along with the pale curtains with no worries. It was quiet and serene, the sounds of the outdoors fairly muffled out. 

Naruto pulled them towards their second year seats, which Sasuke was surprised he remembered in the first place. Naruto stroked their desks, a gentle smile on his face. 

“What’s so special about our second year?” 

Naruto pulled Sasuke close, no longer holding hands. He shamelessly rubs his moist hands on Sasuke’s robe, chuckling as the boy reciprocates. “The year we first kissed,” Naruto answers, leaning against the edge of the desk. 

“Kissed like virgins,” Sasuke retorts, trying to ignore how the pink trees right outside always made him reminisce the first time he confessed. The only time he confessed, to be exact. 

“Well, were you not a virgin that time?” Naruto scoffed. 

“No worries about that,” Sasuke smirked, his palms skimming over Naruto’s thinly covered shoulders. God knows how the idiot handled when it was cold outside. Naruto doesn’t seem bothered with the cold breeze that streamed in, and leans in when Sasuke's palm cups his cheek, looking pleased. 

“Ya know, I’m getting kinda tired too,” He blurted out, looking even more nervous with every passing second. 

“Tired of what?” Sasuke asked, stroking a scarred cheek as he cocked his head.

“You not being my boyfriend.” 

Sasuke’s hand froze, not knowing how to react now that he was in the moment. Sasuke tries to remind himself that this is what he wanted, but he must’ve decided to answer too late, Naruto sputtering with progressively glossy eyes. 

“Uh, uhm, s-sorry, too much?” Naruto laughed sadly, eyes tearing up faster when the slim hand starts to drop from his cheek. 

“No,” Sasuke shook his head, then, he mumbled so low, “Me too.” 

“W-Wait,” Naruto jolted, “Did you say _me too?_ Say it again, please, I’m not sure.” 

Sasuke glared at him, feeling as if Naruto was joking. He drops his hand in favor of tapping around Naruto’s jaw. 

“Sasuke, please?” He urged. 

_“Me too… idiot,”_ Sasuke mumbled, his glare not softening the slightest. His heart thrummed against his chest, and with how close Sasuke’s fingers were to Naruto’s pulse, he knew they felt the same. 

Naruto only tears up even more, shutting his eyes and forcing the tears to pour down his cheeks as he clamped Sasuke’s hand between his jaw and his collarbone, his arms drooping to his sides as though he didn’t know what to do with them, choking and sobbing. 

Sasuke only hoped Naruto was crying for the right reasons, tugging his hand away from the constricting grip to hug the blond. Naruto trembled as he moved to respond, his own hands snaking below Sasuke’s arms to hug and pull on the cloth on the boy’s back, carelessly smothering his tears and snot into the thin shoulders. 

They stay like that for a while, hugging tightly. Eventually, Naruto stops shaking, and Sasuke pulls at the blond’s back as a request to pull away. 

“We better be no less than boyfriends, Sasuke,” Naruto says, pulling them into a tighter hug. He tilts his head to start kissing along Sasuke’s neck, up to his jaw, skimming by the red ears. Without breaking his grasp on the boy, Naruto retracts until only their lower halves are touching, connecting their lips, happy that Sasuke doesn’t back away from his teary, and possibly snotty face. Instead, he opened his mouth, enticing the blond to do more. 

Naruto pulled an inch away, forcing their foreheads together. Sasuke was first to speak, his hot yet minty breath spreading across their little space. “Are we?” 

“We should.” 

Sasuke scoffed to the side, serotonin speeding through his veins to all over his body, “…I like you.” 

“I figured.” 

Sasuke glares, punching Naruto’s arm softly. 

“Don’t worry,” Naruto whispers, pressing a kiss to Sasuke’s cheek, he pushes the hair that covers the other half of Sasuke’s face, hooking it behind the glowing ears, letting his fingers glaze over the soft skin. He pulls back and stares at the beautiful dark eyes, wishing his own were as fiery and sincere. 

“I like you too.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit we;re done, n im speechless . lol . idk. first serious fic ive ever written lolssss, props to authors who reach 250k slowburn fics,,, like... wowsa.... how ... wut  
> ... ill prolly be working on more.. . .but idk ... .. ahh.... 
> 
> // I'll prolly write other drabbles like their festival/what they did in SG. didn't write it here bc it felt so filler lol 🤔🤔 
> 
> omggg thanks for reading djbfskhbfsdbf


End file.
